HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME… HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME…
Jaclyn shifted on the office couch, trying to curl into a tight enough ball to fit beneath her coat. It was cold, and she was still wet. Why hadn’t she thought to bring a blanket? Mentally she went through the contents of Cole’s closets, trying to remember if he had any spare bedding, but drew a blank. He didn’t buy a lot of extras because he only used his bedroom, the kitchen and his private office. The other rooms were empty.
What a miserable birthday. She hadn’t thought she’d be able to top last year’s, but this one was worse. An uncomfortable dinner where she felt as if she was being held hostage by her ex, followed by an enraging argument, then a tromp through the rain to lie on a cold leather couch until morning.
She thought of Cole sleeping peacefully in his bedroom just a few feet away, warm beneath a knit blanket and goose-down comforter, and wondered what he’d do if she woke him. She wanted someone to talk to, wanted to pull the day out of the dumps somehow. Or at least borrow a blanket.
Abandoning her coat on the couch, she got up and padded quietly down the hall to Cole’s part of the house. She’d just see how he was sleeping. If he was stirring, she’d let him know she was here. If he wasn’t, she wouldn’t disturb him.
His door stood slightly ajar, but Jaclyn couldn’t hear anything coming from inside. Was he home? His car was outside.
She slipped into the room and froze, squinting to make out his form in the rumpled blankets.
He sat up suddenly and she nearly screamed when their eyes met.
“Jaclyn, is it you?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to wake you, but…”
“It’s okay.” He paused. “What are you doing here?”
Jaclyn didn’t really want to go into it. She didn’t want to think about Terry or real life or anything else right now. “I—I had to leave home without my clothes.”
“What about the kids?” he asked, obviously shocked.
“Terry’s there.”
He shoved a hand through his hair. “That explains it. He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
She drew a deep breath. He’d hurt her in too many ways to count but, again, she didn’t want to go into it. “It’s just more of the same. He insisted on taking me out for my birthday. Then…then I couldn’t get him to leave.”
“I can make him leave.” He sounded angry.
“No, I…I don’t want to be there right now.”
“I’m glad you came. Are you tired?”
“Not really.”
“Are you cold?”
She nodded. “I was hoping to borrow a blanket so I can sleep on your couch.”
“I’ll give you this one. Do you want to take the bed?”
Not after everything she’d been through with Terry. Taking Cole’s bed would be far too intimate. “No, the couch is fine.”
“Okay, let’s get you settled.”
Taking some of the bedding with him, he led her to the couch where he wrapped the still-warm comforter around her. But he didn’t let her go. His hands lingered on her arms as he gazed down into her face. “It doesn’t sound like you had much of a birthday.”
“No,” she admitted.
“I’m sorry.”
Her gaze rested on his lips. He was so close… “Somehow I’m feeling much better.”
Leaning toward her, he whispered, “I’m glad.” Then his mouth brushed hers.
Jaclyn could tell he was trying to read her, trying to make sure his advances were welcome. She’d had a bad night; he didn’t want to make it worse. But it was his presence, his kiss that was making it all better. Lifting on her tiptoes, she tilted her head back in anticipation.
He smiled at her eagerness before his mouth met hers for the second time.
Jaclyn loved the way he touched her, the way he smelled and tasted. “You taste good,” she breathed. “Really good.”
“So do you,” he told her with another smile. Then he settled into the couch beside her and cradled her in his arms. “But I think it’s time you got some sleep. Sounds like tonight was eventful enough already.”
She snuggled closer, somehow content despite all that’d happened. “Cole?” She had to battle the fatigue that weighed down her eyelids just to get his name out, but she managed.
“What?” he responded.
“I’ve never felt like this before.”
His lips brushed her temple. “Neither have I.”
Cole stretched, lingering somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness. He felt great, even sleeping on the uncomfortable office couch. With Jaclyn curled beside him, he hated to move. He certainly didn’t want to waste the opportunity to savor the feeling of her in his arms. But he was hungry.
He’d take her to breakfast, he decided. And after that he’d buy her a birthday present.
Just as he was trying to decide whether to wake her or continue to enjoy watching her sleep, someone started banging like a madman on the door leading to the house.
Jaclyn stirred. “What is it?”
“It’s got to be Chad,” he told her. “He’s the only one who goes to that door. He probably lost his key so he’s trying to rouse me. Keep sleeping. I’ll take care of it and be right back.”
She murmured an assent and burrowed deeper under the comforter. He lingered for a moment, promising himself he’d get rid of Chad right away, then slipped out of the office and closed the door.
When he reached the door, he was especially glad he’d taken the precaution of protecting Jaclyn’s privacy, because it wasn’t Chad.
Terry Wentworth stood on the porch. Behind him, in the street, Alex, Mackenzie and Alyssa were peering through the windshield of their father’s truck.
Cole waved to the kids, purposely keeping things as pleasant as possible, then leaned against the doorjamb to bar Terry from entering. “What’s up?” he asked.
“I want to talk to Jackie.”
If Terry thought Cole was going to embarrass Jaclyn by dragging her to the office door wearing her flannel nightgown, he was crazy. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”
“Why not? I know she’s here.” He pointed to Jaclyn’s sedan. “That’s her car, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but she’s sleeping.”
Terry’s hands curled into fists. “In your bed?” he asked, his voice grating low.
Cole studied him for a moment, running through the possibilities of where this conversation might lead. “Do you really want to know?”
“I want to see her.”
“You can leave her a message if you want.”
“A message? Who do you think you are? I have her kids in the car. Now let me talk to her!”
Cole stood up straight and stepped outside, closing the door behind him. He had several inches and a few pounds on Terry, and he wanted him to know it. “The way I look at it, they’re your kids, too, Terry,” he said, keeping his voice low. “And this is your weekend. I suggest you follow the plan and head to Feld. You can talk to Jaclyn when you get back.”
Terry’s eyes narrowed. “I’m going to be busy this weekend. I don’t think I can take the kids.”
So Terry wanted to play games, did he? “No problem. Send them in. I’ve been wanting to take Alex to the stock car races. Maybe we’ll go tonight,” he said. Then he smiled benignly as he watched Terry sift through his options. If he took the kids, Jaclyn and Cole would be alone. If he didn’t take the kids, Cole would have his ex-wife and his children for the weekend.
Apparently Terry decided to cut his losses.
“No, I’ll manage.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Whatever you’ve got going with Jaclyn, it won’t last,” Terry told him. “Maybe I’ve been stupid and chased her right into your arms, but she’ll come back to me eventually. You’ll see.”
“Maybe,” Cole said. “But until then, you need to understand something. She’s not alone anymore. You mess with her, you’re going to be messing with me.”
Stiff with rage, his hands still bunched into fists, Terry glared at him, but Cole was no longer worried that he’d start throwing punches. Terry liked better odds. If he was going to fight, he would have done it last weekend when he had friends to help him.
“Is that some sort of threat?” Terry asked.
“Take it how you want to,” Cole told him. “I’ve never liked a bully.”
Alex honked the horn, and Terry threw an irritated glance over his shoulder. “This isn’t over yet,” he promised.
“Your kids are waiting,” Cole said, but it wasn’t until a few seconds later, when Chad pulled up, that Terry finally stalked away.
JACLYN WOKE UP SCARED. She was lying on Cole’s couch, with only a nightgown to wear home. And she knew she’d made a big mistake by making such a statement by coming here, one that would cost her dearly. What had she been thinking when she’d slipped into Cole’s room? That she could somehow escape the heartbreak loving a man like him would bring? That she could declare her preference, kiss him, fall asleep in his arms, and it wouldn’t change anything, that morning would come and everything would be just the same as it always was? Already things were different. She was different. How could she be the same after letting her guard down to a man who could mean the whole world to her if she let him?
What am I going to do?
She listened to the hum of two male voices as Cole spoke with someone outside. She couldn’t hear what was being said, but she could easily picture Cole—the way he talked, the way he stood.
What a fool I am. She’d allowed herself to fall in love with the wrong man—again. A man who didn’t want marriage or kids.
She must have been completely mad to come here.
But that didn’t mean she had to let the situation get any worse, did it? She’d gone through too much in the past year to tumble into the same pit she’d just climbed out of.
Scrambling off the couch, she tiptoed closer to the door. She couldn’t tell who was with Cole, but she knew they were outside, probably in the driveway. Should she simply sneak out the back, wait until the coast was clear and drive away? She could show up for work on Monday as usual, pretend she’d never said what she did last night. And why not? Cole didn’t want anything long-term. He would probably be happy she wasn’t being too clingy.
Only, sneaking away seemed so cowardly. Wouldn’t it be better to face him? Apologize for coming here and move on?
Of course. They were adults. They could handle this maturely.
The front door opened and closed, and Jaclyn heard Cole’s footsteps in the hall. Throwing her shoulders back, she told herself she could fix things, get back on track. She had to.
“Hey, you’re up.” He smiled as soon as he saw her. Barefoot and still in his pajamas, with his hair standing up in places, he had a day’s growth of beard on his jaw—and she could too easily picture seeing him like this every morning for the rest of her life, which scared her to death.
“Chad stopped by, but I got rid of him. You hungry?”
Something about the look on Jaclyn’s face must have given her away, because his smile faltered. “Is something wrong?”
She cleared her throat. “No, not really. Um, it’s just that…I’ve got to get going. I’ve got a lot to do today.”
He’d been walking toward her as though planning to put his arms around her or kiss her good-morning or something, but at her words, he froze several steps away. “You’re leaving? Already?”
Jaclyn licked her lips. “Yeah, you know, it’s Saturday.”
“That’s why I thought you might be able to stay. The kids are in Feld with Terry. I wanted to take you out to breakfast.”
“Not today.”
Doubt entered his eyes, and his smile disappeared completely. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” She tried a smile of her own and prayed it looked more convincing than it felt. “It’s just that it’s time to get back to reality, don’t you think?”
“Get back to reality? Last night wasn’t real?”
“It was real,” Jaclyn said, plucking nervously at her nightgown. “But it shouldn’t change anything.”
“How could it not change anything?”
“It was no big deal. Just a couple of friends comforting each other.”
“But you said… You seriously believe that?”
She nodded resolutely. “I have to.”
He looked around as though he was so surprised he didn’t know how to respond. “I’m afraid I can’t agree with that. I thought kissing you, holding you all night, was the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced,” he said softly.
Something clamped down on her insides and wouldn’t let go, but she refused to acknowledge the hurt. It was better to bear up under the pain and do what had to be done to get over it, than to let any hopeful feelings linger. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
“So what am I supposed to do now?” he asked. “Pretend our relationship didn’t change last night?”
“I’m sorry if what I said misled you—”
“I’m not accusing you of anything. I just expected…I don’t know. That you meant it.”
“I don’t know what I want anymore,” she said. “Maybe it would be better if I just go.”
“Wait.” He caught her arm as she tried to slip past him. “Is this about your job? Are you afraid I’ll fire you if things go wrong between us on a personal level?”
“Partly,” she admitted. “I can’t risk losing my job, Cole. It’s all I have right now.”
“But I’d never leave you high and dry. You know that, don’t you?”
Wouldn’t he? Could she trust that? Jaclyn remembered the promise she’d made to herself the night she found Terry’s truck outside Maxine’s—I will never let myself become so dependent on another human being again—and knew better than to believe him. She had to keep her promise to herself. That was the only safe way to go.
“I appreciate what you’ve done for me, Cole,” she said. “I hope you know that. You’re a generous man. But I won’t need you to cover for me much longer. I’ve started my real-estate classes and will have my license in a month or two. Then no one will be able to leave me high and dry, because I’ll be just fine on my own.” She gently extricated her arm from his grasp. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
COLE RAN A HAND through his hair and sank down on the bed. What had just happened? Last night he’d thought he and Jackie Wentworth were going to start seeing each other. He’d awakened happy, content, eager to spend more time with her.
And this morning? She’d just told him she didn’t want anything to do with him.
Had he done something wrong? Had she heard what he said to Terry and grown angry over it? She hadn’t mentioned her ex-husband. She hadn’t even indicated she knew he’d stopped by. But Cole couldn’t figure out what else could have changed in the ten minutes he was gone from the room.
Trust. She obviously had a problem with trust, and after what had happened with Terry, Cole could understand why. He was tempted to try to convince her he was different, that he’d never hurt her the way Terry had, but his own track record wasn’t anything to be proud of. What could he really offer her? She had three children, and he didn’t want to marry.
“She’s right. I’m no good for her,” he told himself aloud. Laura had needed more than he could give, and he’d let her go gracefully. He could do the same for Jaclyn? But when he stood, all the memories of the night before came tumbling back—I’ve never felt this way before—along with the overwhelming sense of connection he’d felt with Jaclyn—and he knew this time was going to be much harder.
IT WAS ONLY SATURDAY night, less than twelve hours since Jaclyn had left, but it felt to Cole like an eternity. He’d already stopped himself from calling her a dozen times or more, and the battle wasn’t over yet. It was only six o’clock. He had the rest of the evening to go, the night that would follow, and tomorrow and the day after….
What was he going to do? He’d never been so consumed with a woman before. He’d tried to occupy his mind with work, tried to take care of some of the things that needed to be done on Rick’s desk, but his heart hadn’t been in it. He’d been more concerned with the fact that Jaclyn was probably sitting in her house, as alone as he was. The kids were still in Feld. There was nothing to stop them from seeing each other again. So why was he helping her turn him away? He couldn’t remember anymore. He kept telling himself that it was better for her, but he could no longer say why.
Picking up the telephone, he dialed her number. Then he rocked back in his leather chair and stared unseeingly at the painting on the wall opposite him, waiting for her to answer.
Her voice came across the line following the third ring. Just the sound of it caused Cole’s breath to catch. “Jaclyn?”
She paused. “Hi, Cole.”
“What’re you doing?”
“I’ve been studying my Real Estate Principles book.”
“How far along are you?”
“I’ve finished my first two open-book tests and mailed them off. I just have three more to go. Then I’m finished with the course and can schedule my state test.”
“I have some sample questions you can study beforehand. They’ll help you more than the course will.”
“Great. I’ll have to remember to bring them home with me.”
I could bring them over right now, if you’d like, he thought, and nearly said so, but he wanted to get some idea of how she was feeling toward him first. Last night had definitely spooked her. He was hoping now that she’d had some time to think things over, she’d be more open to continuing their relationship.
Cole took a deep breath. “So what are you doing tonight?”
“I thought I’d go to bed early, get some sleep.”
“It’s only six o’clock.”
“I was planning to study a little more first.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Not yet.”
“What if I said I’d like to take you to dinner?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
She paused. “It would only set us up for more hurt than we’re feeling after last night,” she said. Then the phone clicked and the line went dead.
LAYING HER HEAD on her arms, Jaclyn gave in to the tears that had threatened all day. Damn Terry for teaching her such hard life lessons. And damn Cole for making her want to forget everything she’d learned.
She’d probably have to find a new job now. How could she continue to see Cole every day? How could she expect to move on with her life when she was so stuck on the wrong man?
Maybe she should take a look at the want ads, she thought. Make a clean break of it. Now that she was getting her real-estate license, she could probably get by waiting tables for a few months. Then she could continue with her original plan to sell houses. Either way, she’d eventually get where she wanted to be if she worked hard and was smart about it. Margaret might even be able to help her find a job; she’d worked at quite a few places.
Jaclyn was just getting up to retrieve the paper, when the doorbell rang. Was it Cole? After their last conversation, she doubted it, but she didn’t want to see anyone else. She considered pretending she wasn’t home, but her car was out in the drive for all to see. She wasn’t going to fool anyone who knew her.
Wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her sweatshirt, she pushed herself away from the table and went to see who was standing on her front porch. A peek through the peephole told her it was Mr. Alder from next door.
“Just what I need,” she muttered, then threw the bolt and opened the door, standing as far back in the shadows as possible, hoping he wouldn’t notice her red-rimmed eyes.
Unfortunately he did notice. And he mentioned it right away. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Are the kids okay?”
“They’re fine. They’re with their father this weekend.”
“Oh.” He hesitated, looking distinctly uncomfortable, then held out the Tupperware containers in his hands. She sometimes had Alex or Mackenzie run some supper over to Mr. Alder to give him a break from frozen dinners. He’d never acted particularly grateful, but her dishes always came back empty and clean.
“Thanks,” she said, and started to swing the door closed.
He stopped her with one bony hand. “The bread pudding was good,” he said. “Just like my wife, Bonnie, used to make.”
Jaclyn raised her brows. A compliment? From Mr. Alder? “I’m glad you liked it.”
“I noticed that Alex’s bike has a flat. Thought maybe you’d put up the garage door so I can fix it.”
“You’re going to fix Alex’s bike?”
“He’s probably been missing it. Haven’t seen him on it for a while.”
It had been three weeks, to be exact. Alex kept asking her to have the tire fixed but he always mentioned it after the bike shop was closed, and Jaclyn couldn’t seem to remember it any other time.
“He has been missing it. I appreciate the help.”
“It’s no trouble,” he said. “You sure nothing’s wrong?”
“Nothing that can be fixed as easily as Alex’s bike,” she said, and went to open the garage before poring through the want ads.