Chapter 14

I woke when something shifted next to me. Confusion clouded my brain. When a warm, solid arm wound around my waist and cuddled me close against a heat-blasting furnace, the confusion cleared, and my mind came awake in a heartbeat.

“Mmm,” Frayne nuzzled against my ear. “You feel good.”

Good didn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

Relaxed, peaceful, sated were more accurate words. I should have been exhausted. If either of us had gotten more than an hour’s sleep total, it was saying something. During the night, we’d whittled the strip of five condoms down to two.

Frayne pulled me closer, and I wiggled my butt against a very impressive morning erection. His hand drifted down my belly to cup me.

It was a little embarrassing how quickly I spread my legs to give him access.

In no time at all, we shaved another condom from the strip.

Frayne kissed me and then went into the bathroom while I stretched my arms over my head and arched my back, my curled toes digging into the mattress. I’d forgotten how revitalizing sex could be, how alive it could make you feel, inside and out.

I sighed and looked over at the alarm clock on my bedside table.

“Oh, crap.”

I flung back the covers and jumped out of bed, banging my shin on the bed footboard. With a loud “ouch,” I stumbled toward the bathroom, and collided with Frayne as he was exiting. He grabbed my upper arms and halted me, worry creasing his brow.

“What’s the matter?”

“I overslept,” I said, wrenching out of his hold. “I need to be at Angelica Arms in twenty minutes to take Nanny to church,” I added, switching on the shower. I secured my hair into a messy knot with a scrunchie I’d left on the counter, while he stood in the doorway, staring at me. “I don’t feel like listening to a lecture if I show up late.”

The water was still coming up to temperature when I stepped into the shower. Ignoring it and Frayne, I yanked the curtain, my teeth chattering from the cold spray raining down on me.

“I’ll get dressed,” I heard him say.

In record time, I was washed and put together for the day, my hair pulled back into a ponytail. I’d assumed Frayne had, as he’d said, dressed and gone back to the inn. I sprinted down the stairs and came to a full stop when I found him in the kitchen, his coat on, a steaming mug in his hand.

“I thought you’d left.”

He shook his head. “Here.” He handed me the mug.

“You made me tea?”

He shrugged. “I microwaved it since you’re running late. I remember how you take it from when we were at the diner.”

Could a heart sing? If so, mine did right then and there. This lovely man remembered something as trivial as how I took my tea after watching me fix it once. Danny never even remembered that, and I’d been married to him for almost twenty years.

Did I say sing? Hell, my heart belted out a chorus of hallelujahs and notes worthy of celestial cherubim.

With the mug in one hand, I slid the other up over his cheek. As he had before, he covered it with his own hand, cuddled into it, and pressed a sweet kiss to my palm.

Those angels started vocalizing again.

“Mac.” There was so much I wanted to say to him, so much I needed to say. Time, though, wouldn’t let me.

“I’ll head back to the inn while you’re at church,” he said. “Can I…come over later? I know you’re going to call the curator today, but can I go over a few more things before you do?”

In truth, I’d forgotten all about that.

“Of course. I have to drop Seldrine off at her meeting, but I should be home by twelve.”

He nodded.

Even though I needed to leave, all I really wanted to do was to stand here with this man and forget the rest of the world and all its obligations existed.

Well, more than stand, if truth be known.

Frayne sighed and squeezed my hand. “You’d better get going. Your grandmother’s waiting.”

I rolled my eyes. “She hates being late. For anything. And never lets us forget it if one of us is.”

The quick grin he tossed me was toe-tingling. He gave my cheek a quick kiss and said, “See you later.”

Then he was gone.

****

“Are ya not feelin’ well, Number One? You’ve been awful quiet this mornin’ and ya look as if you had a fight with your pillow.”

Nanny was her usual observant self this morning. There was no way, though, I could share the reason I hadn’t slept much.

“Just lots of things going on up here.” I swirled my finger around me head. “Nothing to worry about.”

“So Olivia’s event was a bust?” Colleen asked as she sipped her tea.

We were all seated in Maureen’s little private alcove kitchen off the main one she cooked in for the inn, having a late breakfast. Colleen and Slade had joined Maureen, Nanny, and me after I’d brought Nanny from morning mass. My younger sister shuttled back and forth between the kitchens, assisting her helper, Sarah, serve breakfast to her guests.

I’d arrived at the nursing home with a few minutes to spare, which didn’t stop Nanny from commenting on my tardiness. In the car she’d grilled me—as Colleen had assured me she would—about Olivia’s event. I was truthful in my replies, even making her laugh when I described the men who’d attended. She’d patted my hand and declared, “There now, darlin’, you’ll meet someone. I’ve no doubt of it. ’Tis a catch, you are, for sure. Beauty, brains, and a bangin’ bod you have, as the kids say these days.”

Her faith in me warmed my heart and went a long way in boosting my ego.

“A bust for me, anyway,” I told my sister. “But I didn’t go there intending to meet anyone. It was more a way to start. I’m having lunch with Olivia sometime this week to discuss…other alternatives.”

“She’s got a great track record,” Maureen said while she went around the table refilling our cups. “Colleen, isn’t one of your upcoming brides a match of hers?”

My sister nodded while she swallowed the forkful of pancakes she’d taken.

“Speaking of brides and weddings, we have some news,” Slade said. He slid his hand into Colleen’s and smiled his charming, crooked smile at her.

The entire table went silent.

“We’ve set a date,” Colleen announced. “It’s a bit sooner than we originally planned, but there are…” She waved a hand in the air.

“Mitigating circumstances,” Slade, the law professor, added.

I had a pretty good idea what those circumstances were.

“Well, don’t be keepin’ us waitin’ with bated breath, Number Two,” Nanny said. “I’m not getting any younger sitting here, ya know. Tell us, lass. Tell us.”

The smile Colleen gave the man she’d pledged her heart to was so filled with love, tears batted behind my eyes.

“Well, we’d thought about a September wedding because the fall colors will be beautiful around here,” she said, “but we’re moving it up to the beginning of April.”

“That’s barely three months away.” Maureen’s surprise mimicked my own.

“I know. I had a cancellation, though, on a weekend where I only had one wedding booked. It seemed a little…serendipitous.”

“Still, it’s not a lot of time to plan the shindig you’ve always dreamed of,” Maureen said.

“Yeah, well, if we wait any longer, my dress won’t fit.”

“The way you’ve been shovelin’ in those pancakes, Number Two, I’ve no doubt of it.” Nanny’s eyebrows rose as she thrust her chin toward Colleen’s plate. “Eatin’ like a starving’ man, you are.”

“Maureen’s good cooking isn’t the reason my dress won’t fit, Nanny,” Colleen said, her cheeks blooming with the rosy red hue our fair skin was tormented by. “And I’m not the one’s who’s starving all the time.” She ran a hand over her abdomen.

“I knew it!” I jumped up from my seat and threw my arms around her, Maureen quick on my heels.

“When are you due?” I asked, reaching over and squeezing Slade’s hand.

“The beginning of August,” he said.

“So you’ll be”—I did a quick math calculation in my head—“about four months in April.”

Colleen nodded.

“I’m gonna be an auntie.” Maureen’s eyes filled.

“You’re not the only one,” I said.

They’d already spoken to our parish priest and reserved the church.

“The reception will be here,” Colleen said. To Maureen she added, “Okay?”

“I’d be royally pissed if you decided on any place else.”

I tossed a quick peek at the one person at the table who hadn’t squealed in glee. Nanny was, for her, unnaturally quiet. The fact she hadn’t scolded Maureen for her choice of words was abnormal behavior for our strict grandmother. A shaft of light flittered across her face from the bay window in the kitchen to reflect a shimmering in her eyes.

“Nanny?” Colleen said. “Are you okay?”

“Well, Colleen Sinead. How do you think I am? With news such as this?”

Uh-oh. Whenever Nanny used one of our Christian names it was usually wise to drop into a runner’s stance and sprint for the wilds of the New Hampshire woods.

Colleen’s bright smile dropped, a nervous grimace replacing it.

“Um, happy for us?” she offered.

Nanny’s pale eyebrows tugged together. “Happy, is it? Yer informin’ me I’m about to be a great-grandmother. And you without the benefit of a marriage license to your name, I’ll add.”

The four of us sat perfectly still, breaths held in anticipation.

“You weren’t raised that way, putting the cart afore the horse, as it were. How do you think I should be feeling about that, I ask ya?”

“Fiona.” Slade’s tone was as hard as steel. If I’d ever had the chance to be on the opposite side of a courtroom against him, I’d be very cautious if that tone crept into his voice.

Nanny’s shimmering eyes began to twinkle as a tiny crease pulled at the edge of her lips. In the next second, she let go with a full belly laugh. “Had you goin’ there for a mite, didn’t I?”

Four loud, collective exhales drifted through the air.

Nanny reached across the table and took Colleen’s and Slade’s hands in hers. “It’s more delighted than I can put to words, I am,” she told them. “I love the both of ya from the moon and back. A baby of your own is about the best news you can give an old woman. It’s a blessing on your lives, and to those of us who love ya dearly.”

Tears waterfalled down Colleen’s cheeks as she and Slade both rose and hugged Nanny.

Maureen shot me a napkin to dab my eyes.

“Hey. Why’s everyone blubbering?” Lucas Alexander asked as he walked into the kitchen, his hat in one hand, a Styrofoam coffee cup in the other.

“I don’t remember calling for the law,” Nanny said, her back straightening as she arched her brows at him. Nanny and Lucas had a long, problematic relationship, stemming from the multiple times he’d arrested her over the years for civil disobedience. Coupled with the fact that he’d been a student in her religious education classes as a kid and then a de facto member of our family since he’d been Danny’s best friend, he was a fixture in our lives, something Nanny took exception to when he’d become the police chief.

“Mrs. Scallopini.” He smiled at her. “Always a pleasure. You’re looking exceptionally lovely this morning.”

Nanny squared her shoulders, clicked her tongue, but I swear she was fighting the urge to grin back at him. I’ve always suspected she cares more for him than she lets on.

“Stop flirting with my grandmother,” Maureen said, taking the cup from his hand and replacing it with one of her own, filled with fresh coffee. “Why are you here?”

My sister was another one I suspected cared for our police chief more than she let on.

“Thanks.” He took a long chug of the coffee, closed his eyes and sighed. “No one makes coffee like you do, Maureen. Now, answer my question first,” Lucas said, looking about. “Why the communal waterworks?”

Colleen and Slade shared their news.

“I need to speak to Cathy, and I knew she’d be here after mass this morning,” he told us after congratulating them. “You got a couple minutes?” he asked me.

I excused myself and walked into the hallway with him for some privacy. After we spoke about an upcoming case, we went back into the kitchen.

To my surprise, Mac Frayne was seated at the table, a look of bemusement on his face, a mug of my sister’s coffee in his hand.

Where Nanny had already commented on how sleep-deprived and tired I looked, the same couldn’t be said for Frayne. His pale eyes were bright and free of those tormenting shadows, the skin at the corners creased as he smiled. His color was high and robust, his body relaxed. An open smile I could only term enigmatic graced his face as he gazed upon my grandmother. Her hand was draped across his forearm, and her fingers squeezed it coquettishly, her tiny body leaning toward him while she spoke.

“Ah, Number One, come and sit back down. Me scribe’s here.”

“The last I heard he’s writing Josiah’s biography, Nanny. Not yours.” I retook my seat opposite her. “ ’Morning,” I said to Frayne, then quickly picked up my mug.

“Good morning,” he replied.

Two hours ago he’d left my bed after a night filled with scorching sex and mutual pleasure—given and received. Multiple times. You’d never have suspected it from the uninflected and casual tone of his greeting. We could have been two strangers, or at best, fringe acquaintances for all the animation in his voice. As he lifted his cup to his lips, though, his gaze lingered on me for a few beats.

I tossed up a silent prayer that I’d been the only one at the table to see and decipher the heated, knowing look he gave me.

From her position standing behind Lucas’s chair, Maureen cocked her head and tossed me a raised-eyebrows gander. I ignored it.

“Well, me life is a much more entertainin’ and fascinatin’ story than that old crackpot’s, to be sure,” Nanny said.

“No one can argue with that,” Lucas mumbled.

“Why’s it not soundin’ like that’s a compliment, young man?”

“Oh, it is, trust me. Your life is nothing if not…entertaining.”

Nanny harrumphed.

“The reverend’s real story may turn out to be a surprise,” Frayne told Nanny.

“What do you mean his real story?” Colleen asked. “We all grew up with the nauseatingly boring tale of his life drilled into us at school. I can’t tell you how many papers we were all tortured to write about him. What do you know we don’t?”

Frayne looked my way, his eyebrows lifting in a question.

“Go ahead and tell them.”

He did, detailing what we’d discovered amongst Robert’s stored possessions.

“Cathy is going to call the museum curator today so we can move the journals there and use their technology to read through Josiah’s first-hand accounts.”

“About that,” I interrupted. “Leigh had her baby last night, and she’s gonna be in the hospital for a few days. Father Duncan sent up a prayer of intention for her this morning at mass. It’s probably better we leave things as they are until I can find out when she’s coming back to work.”

“So that means I can continue my research at your house?”

“Yes. With Leigh out of commission for a bit longer, I think it’s appropriate.”

“Well, now, isn’t this an interestin’ bit o’ news on this morning made for announcements.” Nanny’s penetrating gaze shot from me, to Frayne, then settled back on me. I knew that look and the inquisitive tone partnered with it well, since I’d heard it enough times growing up. It usually preceded a thorough, intense interrogation C.I.A. officials could learn a thing or two from. “You’ve been conductin’ your research at me granddaughter’s home, have ya?”

Frayne nodded.

“Just the two o’ ya, ay?”

This time his nod took a little longer coming. “Cathy has been a big help with…everything.”

“Interestin’. I didn’t know you were keeping all Roger’s t’ings at your house, Number One.”

“Oh? I didn’t mention it?” I tossed her a careless shrug and sipped my tea.

“No. You didn’t. Me body may be agin’, darlin’ girl, but me memory’s as sharp as a knife.”

“Goes along with her tongue,” Lucas murmured into his cup.

Nanny snuck him a heavy-lidded side eye, to which he smiled cheekily, before she turned her attention back to me.

“It made sense,” I said before she could continue with her cross-examination, “since we didn’t know what we were dealing with in all those boxes and containers. And there were a lot of them. A whole lot.”

“I told ya from the get-go Robert was packrat, darlin’.”

“Apples and trees, Nanny, because there’s five lifetimes worth of stuff still crammed in your storage lockers, and it doesn’t all belong to Robert. I don’t think you’ve ever thrown anything away in your entire life. Clothes, furniture, pictures. How many holiday ornaments and decorations does one person need?”

As a diversion tactic, it proved a good one. Nanny’s attention shunted away from grilling me about Frayne to plead her case and need for every item in those lockers.

My sisters tossed each other a knowing look while Nanny rambled on about how many times she’d moved and married during her lifetime, accumulating more possessions with each. They realized exactly what I was doing since they’d apprenticed in the art of Nanny-distraction at my knee.

I let her rant, mentally high-fiving myself, as I nodded in agreement with everything she said. When she stopped to take a well-deserved breath, I rose from the table.

“I need to get you back to the Arms and go pick up Seldrine,” I told her.

“We can take her back,” Slade offered, after getting the okay from Colleen.

“lt’ll give us a few more minutes to chat.”

“Ah, now, that’s the reason you’re in the runnin’ to be me favorite grandson-in-law, right there, darlin’ boy.”

“He’s going to be your only grandson-in-law,” Maureen quipped as she placed a bakery box on the table in front of her, filled with what I guessed were scones for the week.

“Well, it’s not for me lack of tryin’ to get you all hitched now, is it? Colleen’s th’ only one of ya who’s managed to snag a man. And thank the good Lord above she did. After that ugly business with her previous fiancé, the scion of darkness, I was worried sick she’d never walk down a church aisle.”

The reactions around the table to this comment were comical in their diversity. Colleen went beet red, Lucas laughed till he gagged on his coffee, Slade’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Colleen’s former fiancé (whose name was Harry, not the scion of darkness. Maureen and I called him Vlad because he was a soul-sucker, but Nanny got it confused with a character in a popular book she’d been reading at the time.) Frayne’s face was sixteen shades of bewildered as he stared across the table at me.

I mouthed, I’ll explain later. With that, I thanked Slade, then kissed Nanny’s and Lucas’s cheeks.

“I’ll walk you out,” Maureen said, taking my arm and pushing me into the hallway.

When we were out of earshot, she tossed a quick look over her shoulder and whispered, “What’s going on?”

I knew what she was asking, but once a lawyer…

“Duh. I’m getting my coat.”

“Diversion works with Nanny, sis. Not me. You know perfectly well what I mean.”

Yeah, I did. Still, old habits were hard to let go of.

I shrugged into my coat and faced her, hoping the expression on my face was blank.

Hands on her hips, Maureen ran her gaze across my features. “You slept with Mac.”

Okay, this perceptive talent my little sister possessed was getting annoying.

“Don’t deny it.” Before I could, she pointed a finger at me. “I knew it the minute he spoke to you. Plus, I saw him when he rolled into the inn this morning and tried to sneak up the stairs. Yesterday’s clothes and bed head scream walk of shame.”

I closed my eyes and dug deep for calm.

“Cathy?”

“Okay. Yes. Yes, I did. We did. Satisfied?”

“Are you?”

What would it have cost me to admit I was more satisfied than I’d been in a decade? Maybe even my lifetime?

Better to keep it to myself.

“Look, sis.” Maureen took my free hand and covered it with both of hers. “You’ve forced yourself into emotional exile since Danny died. You work, take care of all of us, and do nothing for yourself.”

“That’s not true. I—”

“It is and you know it.”

Because I did, I shrugged.

“I want you to be happy and enjoy your life again. To find a man who loves and deserves you. Who’ll cherish you.”

“It’s not like that between us, Mo. This is just…well, I don’t know what it is, really. Forced togetherness? Hormones?” I lowered my voice. “Horniness? I don’t know.”

Her smile was quick and filled with laughter. “There’s nothing wrong with giving into a little lust, you know.”

“Truth.” I nodded. “I wasn’t planning on sleeping with him, though. I didn’t even think he liked me.”

“The man feels way more than like for you, Cath. You didn’t see him come into the kitchen before. When he saw us all sitting there, he tracked the table, searching for you. He looked like a lost little boy when he didn’t find you sitting with us. When I told him you were talking to Lucas, his entire body relaxed and he smiled for the first time.”

My heart about swelled to breaking.

“Like I said, the man feels something for you.”

This time I shook my head while I buttoned my coat. “Maybe.”

“No maybe about it. How do you feel about him is the question?”

“Conflicted.” The word spilled out before I could prevent it.

Maureen nodded. “I get that. Can I offer a little advice?”

“Since when do you give advice? You hate getting it and never take it when it’s tendered.”

“True. In this instance, though, I think I can bend my rule.”

I heaved a theatrical, Nanny-worthy sigh. “Go ahead, then.”

“Don’t overthink what you’re feeling, like you do everything else. Just…accept what is. Sleep with the man. Enjoy him, his company. Have a little grown-up fun for once. God knows, you deserve it.”

Back in my car, her words echoed in my head. There was no mistaking the longing I’d seen flit by in Frayne’s gaze when he saw me. And last night had proved he desired me.

Man, oh, man, had it.

But was it enough?

I wanted children and a life partner. For almost twenty years, I’d been married to a man who’d told me he wanted all those things as well, until an argument forced the truth out of him.

I could admit Mac Frayne touched a space in my heart, even before we’d slept together. I wasn’t naïve enough to equate sex with love, though. What we’d shared had been wonderful and freeing, but I wanted to be loved, too. To be in love, and have my love returned.

As I pulled up to Seldrine’s house, my head started to pound, and I gave myself a mental shake. Maureen was right. I needed to stop overthinking everything and live in the here and now. Enjoy the moment and the man in it.

Why that was so difficult for me was the question.