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Before I know what I’m doing, my arm is sweeping across the top of the small fridge, knocking chip bags, candy bars, granola packets out of the way. A terrible growl builds in my throat and tears through my lips. My clenched fists shake at my side. The tendons at my neck stand like ropes. My ears are full of something—rage? horror?—and feel as if they’re about to erupt like tiny volcanoes.
Tauro is in the room in an instant, barely making any noise as he rushes into the cabin. I sense him out of the corner of my eye as he joins the shadows that quickly whirl to life in the wake of my distress.
My mother didn’t give birth to me.
My mother didn’t give birth to me.
My mother didn’t give birth to me.
The inane thought runs through my head over and over again.
“Everything okay?” Tauro asks.
“Yes. Please leave, Tauro. Just go!” Luke pushes him out the door.
My head in my hands. I dig my fingernails into my scalp.
Zero percent maternity . . . Zero percent love.
False. Fake. False.
Lives.
Destroyed.
My thoughts jump, avoiding dark hurdles that do their best to trip them. I curse at Azrael, at Luke, at the world. Finally losing it, I whirl, slam my hands against Luke’s chest and send him sprawling backward. He stumbles and conveniently falls on his armchair.
“Monsters! How could you do that?!”
“I was part of their game, too. I didn’t do anything.”
“Why?! Why?!” It makes no sense.
Why would Doctor Dunn impregnate Karen with mismatched embryos? He was supposed to make a couple happy. He was supposed to take the wife’s eggs and the husband’s sperm to make a baby that was all their own. Instead, he used only Karen’s egg to make Luke, and only Dad’s sperm to make me. Where the hell did the rest come from?
“Monsters!” I scream again, this time at Luke’s face, spittle flying from my mouth.
Monsters playing god.
God turning a blind eye.
“Calm down, please.” Luke moves his hands up and down as if I’m a spooked horse.
“Neither one of us should be here. We should have never been.”
Karen and Brian Guerrero wouldn’t have been able to make us. No. The kids they would have made and raised would have been normal and adapted. But they never got a chance. Instead, the once-happy couple became part of a heinous plot that destroyed their lives and crushed any chance at happiness and normalcy without compassion.
“We have no right being here,” I yell, trying my best to reign in my temper, but finding it impossible.
“But we are, Marci, and through no fault of our own. Now we have to make the best of it.” Luke’s own anger begins to rise.
“Is that what you’re doing? Is this your version of making the best of it?!” I demand.
He gives me a defying glance but says nothing.
“Guess what? You’re freakin’ failing!” I growl.
“Not as dismally as you.”
I flip him the bird. “Did Karen know I’m not her daughter?” Suddenly, this seems like a crucial question.
“How should I know?” Luke gets to his feet.
I take a step back, hating how he towers over me. “Dad knew,” I say.
I expect him to look surprised, to ask how Dad learned the truth, but he doesn’t. Instead, he paces to the opposite end of the cabin, a hand pressed to his forehead.
My next realization washes over me like a bucket of ice-cold water. In an instant, my boiling rage disappears, leaving behind nothing but numbness. I collapse on the armchair, tears finally free from the cage I tried to build around them.
“You killed him,” I say in a monotone. “He found out, and you killed him.”
In my peripheral vision, I see Luke turn to face me once more. “I didn’t kill him.”
“You stole his wife from him. You stole his children from him and, finally, you stole his life.”
Dad, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
I bury my face in my hands and cry. The knowledge of his death sweeps through me the way it did the day Karen told me he was never coming back. I feel like a small girl torn apart from the too-few worthwhile things life ever let her borrow. Nothing was ever meant to be mine for very long, not my happy childhood, my father, Xave. It seems Dad and I are the same in more ways than one. Everything was taken from us.
“Maybe this is enough for tonight.” Luke’s voice is quiet and soothing. He sounds closer.
My jaw clenches. My teeth grind. I inhale deeply and squeeze my eyes behind my hands. Emotions burn in my throat, building an impossible knot.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
I don’t want to cry anymore, not in front of him. All I want is to utterly eradicate my capacity to feel anything, so these heartless monsters can never hurt me again. It takes me a few heart-rending moments, but I gather myself and build a thick wall around me. With several deep breaths, I regain my focus and center myself in the now—away from what it was, could have been, and never will be.
I raise my face from my hands and stare at Luke. He’s sitting back in his armchair, regarding me with something that looks like regret, except beasts like him aren’t capable of such feelings. I narrow my eyes at him, understanding things better than ever before.
“Enough?” I say. “But why stop? We haven’t gotten to the best part yet, have we?”
Because the rub is in the why. It has to be. They went through a lot of trouble to make Luke and me. I’m sure everything I’ve heard so far will pale in comparison with whatever he’s yet to say.
“So go on, Luke. Make my day even better.”
“No.” Luke refuses to go on.
“But I thought you were dying to tell me all these wonderful things that would eventually open my eyes. I thought you said you’d make me see things your way. Well, news flash, I still don’t, so don’t stop on my behalf.”
“I knew this conversation would be hard on you, I just didn’t realize how hard. It would be best if we stop and continue tomorrow. It’s late. You must be tired.”
“You were never considerate before. Why start now?”
Luke ignores me and walks to the plane’s entrance. “Tauro, could you come in, please?”
Tauro walks in, ducking his head to avoid impaling the plane with his pointed horns.
“I think we’ve had enough for tonight,” Luke speaks to his henchman in a low, confidential tone, as if he’d like to pretend I’m not here.
Tauro nods.
“Take her to one of the second-floor offices, get her some dinner and post two guards by her door.” The last bit is spoken louder and accompanied by a pointed look in my direction. He expects trouble. Well, the least chance I get, I’ll oblige.
I stand, because I know there’s no point in arguing. Even though I want to forever rip this Band-Aid, the discussion is over for tonight, and it’s my fault. I lost it. I allowed myself to get emotional in front of Luke—a side of me he’d never seen. I was always good at concealing things from everyone. But this new world has torn me open and, now, my insides keep spilling like the stuffing of some ruined teddy bear. Now, all it takes is one good jab in the wrong place, and all my emotions come flying out.
“This way.” Tauro extends a hand to indicate I should walk first.
Nice little butler, I think, but say nothing. I suddenly find myself exhausted and can’t think of anything better than to get away from everyone, even if it is to a locked office with monsters for guards.
I walk ahead of Tauro with firm steps. We get past a few gates, past the relaxed Eklyptors with their phones and casual conversations. My eyes rove around all the faces, hatred ballooning inside my chest. I think of their hearts flattening into thin slivers, but they go on as if I don’t exist.
Then my eyes stop. My feet stop. My lungs stop.
“Keep going,” Tauro says.
But my body is a nail and shock is the hammer.
“What’s the matter?”
I blink and stare at the ground. Tauro regards me for a moment, then begins to turn toward whatever stole my breath. Not knowing what else to do, I let out a loud kiai, jam my elbow in the pit of Tauro’s stomach and take off running.
I don’t get very far before two guys dressed in khaki tackle me. I crash to the floor, bones rattling. But it’s okay, I don’t mind. All that matters is I didn’t give away the fact that I recognized one of their residents.
Aydan is here.