THE NEXT morning, Christophe entered his office and chucked his coat on the sofa across from his desk. He shoved the notes his secretary and friend, Miranda, had given him into his back pocket while he poured himself some coffee. Christophe didn’t even think about them again until after he’d had one full cup of java by the glass window overlooking the city. He took a quiet moment to enjoy the hot liquid, feeling it warm him as it trailed down his throat. It wasn’t that he was useless without the stuff—sometimes he didn’t even bother, especially after he hit the gym—but some mornings it was necessary to give him a little boost.
After pouring a second mug, he pulled the messages out and began his day as Christophe Lafavre, businessman, not Christophe Lafavre, dirty dancer.
The first one was from his brother, wondering why he had a cell phone if he wasn’t going to answer when it rang. Most were people wanting him to find them high-end condos, with a couple notes from the media asking him to do interviews about the current state of the real estate market. The messages from the reporters would go unanswered, for he never liked those long, boring sit-downs. He didn’t like cameras on the best of days. He crumpled the interview requests in his fist and used them to practice his jump shot to the garbage can. Placing his cup on the desk, he grabbed his phone and called Miranda. While he waited for her to enter, he sent his brother a quick text.
Miranda walked in with a notepad and her tablet and sat across from him. “You look tired,” she pointed out.
“There’s an understatement. I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night.”
“Rough night?”
“Something like that.” Christophe exhaled loudly. “Listen. Can you call these people?” He handed over the notes for the potential new clients. “Have them come in and meet with me next week. I’m not even going to try cramming anything else into this week.”
“But you were going to take time off next week,” Miranda reminded him.
“Shit. That’s right. Er…. Okay, have them come in Monday and Tuesday. Then I’ll take the rest of the week and Monday and Tuesday of the next week off.”
“You’re not going to put off this vacation for another year, are you? You’ve been planning it for the last five years, then backing out at the last minute. You keep doing that, you’re going to start looking like me.”
Christophe laughed. “Look like you, eh? Not a downside.”
“Sweet-talker,” she accused with a smile. “But you know what I mean. You’re amazing at what you do, Christophe, but you’re not Superman.”
“Jaswant and I have discussed it, and right now it’s a toss-up between Batman and Optimus Prime.”
Miranda blinked at him, then arched a brow. “Seriously?”
“I know. I know!” He tossed his hands up. “Seriously, I’m taking time. I’ve been exhausted lately so I really don’t have a choice. There’s no putting this off any longer. I’m a firm believer that there is only so far you can push yourself before your body gives up.”
Miranda laughed. “Okay.”
“Have you seen Jaswant?”
“Yeah. He came in early this morning to sign some papers so I could get them in the outgoing mail. I believe he’s meeting with the people from Ecstasy Condos right now.”
“That was today?”
Miranda nodded.
“Dang.”
“Yup, apparently they are putting the entire building in his hands.”
Christophe grinned. “Yeah. He has like the first ten floors sold out already. Jaswant is a pro at this.”
“Oh yeah.”
“When he’s done, can you have him come see me?”
“I will. Is that all for now?”
Christophe nodded, and she left, closing the door behind her. Once he was alone again, he turned on his computer and tried getting some work done. But he could still feel Raj holding him, grinding into him, touching him. Usually he wasn’t a fan of the whole grinding thing, but with Raj—Christophe trembled.
Why was being around this man so different? He’d danced with other men, ground with them on dance floors all over the world. Yet this one man had him all kinds of tied up. It made no logical sense to Christophe, and that was beginning to irritate him.
Everything about Raj, from the way he smelled to the softness of his dark hair, pulled at Christophe, lured him, made him think anything was possible when it came to love and mind-blowing sex. He’d given up on all of that so long ago.
Drinking more coffee didn’t help either, and soon he was standing at the window, tie loosened and arms folded over his chest, staring at the city below him. A soft knock at the door didn’t draw his attention away from the view.
“Come in.”
“Arrey,” Jaswant greeted him.
“Hey,” Christophe replied.
“Okay,” Jaswant dragged out. “What is happening in that head of yours? Whenever you seem this contemplative, something happened.”
“I went to that club last night.”
“Oh yeah?” The sofa creaked beneath Jaswant as he fell onto it. “Well, good. I’ve been trying to get you out of your hermitage for a while now. How was it?”
“I didn’t stay long.”
“You didn’t like it? Chris… talk to me. Did something bad happen?”
“I liked it. I had a great time.”
“Ek minat! Hum kho gaye hain.”
Jaswant had taught him Hindi long ago, but from time to time, Christophe got so upset, his brain took longer than normal to translate it. That irritated him, so he switched to English.
“What’re you confused about?” Christophe took a breath and turned. “How do you think I feel?”
He didn’t see why he was putting so much thought into a random meeting at the bar in a club. It wasn’t like Raj was in it for happily-ever-after. Hell, Raj hadn’t even been into it for the morning after—maybe for the night but then what? Yet the more he tried pushing it out of his mind, the more he wanted to go back, find Raj, and pull him into the men’s room for a little slap and tickle.
That scared Christophe, who was never that kind of man. Even with his inner turmoil, he wasn’t sure it was worth mentioning, but what else was there to do with that experience? Bottling it up was obviously the wrong plan since Jaswant could see right through him.
Hauling in a breath, he unlocked his arms and braced them by his side. “I met someone. I don’t know his name—he just said I should call him Raj. After a quick chat, he bought me a drink and then we were on the dance floor.”
“Yeh achcha hai!”
“I don’t see what’s so good about it. And could you speak English? My brain is too tired to keep translating Hindi.”
“Maa… sorry. But how is meeting someone and dancing with them not a good thing? You haven’t done anything like that in years! It was your chance to unclench a little.”
“Oh,” Christophe muttered. “I unclenched.”
“So, tell me again how that’s a bad thing.”
Christophe pulled up his shirtsleeves and walked around the desk to rest his ass on it. Folding his arms over his chest, he took a deep breath and tilted his head. “Because something happened that hasn’t happened before. I let it and now I don’t know how to look at myself.”
“Would you stop being so fucking evasive or deep or whatever this thing is you’re doing right now? You know I hate it when you do that shit to me.”
“I’m not deliberately being evasive or whatever. I just—I don’t know what to say or how to say it. It’s… this man held me in his arms and the whole world stopped spinning. Each time he touched me, I felt like I was ready to implode, and I don’t even know his real name. Shit. What does that say about me?”
“It says you’re a living, breathing man—that you’re a human being and you want to fuck and be fucked like every other gay man out there.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what do you mean? Like I said, you have to stop talking in circles right now because it is way too early and you’re making me dizzy.”
“I mean, he had me feeling sexy and wanted. That’s what I’ve been searching for this entire time, and for it to come from a man I’ve only known for five minutes terrifies me. How desperate does that make me?”
Jaswant leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and watched Christophe with a slow stare that confused Christophe. He’d known Jaswant almost all his adult life, and this was the first time he’d seen the look.
Then Jaswant rose and grabbed a chair, pulled it to sit before Christophe, and took his hand. “Listen. Time has nothing to do with anything. Did you at least get his number?”
“Right before I ran like a moron, he gave me his Q Messenger info to add him.”
Jaswant smiled, but Christophe took his hand back and eased away from Jaswant. “So you ran away from a man. Naya kya hai?”
“What’s new? You ask that like I do this kind of shit all the fucking time. But I’m going to assume that wasn’t a rhetorical question. What’s new is this man made me feel this—he’s awoken something in me that is confusing, and all you can do is throw it in my face that I’m afraid of commitment?”
“No. I’m not throwing anything in your face. What I meant by that is that you running away from a man is something we’ve seen before, so why let it bother you so much now? That is what I don’t understand. Why is this encounter so different?”
“I want to feel that way again. It’s the kind of sensation I’ve been searching for. Everyone deserves to have that in their lives. I want to feel the same heat tracing every fiber of my being, and I feel like such a fool for leaving the way I did, but I was scared and….”
“Ashamed.” Jaswant’s voice cracked.
“Ashamed, yes.” Christophe licked his suddenly dry lips. “I felt like a slut having this man feel me up on the dance floor, and I lost it.”
Jaswant sighed. “Well, fix it. Now you can get to talk to him without the music and confusion. Now you can get his real name and hopefully his number so you can chat on the phone.”
Christophe trembled. Just the thought of hearing that voice again, low and humming, did something magical to him. Maybe it was his blue balls talking—that had to be it, right? After all, he hadn’t been with someone, sexually, in a while. Whatever the reason, feeling that warm shiver down his spine was amazing and terrifying all at the same time.
He took a breath and nodded. “You’re right. You’re right.”
“So you’ll do it?”
“Haan.”
“Don’t say yes if you’re only doing it because you think that will shut me up. Do this only if you think it’s something—well, someone—who will make you happy.”
“I’m doing it more because I’m curious, and I think the regret of not knowing would hurt more than a letdown.”
“Good.” Jaswant rose. “I have a showing in a couple of hours, but I’m still waiting for the listing agent to confirm. In the meantime I’m going back to looking for a new place. Let me know how it goes, eh?”
“Haan.” Christophe nodded. “Phir milenge.”
“See you later,” Jaswant echoed.
CHRISTOPHE MADE a few business calls, then logged into Q Messenger. He took a breath and typed Raj01 in the Add a Friend box and hit Enter. Mere seconds later, his computer beeped that Raj01 accepted his add. The sound of his heart beating threatened to drive him insane. He sat there, eyeing the screen, a chat box open, ready to type the first words to a man he didn’t really know but knew on such a higher level. There was a green dot beside Raj’s name—he was online, or at least logged in. That thought made Christophe tremble. Wiggling his fingers needlessly, he placed his hands on the keyboard.
Xtof: Hey, Raj.
Raj01: Good morning. Didn’t think I’d hear from you. I’m glad I did, though. I’ve been thinking about you.
Xtof: Didn’t think you’d hear from me either. But I have a friend who always seems to be able to be a bad influence on me.
Raj01: Lol. Sometimes that’s not a bad thing—like in this case.
Xtof: True.
Raj01: How was your night?
Xtof: Sleepless.
Raj01: Not a wink?
Xtof: Nope.
Raj01: What’re you up to?
Xtof: Work.
Raj01: Oh! One word replies. Awesome.
Christophe took a breath and pushed from his seat. Biting a knuckle, he walked to the window and stared out. For a moment he just breathed. That random second was to reel in the feeling as if he was in a race, sending adrenaline pumping through his whole body. When he thought he had it together once more, he returned to the computer.
Raj01: You there? I did it again, didn’t I?
Xtof: Yeah, I’m here. I’m at work and someone walked into my office.
It was a lie, but Raj didn’t need to know that. Besides, that was the beauty of a computer—a person could sit at the keyboard naked with a live chicken and no one would be the wiser.
Raj01: That’s cool. So you had a sleepless night? Think it was only last night? Because if you’d like me to tuck you in tonight so you can sleep better, I’d be happy to.
Xtof: Are you trying to get into my pants, Raj?
Raj01: Lmao! Isn’t it obvious? Damn. I need to try harder then or brush up on my flirting skills. I think I’m getting kind of sloppy in my old age.
Xtof: I wouldn’t exactly say sloppy. Last night was a good try.
Raj01: LOL! In other words, I failed miserably. This courting thing has changed. Either that or I’m out of practice or I wasn’t any good to begin with.
Xtof: lol. An honest man? Wow. Surprises. I thought honesty in a man went the way of the dinosaurs.
Raj01: Only some. Most were wiped out on that bad day the dinos had all those years ago. Others survived and had to evolve.
Christophe laughed out loud.
Xtof: Best secret agents ever!
Raj01: Lmao! So true! Because we don’t even know what they evolved into. Your sense of humor rules.
Xtof: Thanks. I do try.
Raj01: But seriously, I try not to beat around the bush. It takes too much energy to pretend. I want what I want. I figure, if you know right out the gate, it takes away all the awkward confessions later. And the other person can figure out what they want, you know?
Xtof: Makes sense.
Raj01: Sooooo… that’s a no on me tucking you in, then?
Christophe stopped with his fingers hovering over the keyboard. He realized he was smiling, his heart raced, and every part of his body wanted Raj to tuck him in. Shaking his head with a soft laugh, he typed.
Xtof: One-track mind much?
Raj01: lol.
Christophe took a breath and glanced out the window. He’d been enjoying his talk with Raj. In a world alone with Raj, he felt safe and wanted.
Xtof: Well, I’m not easy. You’d have to take me to dinner first.
Raj01: Name the time and place.
Christophe arched a brow. He should have known that was going to come back to haunt him.
Oh for fuck’s sakes! Another Raj-trap!
Xtof: Tell you what… why don’t you call me tonight and we can talk. It’ll be without background music or being in an office where anyone can walk in. It’ll just be you and me.
Raj01: That’s a proposition I can live with. I see what you did there… putting the ball in my court.
Xtof: You like that, huh?
Raj01: Lol—among other things.
Christophe blushed. He gave Raj his number, then told him he had to go. Once he closed the laptop, he fought to breathe. He’d just flirted with a man—a man who was still very much a mystery to him. Aside from those thick lips, hard body, and large hands, Christophe didn’t have a clue what Raj looked like underneath that mask or across the Internet. Glancing up at the clock, he sent Jaswant a quick text, then packed up his things. He had two house inspections to get done and then he had an annual general meeting to attend for one of the properties his company oversaw. Once that was finished, he could go home.