Kyle
THE BARBECUE is in full swing, but I’m glued to the same spot with the only view I want for the rest of the night. The little group standing about three feet away from me is where my focus lies. The pool lights have come on, providing somewhat of a spotlight on the center of my attention. Standing off to the side by myself, I probably look crazy to everyone else.
I’m banking on the fact that most don’t know how to approach me after all I’ve been through. I’m not in the mood to talk about my feelings. Honestly, I’ve switched into research mode. I want to see how this Andy dude moves.
“So you live in the city?” someone asks Andy in the small group he’s standing in.
“Yeah, it’s an easy commute to work, and I love my apartment.” Andy’s reply floats to my ears.
“I used to live in SoHo before I moved out to Jersey,” the other guy says.
“I love that new Thai fusion place down in SoHo,” Darwin adds.
“I have to try that place out. I love Thai food,” I hear Andy reply.
I note that fact for later. I’ve been earhustling for a half hour at this point. I have no shame; it is what it is. I’m learning details about my nephew’s kindergarten teacher. I’ve always found Mr. Connor attractive, but I’m seeing him more closely now.
“I don’t mean to pry, but that’s a nice neighborhood on a teacher’s salary,” someone in the group says.
I frown. That is very personal. The protective part of me wants to tell them to mind their fucking business. The side of me that wants to learn more leans in to listen closely.
Andy gives a small laugh. “I actually work at an upscale private school. I’m doing pretty well. Although, I work there by choice—”
“And that was too much of an explanation,” Darwin cuts him off. “Learn some tact, honey, will you?”
I chuckle to myself. You have to love Darwin. He said exactly what I was thinking.
“You guys have some great bars and lounges,” the guy from Jersey notes.
“Yeah, I don’t go out to those much. Unless my sister drags me.” Andy chuckles softly.
I love that quietness. I bite my lip as my mind goes back to that last kiss I took before walking out of that guest room earlier. I wanted to leave him with something to think about. It’s going to be a long weekend now that all I have on my mind is our date.
“What has that look on your face?” Beau asks as he walks up with two beers.
“Nothing,” I reply, taking the offering he holds out.
Beau’s the one person here that knows me enough not to care how standoffish my body language might be. I don’t mind. Beau and I understand each other. He’s the brother I wished all my life for, right up until the moment I got him, and I wouldn’t trade him for another.
“I’ve seen nothing, and that ain’t it. You were coming out of the house with that guy when I arrived. By the way you’ve been watching him—not that I blame you, might I add—I’d say nothing is a whole lot of something, all right,” he says, nodding in Andy’s direction.
“Yeah, I know him,” I reply nonchalantly.
“From…?” Beau draws out with a questioning gaze. “Better yet, are you sure you’re ready?”
I blank-stare back at him. Beau has known me long enough to know I’m not going to open up here around all of these people—if I were going to open up at all. Which is still highly unlikely to happen.
“Fine,” he murmurs, before taking a pull of his beer. His twang comes through as he speaks.
“Country ass,” I tease.
“Some things ain’t never gonna change. What’s your point?” he tosses back.
“Don’t have one. You stopped asking me questions, though. Didn’t you?”
Beau grins around his beer. We both fall into our usual comfortable silence. It’s exactly what I need at the moment. Time with my thoughts and enough quiet to overhear Andy’s conversation.
It might seem a little stalkerish, but it’s my way of learning the details I need to know. Details give insight, and insight always gives you a hand in the choices you make. Choices are important, and to make the right ones you need every crumb that falls into your lap.
“Mm, you’re about to do something non-Kyle. Be careful,” Beau says and walks away.
Something non-Kyle. That entire scene back in that room was not me at all. I think it’s time I do exactly that. Something non-Kyle it is.