Louisiana State University
Baton Rouge
Freshman year, 1995
LANE OPENED the door to the dorm room and went in.
Matt lay stretched out on his bed with some guy crouched between his legs, blowing him.
“Holy shit!” Lane yelped and froze, unable to look away.
If he’d thought Matt was gorgeous before, Matt getting head was even better. How could someone look so sexy? Matt pressed his hand down on the back of the guy’s head as it bobbed up and down on his stiff shaft.
He opened his eyes, glanced at Lane, and laughed. “Sorry, dude. I’m sort of busy.”
“I can s-s-s-see that.” Lane gulped, then stared at the floor as if he’d never seen it before in his life.
“Give me a few, huh?” Matt husked out, then groaned.
Lane nodded like a bobblehead doll and backed out of their room, pulling the door shut behind him. He leaned against the wall to catch his breath and wait for his heart to stop beating and his boner to go down.
He ran his fingers through his hair and decided this was the last straw. He had to say something, because, goddamn, he just couldn’t take walking in on Matt and one of his hookups one fucking more time.
It killed him.
Matt had never made a move on Lane, no matter how many opportunities Lane gave him. Granted, Lane didn’t have too many slick moves, not unless you counted getting undressed, or sitting too close to Matt on his bed, or giving him long, goofy looks.
They’d been sharing the room since the last semester, and if he wanted to keep both Matt for a roomie and his sanity, something had to change.
Like Matt letting Lane kiss him or suck him.
Fat chance that would happen.
All Matt’s guys were the complete opposite of Lane in looks and probably in brains. Lane knew better than Matt did what Matt’s “type” of man was, and Lane wasn’t it.
No one thought Lane was his type. He’d spent the last few months trying to flirt with various guys but hadn’t had a single hit. Talk about a loser.
Maybe he came off as too desperate.
Maybe the minute he opened his mouth, the stutter killed any opportunity he might have had.
Maybe he was a toad.
Really, his looks weren’t so bad, but there just wasn’t anything sexy about him. Longish, straight, plain brown hair, brown eyes, small in stature, and no muscles to speak of. Lane figured with all the hot guys he’d seen around campus, he was the least hot of them all.
The door opened, and Matt and the guy came out.
“Thanks, dude.” Matt grinned.
“My pleasure, Matt.” The other guy winked and turned away, only for Matt to swat his ass as he left.
“Matt.” Lane’s tone meant business. He followed Matt back inside the room, tossed his backpack on his bed, and put his hands on his hips.
“What?” Matt stretched out on the bed, hands behind his head, grinning.
“You know what.”
“Hey, you knew I was gay.” He shrugged.
“But I didn’t know you were a slut.” Lane’s tone was all snark. Jesus, Joseph, and Mary, Matt drove him nuts and brought out his “inner bitch” faster than anyone.
“Hey, I’m just figuring this whole gay thing out as I go. You wouldn’t understand, Lanie.” There it was again, the tone that said You’re such a baby.
It riled him up, made him so mad he could spit.
That was it.
“I do understand, you asshole. I’m gay too,” Lane blurted out.
Matt stared at him, eyes wide. Then he laughed. Slap your thigh, roll on the floor laughing.
Tears sprang to Lane’s eyes as he reeled from his best friend’s callousness.
Matt stopped in midlaugh and sat up. “Hey, Lanie, what’s going on? Is this for real?”
Lane nodded, afraid to speak. He couldn’t control his stutter when he got emotional.
“You’re really gay?” Matt grimaced. “Since when?”
Lane slumped onto his bed. “Since high school.”
Matt took it in, processing the data; Lane knew that look.
“When I moved in?”
“Before that.”
“Holy fuck.” Matt ran his hands through his rich ebony curls. “I never knew.”
Lane shrugged. “You were kind of busy.”
Matt got off his bed, came over, and sat next to Lane. “Hey, man, I’m sorry I laughed. Why didn’t you tell me?”
If Lane hadn’t known better, he’d swear Matt was mad at him.
And wasn’t that just fucked?
“Because you were living in my house. Because you didn’t want anyone to know about you, so don’t you think I didn’t want anyone to know about me?” Lane looked up into those deep blue eyes he dreamed about and closed his mouth before he said, “Because I’ve been in love with you since forever and didn’t want to get hurt when you rejected me.” Oh well, too late for that.
“Oh yeah, sure. I get it. Your mom and dad would’ve had a cow.”
Lane laughed. “No, they’re cool with it. I told them at Christmas.”
“When we went home?”
Lane always felt a tug on his heart when Matt used the word home when he talked about Lane’s house. It had become his home over the last couple of years, and his parents had become Matt’s mom and dad too.
One big, happy family.
One mom, one dad, one old fat dog, two gay boys.
Oh yeah, that’s the American dream right there.
“Yeah. I told Dad first, then we told Mom. Surprisingly, she didn’t call the priest and have me exorcised.”
Matt hooted, slapping his leg at Lane’s joke. “Too bad. Maybe it would’ve worked.”
“Naw, this is the way we are, Matt. There’s no changing, no going back, no do-over.” Lane stood. “So let’s talk about some ground rules for the dorm room, okay?”
“Rules?” Matt frowned, his brows gathering together into one thick dark line.
“Yeah. Look, I’m tired of walking in on you. We need to work out a signal, like when we used the clubhouse.”
“Sure.” Matt brightened. “How about I get one of the signs that says Do Not Disturb?”
“That’ll work.” Lane nodded.
“And you can use it too, if you need to,” Matt added.
Lane looked up. Matt stared at him, waiting, his head cocked to one side as if trying to figure something out.
“Me? What would I need that for?” Lane snorted as he kicked off his sneakers.
“In case you bring someone here, dude.”
Lane kicked his shoes under his bed at little too hard. “Like that’s going to happen.”
Matt, still sitting on Lane’s bed, stared at him. “Why wouldn’t it?”
Lane growled. Was Matt really going to make him admit what a loser he was? Say it out loud? God, sometimes he could be such a jerk. “I’m not exactly prime beef.”
“I think you’re cute.” Matt grinned and winked at him.
Lane’s heart fluttered at the teasing.
“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that.” Lane rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I’ve decided I’m not giving it up on a one-night stand. When I lose my virginity, it’s going to be to someone I love and who loves me.”
Matt stared at Lane for a long time, then nodded. “I hear you. You’re right, Lanie. You deserve the best. Someone worthy of you.” He rubbed his hand on his jeans and bit his bottom lip. “Look, I need to get going or I’ll be late for work.”
“Sure. Are you going to come back tonight?” Matt worked at an all-night grocery store, and sometimes he’d take the graveyard shift for extra money, even though Lane’s parents were helping both of them with their tuition. Matt had promised to pay them back, and he’d always worked hard, even as a teenager.
“Should be.” Matt grabbed his jacket and snatched up the keys to the car they shared. “You don’t need the car, do you?”
“Nope. Nowhere to go.”
“Great! See you later.” And before Lane could blink, Matt had left.
Lane unbuttoned his shirt and glanced at the clock. Seven o’clock on a Thursday night. Not exactly date night, but Matt had managed to score a hookup.
There was only one thing for Lane to do. This Friday night, he would get a date if it killed him. And bring him home. Maybe make out on his bed.
Maybe Matt wouldn’t like it so much if he walked in on Lane and some guy.
Lane stripped off his jeans and crawled into bed. He pulled open the drawer to his nightstand and got out the lube. His cock, ready and raring to go, ached, and the first sliding touch of his slicked hand eased some of it.
What Lane needed was someone else to do this, to touch him, not just his own hand. What he needed was a boyfriend.
Closing his eyes, he made his own personal pinky swear.
He would start dating, find someone to bring home, and use that stupid Do Not Disturb sign.