Chapter 19

I’d forgotten what a powerful force of nature Leigh James could be. I think she was made more so, postpartum.

The moment she laid eyes on the artifacts in my dining room, her eyes narrowed, and I swear I could hear her brain working and calculating while she went into command mode. Within an hour, I had a professional moving company in my house, boxing each item up with more care than Nanny had ever taken, to be sure. I’d been correct when I’d told Frayne Leigh would appreciate his help and insights with the discovery. As the workman wrapped, packed, and stored each item with infinite precision, Leigh peppered Frayne with questions about the information in the journals, each article of clothing, the timeline he’d written, even his trip to Richmond. I might have been designated the keeper of the keys by the historical society, but I was a lowly drone compared to Leigh. She was the queen bee, the high holy prefect of the entire museum and all its relics.

They worked late into the evening, the packers included, to get everything ready for removal to the museum’s laboratory, where each item would be examined by a licensed archivist and antiquarian, and then by the insurance adjustors on the museum’s board. While speaking with Frayne, Leigh had called a handwriting expert she’d worked with and made arrangements for him to view Robert’s and Josiah’s journals immediately upon arrival at the museum.

My head was spinning. I’d had no idea the extent of the legal verification necessary for the museum to claim the items were, in fact, true and actual possessions of the Heaven family. I should have known—for obvious reasons—but hadn’t given it much thought, caught up in the discovery and my relationship with Frayne.

When they’d all gone and my house was empty again, my dining room resembled a tornado in the aftermath. Frayne left at the same time as Leigh to follow the truck back to the museum. He’d given my arm a squeeze before leaving and had promised to call or text me. I’ll be honest, I was disappointed he’d left. Selfishly disappointed because I’d hoped he’d stay the night as he had prior to his Richmond trip.

Life the next week shunted back to what it had been prior to our becoming lovers. The house slipped into hollow emptiness again with Robert’s belongings now at the museum and Frayne no longer around to do his research. I’d hoped he’d come around in the evenings, maybe join me for dinner, but he hadn’t. Sporadic texts about the busy work of cataloguing and authenticating every item hit up my phone. Gone were the nightly texts telling me he missed me that I’d grown used to.

When I’d had lunch with my sisters one afternoon at the inn, Maureen shared with me Frayne had become a bit of a ghost guest. He’d leave for the museum right after breakfast every day, and when he returned, he’d sequester himself in his room, the sound of his typing on his laptop evident through the door. That he was focused and intent on the project was something I’d admired in the beginning when we’d met. I still did, but his dedication came at a cost to our budding relationship, and I couldn’t help but feel ignored.

Work got me through the loneliness, though, as it had in the past. Several family court appearances and a few adoptions filled my days and my mind.

A phone call one morning had me gearing up for a court date on a day I hadn’t been scheduled to appear.

I met with my young client and his grandmother before he was brought in and prepared a quick argument in my head. After the preliminaries were done, I happened to glance toward the back of the courtroom. Frayne stood, watching me. For a brief moment, I lost the train of my argument but was able to get the train back on the proverbial tracks a moment later after a deep breath and readjustment of my papers.

When Asa handed down his decision, I bid my clients a quick goodbye and told them I’d be in touch. Frayne was standing outside the courtroom, his hands in his jacket pockets, a familiar expression on his face.

“This a surprise,” I said by way of greeting.

A deep breath elevated his shoulders and did nothing to wipe away his scowl.

“What’s wrong? You look furious.”

His eyes narrowed. “What I am is disgusted with the entire system you represent.”

Oh, Lord. Not again.

Bracing myself, I asked, “Why?”

“I can’t believe you even need to ask—”

“Humor me. Please.”

His lips twisted, his scowl deepening. “Because the law is geared toward protecting and coddling the criminals, the lawbreakers, not the innocent victims. That boy”—he jerked a thumb over his shoulder toward the room I’d exited—“stole something, and he’s being slapped on the wrist and given a do better the next time, son. It’s disgraceful. There’s no accountability for any kind of behavior anymore in this society.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No. How long where you in there?”

“Long enough.”

“So did you hear me say Dylan is an honor student and a varsity basketball player who’s never been in trouble before? For anything?”

“So what? He still broke the law. Just because he’s been a good kid doesn’t mean he hasn’t turned into a bad one.”

“Wrong.” I stabbed my finger at his chest. “He’s not a bad kid. Circumstances led him to do something he’d never have considered a month ago. Hell, a week ago.”

“Oh please. He made a choice—a bad one—and got caught.”

“Because he needed the money.” My voice started to rise, and it took me a second to pull back and collect myself. “Not everything is black and white in the world, you know. Good people do bad things when faced with impossible choices. They shouldn’t all be drawn and quartered as punishment.”

He put a hand up to halt me. “Save it. I have no desire to hear any bleeding heart arguments right now.”

For the first time in my life, I understood what the phrase seething with anger really meant. I literally saw a red haze form in front of my vision.

Lowering my tone to the pitch Colleen calls scary-sister-you’d-better-run voice, I ground out the words I wanted to scream at him. “Too bad, because you’re gonna listen to what I have to say.” He opened his mouth, but I steamrolled right over him. “His parents are opioid addicts and abandoned him last year. His grandmother, the only living relative he has who isn’t drug addled is in the process of gaining legal guardianship of him, which is why they’re my clients. A few weeks ago, Dylan’s mother broke into her mother’s home and stole a great deal of money from her, money needed to pay the rent on the small apartment she and Dylan are living in. She’s sixty-seven and survives on Social Security and a minuscule pension. Money is beyond tight, and add a growing teenage boy who needs to be fed, clothed, and housed into the mix, a boy who plans to attend college to better his life, and the theft left them in a dire situation. Dylan was terrified they were going to be evicted, and he did something stupid to try to help with the rent—”

“Stupid is the right word.”

“—and make sure they could stay where they were, safe and warm and not put out on the freezing sidewalk with nowhere to turn. He did it because he loves his grandmother and was afraid.”

Frayne swiped his hand in the air dismissively. “Sugar coat it anyway you want. What he did was wrong—”

“And he’s going to pay for it. He’s being held accountable for his actions, but one mistake shouldn’t be used to prevent him from attaining his future goals. He’s a good kid. He’s got the potential to go far in life.”

It was as if I hadn’t spoken.

“You said pretty much the same thing about Josiah Heaven. I don’t understand why lawyers are willing to excuse heinous behavior, shove it to the side, without anyone ever having to face consequences. You all bend facts to fit scenarios, let criminals go free when they should be incarcerated because of dumb mistakes and poor police work. You make plea deals that serve no justice. The judicial system in this country is an aberration and a joke. Thieves get to steal with abandon, murderers walk free with no thought of the consequences of their actions.”

People passing by stared as Frayne’s voice rose with each sentence. All the aggravation lacing his words had a beginning point from the moment his wife and daughter were killed. I knew it, but I also knew I couldn’t allow him to simply paint every single defendant and lawyer with a corrupt and contemptible label. In truth, I was sick of having to defend myself and my profession.

“You know,” I said, “I wonder how high and mighty you’d be if you’d ever made a mistake, ever made a choice that turned out to be a wrong one. Would you really be as contemptuous of the entire judicial system if you were falsely accused of something or if you were hanging out to legally dry because of your actions? I’d bet lawyers and the system wouldn’t look so abhorrent the moment you realized having them could save your ass from sitting in a jail cell.”

His face turned the color of chalk as I spat the words at him. I was tired, furious, and had had enough belittling comments about my job to last me a lifetime.

I turned at a sudden presence behind me to find Lucas, his thumbs tucked into his pants waistband. His shoulders were relaxed, and he was rocking back on his heels, a bland look on his face. A stance signaling he was calm and untroubled and which I knew meant he was anything but. Lucas was never as deadly focused and primed as when he appeared tranquil and composed.

“Everything okay here, Counselor?”

“Peachy.”

He cocked his head at me while his brows rose. “Okay. I need to talk to you about something.”

“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll meet you downstairs,” I told him.

He threw a stern warning glare at Frayne, then his gaze shot back to me. With a curt head bob, he walked away.

I waited a beat before turning my attention back to Frayne. His bare hands were fisted at his sides, his shoulders hugging his ears. The stiff posture was a good indication of how furious he was.

In a much lower, less lethal tone, but one still forged in steel, I said, “Look. There’s nothing I can say that’ll ever change your opinion of the legal system or lawyers. After everything you’ve said, I finally realize that.”

His gaze raked my face, his brows drawn so tight together, it was a wonder he didn’t have a headache from the tension.

“So I’m done trying. Now, why are you here?”

I don’t know if he was surprised I wasn’t arguing with him any longer, or if the awareness of people staring and listening to our exchange as they went about their business in the courthouse filtered through him. Whatever the reason, he relaxed his shoulders and flexed his neck from side to side. The jagged breath he inhaled told me how much pulling for calm was costing him.

“I’m leaving,” he said.

“Oh.”

As far as responses went, it was about as pathetic as they come.

He was going home. Going back to his life, back to his world. I shouldn’t have been surprised or upset about it. I had, after all, told my sisters he would.

Somehow, in the back corner of my mind, I’d hoped he wouldn’t. I’d hoped he’d…stay. With me. For me.

“When?” I asked, thankful my voice continued to remain calm and cool.

“Right now. Something’s come up at home and needs my immediate attention.”

I nodded, not sure of how else to respond. I knew what I wanted to say, what my heart was begging me to say. How I wanted him to see me for the woman I was and not the profession I worked in. How he’d awakened my heart and soul again when I’d locked it away after Danny’s death. I needed him to hear what he meant to me, how much I wanted to be with him, how precious he’d become to me. He needed to know he could stay with me for a night, a day, or forever if he wanted.

And I desperately wanted to tell him I loved him, but the fear that he didn’t reciprocate that love stopped the words from releasing. The unemotional way he’d come to tell me he was leaving was all the proof I needed that he didn’t feel for me what I did for him. Not even close. The dispassion in his voice, the cool glaze in his eyes, all confirmed it. If he’d ever felt something for me, it sure wasn’t strong enough to compete with his disdain for my lawyer status.

“Everything at the museum is completed?”

“Almost. Dr. James has it under control. She doesn’t need my help.”

We were as stiff and awkward as two strangers meeting for the first time under less than perfect circumstances.

I swallowed the tears bubbling up from deep inside, shoved them back down, and held them there with all my will. I wouldn’t cry in front of this man. He wouldn’t see me break.

“Okay. Well…I guess this is goodbye, then.” Ever Nanny’s dutiful oldest granddaughter, I offered him my hand.

His gaze dropped to it, then dragged back up to meet mine. Those corrugations on his forehead returned, and the corners of his eyes slitted as he cocked his head.

Ignoring my hand, he took a step in closer. “Cathy, I—”

I took two back.

He stopped short, head jerking back as if I’d slapped him. The bulge at his throat bobbed as he swallowed, the color in his cheeks losing a little more shade. His gaze held mine as he lifted his hands in an I-give-up gesture and stepped back.

“I wanted to…tell you…say…thank you…for everything. I—I couldn’t have done this without you. Without your help.”

“My grandmother was more helpful than I was,” I said. “She was the one who told you about Robert’s things. She’s the one you should thank.”

“I already have.”

Okay, this was news.

“I went to the nursing home yesterday and brought her lunch from Maureen. We talked for a couple of hours, actually. She’s delighted all the stuff she kept of Robert’s is actually going to be displayed in the museum. She thinks he’d be pleased to have his personal possessions added to the collection.”

I’d bet cash money she was right about that.

“Thank you for that. And for visiting her. I know she appreciates the company.”

He rocked back on his feet, the uncomfortable, tense silence returning.

We stood there, staring at one another.

I was the one who finally broke. “Well, I don’t want to keep Lucas waiting, so I’ll say good-bye again. I’m looking forward to reading the book. Get home safe and sound.”

I didn’t put out my hand this time.

“Cathy.”

I waited. He continued to stare at me, something remarkably like regret filling his eyes.

But for what was the question.

“I don’t want to leave this way.”

“What way?”

“With you angry and upset. It wasn’t my intention.” He blew out a breath. “When I heard the case you were presenting, it, well…it brought back everything again.”

“I can’t and won’t change what I am, what I do for a living, because it makes you uncomfortable,” I said.

“No. I know that. I’m not asking you to. It…it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

He shoved his hands into his bomber jacket and dropped his chin to his chest. A few minutes ago, he’d been a fierce force of anger. Right now he was ravaged by sorrow and remorse. I desperately wanted to comfort him, take him in my arms, and tell him everything was going to be okay.

But I knew it wasn’t. As long as he couldn’t get past his loathing of the system I’d dedicated my life to, there was no way things were ever going to be okay between us.

“For what it’s worth,” I said, “I’m not angry. I’m just…disappointed.”

He lifted his chin, those piercing crystal eyes filled with sadness.

“Good-bye, Mr. Frayne.” I turned, stalked away from him, and never looked back.