Something was wrong. It was true that Rob felt different, but he hadn’t expected that the house would, too.
He’d lost track of time when he’d been inside the church. When he’d first stepped into the sanctuary, his only thought had been that he needed to overcome his anger. It had been more difficult than he’d imagined. At first he’d felt as if he were being torn apart by a force he could not identify. The pastor might have called the force Satan. Rob wouldn’t dispute that, for he knew that whatever the force was, it was evil. He also knew that the anger he’d unleashed on Emily and Deborah had been wrong. Though he’d experienced anger more times than he could count, Rob had never lashed out like that. That had been wrong, oh so wrong.
Rob had hung his head in shame, begging for forgiveness. Gradually as he’d prayed for strength, he’d felt the anger subside. In its place had come the conviction that he had to undo the damage he’d done. Instead of continuing downtown to confront Noah Chapman, Rob had returned to the house that now felt empty.
When he’d come through the front door, Bradford had greeted him normally. It was only when he’d given his hat to the butler that Rob had sensed that something was awry. “Where is …?” He broke off the question when he realized that Bradford had returned to the servants’ quarters. Though he could call him back, there was little to be gained by that. Rob would soon discover whatever was causing his discomfort.
As he entered his study, his eye was drawn to the envelope placed in the middle of his desk. It hadn’t been there when he’d left, of that he was certain. Slipping the sheet of paper from the envelope, Rob frowned. There was no salutation, just blunt words.
I need time to think, Deborah had written. I cannot do that here, and so I have returned to my home. I do not know when or whether I will reside in your home again, but I assure you I will do everything I can to meet the other terms of our agreement.
Rob’s frown deepened at the realization of what he’d done. He’d driven Deborah away. As he’d knelt in the church, he’d known that he’d hurt both her and Emily, but he hadn’t realized the full magnitude of what he’d done. His anger must have reminded Deborah of her brother-in-law and how that man’s fury had escalated into cruelty toward her sister.
No wonder Deborah no longer wanted to share a house with him. Rob couldn’t blame her. His reaction had been extreme. He knew that, just as he knew he needed to apologize and hope she would forgive him. But first he needed to make things right with Emily. He’d hurt her, too.
Less than a minute later, he stood in front of his daughter’s bedroom door and knocked. There was no answer. Though it was still relatively early, Emily might be asleep. Not wanting to disturb her but needing to know that everything was all right, he opened the door. The room was empty.
“Bradford,” Rob shouted as he descended the stairs, “do you know where my daughter is?”
The butler emerged from his quarters, shaking his head. “No, sir. She did not come down for supper. I’ve not seen her since Miss Johnson left.”
Though he feared it would be useless, Rob began to search the house, moving methodically from one room to another while Bradford checked the garden. With each empty room, Rob’s fears increased. There was no question about it. Emily had run away, just as Rachel had done, and it was all his fault.
“What should I do, sir?” Bradford asked when the search was complete and they’d both returned to Rob’s study.
“I don’t know.” Rob sank into his desk chair, wishing he could redo this day. If he had the chance, he would respond far differently to the idea of Noah Chapman courting Emily. But there was no undoing the damage.
When Bradford left the room, Rob buried his head in his hands and began to pray. Moments later, he heard a knock on the front door followed by footsteps. As the footsteps grew louder, he looked up and then rose to his feet.
“Deborah!” he cried, his relief so great it threatened to knock him over. “You came back.”
He looked different, not at all like the angry man he’d been a few hours ago, not even like the man who’d held her in his arms last night and kissed her so tenderly. This was a new Rob Carmichael. The expression in those dark brown eyes told her something had changed, something vital. For the first time since she’d left her home, Deborah felt hope well up inside her.
“We need to talk,” she said, never taking her eyes off the man who’d become such an important part of her life. If he’d changed—truly changed—anything was possible.
“Yes, we do.” Though he did not smile, there was no ignoring the warmth in Rob’s eyes. “There’s so much I want to say, but first we need to find Emily.”
Deborah nodded, the bubble of hope growing with the realization that he’d included her in his statement. Rob was acting as if they were once again partners, as if this afternoon had not occurred. Though she could have interrupted, telling him where his daughter was, Deborah wanted to see what else he would say. His attitude would help her find the correct way to approach him on Emily and Noah’s behalf.
“She’s disappeared,” Rob explained. “I know it’s my fault, but I have to find her and convince her to come back. The problem is, I don’t know where to look.”
He was distraught, worried, and willing to do anything for his daughter. Deborah heard all that in his voice. She also heard a humility that hadn’t been there before. It seemed that whatever had happened to Rob since he’d stormed out of this room had shown him that he wasn’t in control, that he needed help. She offered a silent prayer of thanksgiving.
“You don’t need to worry about Emily’s safety. She’s in my apartment.” When Rob’s eyes filled with relief, Deborah added, “She’s safe, but she’s also very unhappy.”
“That’s my fault.”
“Yes, it is.” She wouldn’t minimize the seriousness of the situation. “Emily wanted your permission to marry Noah, and you refused to even consider that he might be the right man for her. You treated her as if she were a child, incapable of knowing what’s best for her. You hadn’t even met Noah when you made your decision.” Emily hadn’t told Deborah whether Rob had confronted Noah or simply approached his employer, demanding that he be fired.
Rob nodded, accepting the litany of criticism she’d leveled on him. “I still haven’t met Noah. I only made it as far as Church Corner. I’ve been home about ten minutes. The rest of the time was spent on my knees.”
So much made sense now. He was indeed a new man. “That explains the difference.”
Rob blinked, obviously startled by her words. “Is it that obvious? I know I feel different.”
“You look different, too. More at peace.”
“I still have a long way to go.” He stared into the distance for a moment then said, “I’ve done so many things wrong that I don’t know whether I can ever make amends. I hurt my daughter, and I hurt you.” Rob’s frown deepened, but he met Deborah’s gaze as he said, “I realized that the way I acted made you fear me. Believe me, Deborah, I never meant that to happen. I would never hurt you—not knowingly—and yet I did. Can you ever forgive me?”
She nodded slowly then reached out a hand. When he grasped it, she said, “I already have. You’re not the only one who spent time in prayer. I realized that I overreacted to your anger. Everything I saw was colored by what had happened to my sister, so I thought the worst of you. That was wrong. I hope you can forgive me for not seeing beyond my fears.”
She swallowed, encouraged by the understanding she saw reflected in Rob’s eyes. “God helped me realize that anger is part of life. It doesn’t always spiral out of control. In my heart, I know that you’re not like Adam. You’re a good man.”
For the first time since she’d entered the room, a smile touched the corners of Rob’s mouth. “Thank you. I’m not sure I deserve that praise, but I want to live up to it.” He drew Deborah closer, his eyes once again solemn as he asked, “How do I undo the hurt I caused Emily? I love her. You know that.”
Deborah looked into his eyes, hoping he’d accept what she was about to say. “Sometimes love means letting go. It’s not easy. As Emily’s parent, it’s only natural you want to protect her, but she’s grown up. What she needs now is guidance, not rules and restrictions.”
Rob nodded. “How do I start?”
“Give Noah a chance.”