Vast Fluttering

I walked with my traveler through a long system of valleys

at the end of summer

under a non-moon. Crowns

of periwinkle. Mint. Dusty laurel. The scent

of the nearly finished, about to become—

And those tiny loud berries were hardest at the end of summer

coming forward to be finished

—not having enough existence to be ripe

(yet full of crimson crimson hope)—

the white blossoms that would not fruit

were powdery at the center,

moon-powdery like the sixties, and the blossoms

came forward as trapped light.

What is the uncertain part that wants to be finished by another

What little uncertain part comes forth in thorns

each thorn hooking back to not

being a cardinal’s crest

What uncertain part comes forth in thorns

(Some moths with old-lady-curtain-wings flew by)

And I loved my traveler but I feared his bright edges

the manner in which he

, looked off to the side. At mother nature.

Loved my traveler quite a lot

though he carried the past on his back—her blond changes—

and seemed at ease while I was keeping watch,

(split and puzzled and keeping watch)

he seemed at home in this bright accident,

so what was my almost compared to his being there,

my half-darkness compared to his complete light,

my local compared to his everywhere

and what was I    Was I.    (Was I)

The notion of fate pulling us sideways

Fate which traps light in the alders

Causes the vast fluttering of the supposed-to-be-there

Fate which turns young ladies into trees

and put the plague of the oak moths up that year

I loved him so outside myself I didn’t fear, for several minutes!

(moths with ragged curtain wings flew by)

And the little identity owl said Fool, Fool

The archbishop of couldn’t said Why, Why,

Some little nightingale-type-thing said

How previous of you

—moths with mended curtain wings flew by.

I had some boxes of noon I carried around inside

a little lit room sealed up by several dawns

I’d been reading some books on female identity

but who was I (Was I)

Had received the gifts of the new privacy

like women of my decade

Had absorbed the freckled glow of the moon in detail

But what was my little lit room

Compared to his little lit room

My sometime compared to his every single time

What were my shelves on female identity

And what was I (was I)

The problem of falling in love in this century.

The problem of it not being

natural anymore. No no not that they said no more

popular yearning. You must be in relation

to him something finished.

But I saw nature looked completely unfinished

Ellipsis and : : : of the cicadas

Half of an owl (maybe only one wing). Mostly

things had been omitted.

Mostly I heard mostly mostly

in the Katharine Hepburn pines.

What is the part that wants to be matched by another

What part wants to be seen clear through

Doesn’t want nature as the mother exactly

or wants the dark rising

colorless cobra female, the end

We walked through night till night was the poem

Night after night I felt three necessary valleys between his knuckles

Night after night, his hand stayed in my hand

An osprey stood by its possible nest.

It looked like an ace of spades standing there

sleeping. Backlit. Its neck in its pocket.

Sprigs of slightly shabby sticks it had arranged

after a casual tour of oceans.

And we loved that dark bird together,

it brooded, looking the very dawn at us,

its grief cry tucked in, for later use,

now only the gutteral R of high school French

to put itself to sleep

but so much pure creation packed around its lucky nest,

a slight, then a vast, vast fluttering;

and we loved that dark bird, together we were the bird,

he loved the center of what had already happened

and I loved what it was becoming—

so the future stretched before us as a series

of perceptions

and I saw how loving a thing beside him

I might become extra

not so less, not so unnumbered,

that loving a thing beside him I might become two—