If you ask me what the single most wonderful thing in existence is, I will quickly reply KITTENS! They are somehow the furry embodiment of happiness. When I picture an afterlife, I envision only rolling fields of kittens. They are the definition of innocence, joy, and playfulness. If you find they do not affect you in the same way, I can only guess something is grievously wrong with you.

You’ve heard the question posed about the chicken or the egg. Well here’s an even more puzzling riddle: which came first, the kitten or the cat lady? Most women are genetically designed to be nurturing, loving, and protective. Somewhere around ancient Egyptian times, cats realized this and set out to exploit it. What they created was a younger version of themselves so adorable, even the toughest women will become paralyzed with euphoria in their presence. Thus enslaving the females of the human race.

The only other thing in history to have such a potent effect on women would have to be dessert. Pastry, specifically, is the Achilles heel in most women’s efforts to be Etch A Sketch thin. No one seems to have understood this better than the Italians, who I think have created the single most delicious combination of sugar, flour, and cream possible: the cannoli.

In a moment of cat scratch fever–induced delirium, I hallucinated a combination of the two greatest things on the planet. What came out of that is this recipe, my idea of heaven on earth.