The sound of Ben’s scream echoed through the length of the pipe. He whacked the rat off his head and it landed on top of Granny, who was crawling up the pipe just behind him.
“Poor little rat,” she said. “Be gentle with it, dear.”
“But—”
“He was here first, now come on, we have to hurry. The sleeping-tonic chocolate cake I gave the guards will be wearing off very soon.”
The pair crawled further up the pipe. It was wet and slippery, and it smelled awful. (Unfortunately for Ben and Granny, it turns out that ancient poo does still pong.)
After a while, Ben could see a shaft of grey in all the black. It was the end of the tunnel, at last!
He hauled himself out of the ancient stone privy, and then reached down the pipe to help his granny clamber out. They were covered from head to toe in disgustingly stinky black slime.
Standing inside the cold dark toilet, Ben spied a glassless window in the wall. They clambered through this and landed on the cold wet grass of the Tower’s courtyard below.
For a few moments they lay there, gazing up at the moon and the stars. Ben reached out and held Granny’s hand. She squeezed it tight.
“This is amazing,” said Ben.
“Come on, dear,” she whispered. “We’ve barely started yet!”
Ben stood up and helped Granny to her feet. The old lady immediately started unwrapping the clingfilm that she had waterproofed her handbag with.
This took several minutes.
“I think I may have overdone the clingfilm. Still, better safe than sorry.”
Eventually the mile-long roll of clingfilm was off, and Granny took out a map Ben had cut out of a book in the school library, so the two unlikely thieves could locate Jewel House.
It was eerie being inside the Tower of London courtyard at night.
The Tower is said to be haunted by the ghosts of people who died there. Over the years, several guards have run away in terror, claiming that at the dead of night they had seen the ghosts of various historical figures who had died there.
Now, though, there was something even stranger roaming the courtyard.
Granny in a wetsuit!
“This way,” hissed Granny, and Ben followed her down a walled passage. Ben’s heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to explode.
After a few minutes they were standing outside Jewel House, overlooking Tower Green and the monument to those who were beheaded or hanged there. Ben wondered if he and Granny would be executed if they were caught stealing the Crown Jewels, and a shiver ran down his spine.
Two Beefeaters were lying on the ground, snoring loudly. Their immaculate black and red uniforms emblazoned with ‘ER’ were becoming soiled on the wet ground. Granny’s herbal sleeping tonic in the chocolate cake had worked.
But for how long?
As she hurried past them, Granny let out a familiar quacking sound from her bum. One of the guards’ noses crinkled at the smell.
Ben held his breath – not just because of the smell – but because he was afraid.
Was Granny’s bottom burp going to wake the guard up and ruin everything?
An eternal moment passed…
Then the guard opened one eye.
Oh no!
Granny pushed Ben back, and raised her handbag, as if to clobber the Beefeater with it.
This is it, thought Ben. We’ll be hanged!
But then the guard closed his eye again, and continued snoring.
“Granny, please try to control your bottom,” hissed Ben.
“I didn’t do a thing,” said Granny, innocently. “It must have been you.”
They tiptoed to the huge steel door at the front of Jewel House.
“Right, I just need your dad’s power drill…” said Granny, reaching inside her handbag. With a juddering whirr, she started drilling through the series of locks on the door. One by one the metal locks crumbled to the ground.
All of a sudden the guards snored extremely loudly.
Ben froze and Granny nearly dropped the power drill. But the guards slept on and, after a few nerve-racking minutes, the door was finally unlocked.
Granny looked exhausted. Sweat was dripping down her forehead. She sat down on a low wall for a moment, and then pulled out a thermos flask.
“Cabbage soup?” she offered.
“No, thank you, Granny,” replied Ben. He shifted uneasily. “We’d better get going before the guards wake up.”
“Rush, rush, rush, that’s all you kids do these days. Patience is a virtue.” She poured the last of her cabbage soup down her throat, and rose to her feet.
“Delicious! Right, let’s do this!” she said. The huge steel door creaked as it opened, and Ben and Granny entered Jewel House.
Out of the dark, came a flurry of black feathers, hitting Ben and Granny in the face. Ben was so startled he screamed again.
“Shush!” said Granny.
“What were they?” said Ben, as he saw the winged creatures disappear off into the black sky. “Bats?”
“No, dear, ravens. There are dozens of them here. Ravens have lived at the Tower for hundreds of years.”
“This place is spooky,” said Ben, his stomach knotted in fear.
“Especially at night,” agreed Granny. “Now stay close to me, boy, because it’s about to get a whole lot spookier…”