“THERE THEY ARE,” Mackenzie cried, pointing at Grandpa and Grandma Wentworth and Terry sitting together in the bleachers overlooking the indoor soccer field.
The Wentworths hadn’t yet spotted them coming in the door. Burt was actually smiling for a change, and saying something to Dolores, who was nodding in agreement. Even Terry seemed to be in good spirits.
Jaclyn suspected that would soon change.
Hauling in a deep breath, she slipped her hand in Cole’s, looking for the alliance and support she’d known when they visited Feld. Here we go, she thought.
At her touch, Cole glanced at her in surprise. Until tonight, they hadn’t spoken since she’d left Perrini Homes. They hadn’t so much as brushed up against each other since her birthday. But he didn’t seem to mind the liberty she’d taken. His fingers curled around hers, warm and strong and comforting.
Alex had already headed to the locker room to join his teammates, but Alyssa and Mackenzie raced ahead, dodging the other soccer moms and various spectators as they climbed the stands to greet Terry and his folks.
“Is something wrong?” Cole murmured, leading Jaclyn up behind them.
Jaclyn kept her eyes on Burt, or what she could see of him around Cole’s broad shoulders, waiting for him to notice their approach. Excited and strangely empowered, she was frightened, too. Was she crazy to provoke her ex-father-in-law? Probably. But she had to do it for her own self-respect. She wasn’t the same woman she’d been a year ago. She was stronger, more confident. The time had come to let Burt know he hadn’t quelled the fight in her, after all, at least not yet.
“They’re not going to be happy to see you here,” she said.
“I’m not expecting a lot of hugging and kissing.”
“It’s actually more than that. Your presence here is sort of making a statement.”
“What’s the statement?”
The children had reached the Wentworths, and Burt, Dolores and Terry were watching them now. Terry looked grim, troubled. Dolores looked shocked. And Burt was nearly apoplectic.
“Never mind,” Cole muttered. “I think I get it.”
“Look, Daddy, Cole’s here,” Mackenzie said, as they drew even with them, her enthusiasm for Cole’s presence inadvertently rubbing salt in the wound.
Jaclyn bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. She could almost see steam coming out of Burt’s ears. “Hi,” she said, imbuing her voice with as much confidence and friendliness as she could muster. “You guys got here early, huh? How was the drive?”
No one answered. Terry tore his gaze away from Cole and focused on the empty field below, which was circled by a half wall like that of a skating rink. Dolores flushed and put a hand on her husband’s arm. Burt stood.
“What is he doing here?” he demanded.
“Who?” Jaclyn asked, feigning innocence.
Cole stiffened. “I think he means me.”
“Yes, I mean you,” Burt growled. “I told you, Jaclyn. I told you I wouldn’t have him around my grandchildren, and I won’t!”
The momentary thrill of victory quickly dissipated, leaving Jaclyn worried and anxious. She’d thought Burt would glower and pout—and get back at her later—but she’d never expected him to cause a scene. Not in front of the other soccer parents, and most certainly not in front of the children.
“Alyssa and Mackenzie are here,” she said, keeping her voice low. “And Alex is expecting us to watch his game. Let’s not ruin it for him. We’ll talk about other issues later, okay?”
Frowning, Mackenzie and Alyssa scrutinized the adults. “What’s wrong, Grandpa?” Mackenzie asked.
“Your mother’s what’s wrong, young lady,” Burt answered, a vein throbbing in his forehead. “She doesn’t have sense enough to do what’s best for you, even when someone spells it out for her.”
“What, exactly, is she doing wrong?” Cole demanded. “Maybe it’s time someone spelled it out for me. Because I’m having a hard time understanding why you guys can’t simply enjoy your time with the children and leave her alone.”
Jaclyn wanted to warn Cole to stay out of the line of fire. She’d seen Burt’s temper a number of times, knew he could get real ugly real fast, and didn’t think it fair for Cole to be on the receiving end of it. She’d brought him. This whole thing was her fault. Besides, people were starting to stare. Jaclyn could feel their eyes, their interest. And she was concerned about the confusion on her daughters’ faces and the possible embarrassment such a scene was going to cause Alex when he found out about it.
“Cole, let’s go sit somewhere else. The game’s about to start,” she said, but no one paid any attention to her. The smell of popcorn and hot dogs filled the air. Footsteps tramped up and down the wooden bleachers while others found seats. And the opposing team was already pouring onto the field. But Cole and the Wentworths seemed oblivious to it all.
“If she had any sense, she’d come back to Feld, settle down and raise these kids like she should,” Burt was saying. “If she had any sense, she’d leave men like you alone.”
Cole cocked an eyebrow at him, challenge apparent in his expression. “Men like me? You mean trailer trash, Burt? You think a poor man can’t be as good as a rich one?”
“Don’t play games with me,” Burt snapped. “This isn’t about rich and poor. I know who and what you are. I know your reputation—that poor girl you married told everyone that you’d cheated on her and drove her to try and take her own life. I can’t say what you’ve done since you left Feld, but I doubt you’ve changed much. An apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, now does it? You think I want my grandchildren growing up around you?”
Terry stood up then and hovered at his father’s shoulder, much the way his friends had hovered at his back during the confrontation at the Starlight Motel. Jaclyn wondered if it was because he expected Cole to start a fight, and she began to worry about that very thing.
Not here, she chanted silently. Please, not here.
“Cole,” she said again, but he was already talking.
“You’re implying they’d be around what, Burt? A poor example? A heavy drinker? An adulterer?” His gaze cut to Terry, who suddenly seemed ill at ease. “That’s funny. I thought they escaped a man who was all those things when they left Feld. And if I were you, I don’t think I’d run around spouting off about the apple and the tree. I’m not sure it reflects well on you.”
“I’ve made my mistakes, but so have you,” Terry started, entering the argument for the first time, but his father cut him off.
“How dare you!” he yelled at Cole. “This is none of your business. You have no say in any of it!”
“I have more say than you think,” Cole replied. “I’m going to marry Jaclyn, which would make her my wife and my business, and there’s not a thing you can do about it!”
This announcement was met with stunned silence. For Jaclyn, the drone of voices fell away. The tramping of feet fell away. She could only hear the furious pumping of her own heart. Had Cole just said what she thought he said?
Surely he hadn’t meant it. He couldn’t have meant it.
“This is getting out of hand,” she finally managed to say, hoping to diffuse the situation to the point where they could all think rationally again. “Cole and I don’t have any plans, but we have the right to make them if we want. Now, I suggest we all calm down and think about what’s going on—”
“There’s nothing to think about,” Burt said, pointing a thick finger at her. “You marry this guy, and I’ll see that your kids are taken away from you if it’s the last thing I do.”
“Mommy!” Mackenzie cried, clinging to Jaclyn’s leg the way Alyssa had done almost from the start.
“It’s okay, love,” she said, patting her back. “Grandpa’s just angry. He doesn’t mean it.”
“Try me,” Burt spat, glaring at Cole.
Cole chuckled humorlessly and shook his head. “You folks need to take a long look in the mirror and decide what it is you’re trying to achieve because you’re certainly not helping your grandchildren.”
White-faced, her brow crinkled with concern, Dolores looked frustrated and helpless at the same time. “Burt, he’s right,” she said, but her husband shook off the hand she laid on his arm.
“He’s not right about anything!” he cried.
“We’ll see,” Cole said. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you. You take Jaclyn to court, and you’ll be sorry. We’ll fight to achieve full custody of the kids, and we’ll triple Terry’s child support. I’ve got the time and the money and the inclination to do it. I know the right lawyers. So you need to ask yourself something, Burt. Is this really a war you think you can win?”
Burt’s jaw sagged. Before he could gather his thoughts and respond, Cole shot a condemning glance at Terry, who looked as if he wanted to say something more but was still deferring to Burt. “Why don’t you ever stand up to your father?” Cole demanded. “Are you that sure you’ll fail without him?”
Then he lifted Alyssa into his arms, took Jaclyn’s hand and led her and Mackenzie to the opposite end of the bleachers.
WHAT HAD HE DONE? Cole wondered. He’d just announced to Jaclyn, her ex-husband, her ex-in-laws and her two daughters that he was going to marry her. Marry her! He hadn’t even asked her, for crying out loud. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to marry. Furthermore, he and Rick still weren’t speaking, proof positive that he lacked any kind of good parenting skills. But his competitive spirit and defensive instincts had simply taken over. He’d established territory where he possessed none. And now he could only look back in horror and amazement.
Cole felt Jackie’s presence at his side but refused to look at her. Fortunately she didn’t seem any more eager to draw his attention than he was to give it. Following the argument with the Wentworths, she hadn’t said a word. She’d sat down next to him and focused strictly on the game—a game in which her ten-year-old son was playing. Mackenzie was sitting on the other side of her, and Alyssa was on Cole’s lap, and all Cole could think about was the prospect of raising them to adulthood while trying to avoid all the mistakes he’d made the first time around.
He couldn’t do it. He simply couldn’t do it.
Cheers reverberated around him—wild, excited cries diametrically opposed to Cole’s own emotions. He wanted to groan and drop his head into his hands. He wanted to go back in time and relive the past thirty minutes.
Cole clapped automatically for the goal Alex’s team must have scored, but he was thinking about Rick, and the way their relationship stood, and the reasons for it. He’d failed Rick somewhere along the line. He hadn’t given him enough love or positive attention or any one of a thousand other things a child needs, which meant he should quit while he was ahead—or at least not too far behind. He’d just have to apologize to Jaclyn and her kids for his impulsive mistake and move on.
Except moving on meant moving on. He wouldn’t get to see Jaclyn anymore. Jaclyn wasn’t the type of woman who could accept a casual relationship. She’d never put up with it, for one thing. And her situation was too different, besides.
“Would you like some popcorn?” she asked. “I’m going to the snack bar.”
Cole shook his head, only now noticing that the playing field was empty. It had to be half-time. He’d been sitting in the stands for half the game and hadn’t seen any of it. Distantly he wondered if Alex had played well.
“Want to come with Mommy and Mackenzie, Alyssa?”
“No, I’m staying here with Cole,” Alyssa answered, and slipped her arms tightly around his neck.
For a moment Cole was tempted to peel her away, hand her to her mother and get out of Dodge, fast. The child felt sweet and soft in his arms, and smelled like baby shampoo, but he didn’t need her blue eyes fixed on him, making him feel that much guiltier for planning to walk away after the game. He’d always had a weakness for Jackie. He’d always wanted her. But he couldn’t let that tempt him into screwing up the rest of his life. He’d just unsnarled the damage caused by the first twenty years.
Taking Mackenzie with her, Jaclyn scaled the bleachers, then disappeared around the corner. Cole glanced across the stands to see what the Wentworths were doing and caught Terry watching him. Only he didn’t look angry, as Cole expected. He looked…thoughtful, almost sad.
Sighing, Cole shifted Alyssa on his lap. “Don’t you want to go see your daddy?” he asked.
She peeked around at Terry, then shook her head. “I’m going to stay here. With you.”
“Great,” he muttered.
Fortunately she didn’t question this response. She just curled up in his lap as content as a cat bathing in the sun, until her mother returned.
“I brought you a cola,” Jaclyn said.
“Thanks.” Cole accepted the drink and shared it with Alyssa and Mackenzie, both of whom clamored for it immediately.
“Grandma and Grandpa and Daddy came all the way from Feld to see you,” Jaclyn told the girls. “Why don’t you take them some of your popcorn?”
Alyssa was still reluctant to get down, but when Mackenzie ran off with the popcorn, she finally followed her sister, which left Cole and Jaclyn alone for the first time since Alex had brought him to her door.
“I’m sorry about what happened when we arrived,” Jaclyn said.
Cole took a sip of his soda. “No problem.”
“I should have told you that Burt threatened to cut off the child support if I saw you anymore. Then you could have been prepared.”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” he said, but he wondered if that was true. Would he have opened his big mouth and shouted out that he was going to marry Jaclyn if he’d known he was walking into an ambush?
“About what I said up there.” He cleared his throat, which suddenly felt rather tight, then plunged ahead, deciding that it was best to address the subject as soon as possible and clear the air. “About…you know, marriage.”
“Yes?” She faced him, her expression blank enough to make Cole believe there was still hope for an easy out. She didn’t seem hopeful or upset or overly eager. She seemed perfectly okay.
Taking heart, he went on. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. There’s a lot we’d have to consider before making a big decision like that one.”
“I understand,” she replied. “We all say things we don’t mean once in a while.” She shrugged. “I enjoyed seeing the shock on Burt’s face. It was worth it. Anyway, we’ll just wait a few weeks and reinforce that our plans have changed. It won’t be a big deal.”
She smiled reassuringly, but it was her indifference and willingness to let him backpedal that bothered Cole. Wasn’t Jackie even remotely tempted to make their relationship permanent? Isn’t that what most women wanted? Rochelle had followed him and manipulated him, all for a ring on her finger. Jackie, on the other hand, had much more reason to want the financial and emotional support of a spouse, yet she asked for nothing. Was it because of the mistake he’d made with his friend from the trucking company? He’d known it would affect Jackie’s opinion of him, but he also believed a woman who cared about him would be willing to forgive him. Had she been the one who’d made the mistake, he’d definitely let the past go and give her a chance to prove herself. But then, he hadn’t gone through what she’d gone through.
“What are you saying?” he asked. “That you wouldn’t want to marry me even if I asked you?”
She looked down at the field and started clapping. Alex’s team was just coming back on. “I don’t have to worry about you asking me,” she said after a moment. “You don’t want to get married, remember?”
“Yeah, right,” he said, sorely missing the determination behind that conviction. He’d been going back and forth on the marriage issue for weeks now, but the more Jackie slipped away from him, the more eager he was to bind her to him.
And the less committed he became to bachelorhood.
“THAT WAS QUITE A GAME,” Jaclyn said, standing outside her house with Cole beneath the pale arc of a streetlight. “I’m so glad Alex’s team won.”
Alex had gone inside to change out of his soccer uniform, and the girls had soon followed, convinced, when Cole and Jaclyn did nothing more than talk in the chilly night air, that there had to be something more interesting on television.
“Terry and Burt weren’t too happy when they left the game,” Cole said.
Folding her arms across her body to help her lightweight jacket keep her warm, Jaclyn tilted her head back to admire the night sky. It was only eight o’clock, but the days were getting shorter. Thanksgiving was less than a week away. She could hardly believe how fast the months were passing. When she’d started working for Cole in mid-August, getting her real-estate license had seemed so far into the future. Now she was two days away from taking the test.
“Poor Alex. He was hoping to go with them. But they said goodbye and hurried off,” she said. “And I doubt they’ll be coming back again very soon.”
“Do you think Burt will call once they reach home?”
“There’s no telling what Burt will do.”
Cole shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the side of his Navigator. “Do you want me to stay for a while, just in case?”
The words were spoken casually enough, as though he was merely being polite, but Jaclyn got the distinct impression his offer stemmed from something deeper than courtesy. He wanted to stay, and as much as Jaclyn wished otherwise, her desire to let him had nothing to do with protection from Burt Wentworth. When she was with Cole, the whole world seemed right, as though she’d started a journey long ago and finally reached the ideal destination.
But that’s my heart talking, not my head, and my heart’s been wrong before.
“There’s nothing Burt can do to hurt me, at least not tonight.” She offered him a weak smile. “It will take him a few days to marshal his force of attorneys.”
“You don’t think he’ll back off?”
“Maybe.” She grinned. “Now that he believes we’re getting married.”
She thought she saw Cole blush, which wasn’t something that happened often, but the shadows covering his face made it difficult to tell for sure. She did know he hadn’t been his smooth-talking, confident self ever since claiming he was going to marry her. Fortunately she understood that he’d said it in the heat of the argument. Even if she’d taken him at his word, she would have realized he regretted what he’d said when he clammed up and wouldn’t talk through most of the game.
“What about Terry? He’ll just let his dad do whatever he wants?” Cole asked.
“I don’t know. Terry was very bitter last year and very much a part of the court battles, but he seems to be losing his zeal for the fight. Maybe he’s finally reconciling himself to the fact that I’m not coming back, no matter what he does.”
“Or maybe he’s met someone else.”
Jaclyn thought about that. “I doubt it,” she said after a moment. “The kids never mention anyone. Neither does Terry.”
“Would it upset you?”
“If he was seeing someone else? No. I keep hoping he’ll do exactly that and move on with his life, but he claims there will never be anyone to replace me.”
“What about Alex?” he asked. “You think he’ll be okay? He didn’t seem to know what to do when he had his father and grandparents on one side of the bleachers, and you and me on the other.”
“I know. I’m sure he was afraid his father would take it personally or get angry if he spent too much time with us, but he likes you, so he was naturally drawn our way.”
“He’s a good boy.”
“He’s coming along. He still has some issues with the divorce, but he knows I love him and want what’s best for him. I’m hoping that will eventually conquer the negative. It has to, doesn’t it? I mean, otherwise, parents wouldn’t stand a chance of raising healthy, well-adjusted individuals—not with all the things that go wrong in life. Very few people have a perfect childhood.”
Cole’s gaze fell to the ground. Taking one hand out of his pocket, he kneaded the back of his neck as he asked, “You think love is enough?”
“I think it can compensate for a lot of things. It’s a lack of love that really hurts a child—or anyone, really.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything, his expression serious, as though he was pondering something important.
“What are you thinking about?” Jaclyn asked.
“I was just wondering if it’s ever too late.”
“For what?”
“For someone to receive the love they need.”
Surely some people received too little love too late, she thought. But weren’t there others out there, millions, who could still be whole and healthy if only they had someone to care about them? “That would probably depend on a lot of things,” she finally replied.
“Yeah.” He sighed and jammed his hand back in his pocket, then looked at her. “I want to see you,” he said.
The sudden change in topic took Jaclyn by surprise. His statement was simple and sincere, and she wanted to respond to it. Except that dating Cole went against everything she’d been telling herself for the past three months. She was finally out and on her own. Why break down now?
“I think we’ve already established that it’s probably best—”
“To what?” he interrupted. “Give up on what we feel?”
Evidently Jaclyn was far more transparent than she thought. “What do we feel?” she asked.
“That’s what I want to find out. And don’t tell me you don’t feel anything. I know better.”
“How?”
“From your birthday.”
“I’m just trying to make good choices,” she said. “It’s so important now that I’m on my own with the kids.”
“I understand. That’s why I let you pull away the first time. But now, I’m not sure it’s such a good choice.”
“So what do you want? To see a movie once in a while, you and me? Or are you interested in including the kids?”
He shrugged and gazed toward a car turning at the corner. Headlights swung toward them, then away as the vehicle pulled into a driveway up the street.
“Why can’t we do both?” he asked. “I don’t have any expectations. Let’s just start at ground zero and try not to decide the ending before we finish the beginning. I’ll promise to take things slow, if you’ll promise to trust me.”
Trust him? An admitted philanderer?
“I’m not sure I can do that.”
“I’m not like Terry,” he said.
Jaclyn had wanted him to say those words ever since she’d run into him at Joanna’s. She’d wanted to hear him claim his innocence, or at least declare his reformation, but he’d never offered any justification for his past, and he didn’t now. He just looked at her with hope shining in his eyes, willing her to believe him.
Somehow his silence went a lot further toward breaking down her defenses than any amount of talking could have done.
“I know you’re a lot stronger than Terry in many ways,” she said. “You wouldn’t have been able to accomplish what you’ve accomplished if you weren’t, but—”
He grasped her by the shoulders and stared down at her. “I won’t cheat on you, Jackie,” he said, then he kissed her.
Jaclyn closed her eyes, savoring the feel of Cole’s lips on hers. His breath fanned her cheek and his hand cupped the back of her head, but it wasn’t a passionate kiss. It was soft and sweet and endearing, and it begged her to believe in him.
The smell of his aftershave filled her nostrils, and Jaclyn felt her resistance crumble. She could try to trust him, couldn’t she? It wasn’t so much to ask.
Breaking off the kiss long before Jaclyn wanted him to, he lifted his head and smiled down at her. “Can I see you tomorrow?”
Heart beating in her throat, Jaclyn gazed into eyes that were dark and intense beneath an unruly lock of black hair, and knew she couldn’t refuse him. It’s only a date, she told herself. No big deal. I can back out at the first sign of trouble.
Who was she kidding?
“Why don’t you come for dinner at six?” she heard herself say.
“I’ll be here,” he promised with a grin. Then he got in his truck and drove away, leaving Jaclyn standing in the street, still hungry for his touch, still aching for his embrace.