“Oi!”
It had all been going perfectly. Joe and Lauren had been sitting on a park bench eating their lollies from Raj’s shop. Raj could see Joe was trying to impress this girl, and so made a ridiculous fuss of him, giving him a one-penny discount on their lollies, and offering Lauren a free browse of Now magazine.
At last, though, they had escaped the newsagent’s shop and found a quiet corner of the park, where they had been talking and talking as the melted red goo of their lollies dribbled down their fingers. They spoke about everything except Joe’s family life. Joe didn’t want to lie to Lauren. He already liked her too much for that. So when she asked him what his parents did he just told her his dad worked in ‘human waste management’ and unsurprisingly Lauren didn’t enquire any further. Joe desperately didn’t want Lauren to know how ridiculously rich he was. Having observed how Sapphire shamelessly used his dad, he knew only too well how money could ruin things.
Everything was perfect… until the sound of that “Oi!” spoiled everything.
The Grubb twins had been hanging around by the swings aching for someone to tell them off. Unfortunately for them, the police, the park-keeper and the local vicar were all otherwise engaged. So when one of them spotted Joe they bounced over grinning, no doubt hoping to relieve their boredom by making someone else’s life a misery for a bit.
“Oi! Give us some more money or we’ll put you in a bin!”
“Who are they talking to?” whispered Lauren.
“Me,” said Joe reluctantly.
“Money!” said a Grubb. “Now!”
Joe reached into his pocket. Maybe if he gave them each a £20 note they would leave him alone, for today at least.
“What are you doing, Joe?” asked Lauren.
“I just thought…” he stammered.
“What’s it to you, slag?” said Grubb One.
Joe looked down at the grass, but Lauren handed Joe what was left of her lolly and rose from the bench. The Grubbs shifted around uneasily. They weren’t expecting a thirteen-year-old girl to literally stand up to them.
“Sit down!” said Grubb Two, as he or she put his or her hand on Lauren’s shoulder to force her down onto the bench. Lauren, however, grabbed his or her hand and twisted it behind his or her back, and then pushed him or her to the ground. The other Grubb charged her, so Lauren leaped into the air and kung-fu kicked him or her to the ground. Then the other one leaped up and tried to grab her, but she karate-chopped him or her on his or her shoulder and he or she raced off screaming in pain.
It really is quite hard writing this when you don’t know someone’s gender.
Joe felt it was about time he did something so he stood up and, his legs shaking in fear, approached the Grubb. It was only then that Joe realised he was still holding two melting ice lollies. The remaining twin stood its ground for a moment, and then when Lauren stood behind Joe he or she ran off, whimpering like a dog.
“Where did you learn to fight like that?” said Joe, astounded.
“Oh, I’ve just done a few martial arts classes, here and there,” replied Lauren, a little unconvincingly.
Joe reckoned he might have found his dream girl. Not only could Lauren be his girlfriend, she could be his bodyguard too!
They walked through the park. Joe had walked through it many times before, but today it seemed more beautiful than ever. As the sunlight danced through the leaves on the trees on this Autumn afternoon, for a moment everything in Joe’s life seemed perfect.
“I’d better head home,” Lauren said, as they neared the gate.
Joe tried to hide his disappointment. He could have strolled round the park with Lauren forever.
“Can I buy you lunch tomorrow?” he asked.
Lauren smiled. “You don’t have to buy me anything. I’d love to have lunch with you, though, but I’m paying, you understand?”
“Well, if you really want to,” said Joe. Wow. This girl was too good to be true.
“What’s the school canteen like?” said Lauren.
How could Joe find the words? “Um, well, it’s… it’s great if you are on a very strict diet.”
“I love healthy food!” said Lauren. That wasn’t quite what Joe meant, but it was the best place at school for a date as it was guaranteed to be quiet.
“See you tomorrow then,” said Joe. He closed his eyes and made his lips the shape of a kiss. And waited.
“See you tomorrow Joe,” said Lauren, before skipping off down the path. Joe opened his eyes and smiled. He couldn’t believe it! He had nearly kissed a girl!