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Fortunately, I fake my Frosty the Snowman bullshit. Otherwise, my jealousy would be obvious once we arrive at the hotel. Monroe is like a silly kid excited over her mommy’s attention. The two of them are so touchy-feely, hugging and playing with each other’s hair. The women in my family don’t act like that. Sure, Topanga is handsy and occasionally fondles me. Yet, my mom and aunt are more likely to throw punches at each other than to fucking cuddle.
But Needy isn’t the problem. No, it’s all me. I never knew how lonely I was until Monroe. What if she spends all her time with Needy now? Like a fucking idiot, I need her to pay attention to me. Monroe is my chance at a safe space. Except now, she only has eyes for her mother.
“Let’s get a drink,” Lowell tells me while the women whisper and suddenly begin crying in the bathroom of our hotel room. “Give them some privacy.”
We walk down to the hotel’s main floor bar, where crappy pop music plays in the empty area. When Lowell and I order beers, I sense the bartender wishes we picked something more interesting. I’m in such a shitty mood that I consider changing my order. I care too much about what people think, even fucking strangers.
“Monroe seems happy,” Lowell mutters.
“Why are you in a bad mood?”
“I thought we’d get to beat up someone today,” he complains, rubbing at his beard. “I got pumped for that fight. Now, I’m coming down from the whole ball of fucking nothing that happened.”
“I’d hug you, but I don’t want to. Besides, you ought to be happy things went smoothly.”
Lowell gives me an ugly smile before asking a tricky question, “Where will Needy live?”
“The Overlook, I guess. Eventually, she’ll probably be at my house with Monroe.”
“Shouldn’t she live on her own?”
“She might want to, but I suspect not. I think she’s more like Pixie’s mom, where she needs to stay close to her kids to function. Before Needy got sold off by Uncle Clive, she planned to move somewhere warmer with Monroe. They seem like a package deal.”
“How’s that gonna work with you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Seems like this thing puts you in an awkward situation,” Lowell says, just rubbing salt in my wounds.
“Monroe needed her mom. I gave her that.”
“Yeah, and I’m glad they’re together, but it’s weird. Like, Monroe came to Elko because her mom was missing or married off or whatever. That was why she felt alone. Now, she’s not alone.”
“Are you trying to make me worry?”
Lowell shrugs. “I’m trying to air out any issues that might be coming up.”
“But they're not your issues, so it feels as if you’re airing out my troubles for your entertainment.”
“Monroe is my kid. If she bails on Elko and runs off with Needy, I’ll never get to know her. That makes what happens my problem, too.”
“I guess.”
“Don’t sulk.”
“Pouting is a good look on me. All the girls say so.”
Lowell rolls his dark eyes before frowning at the sight of Needy approaching us. She shuffles along in socked feet and slides into a seat next to me at the bar top. Her face is blotchy from crying earlier with Monroe in the bathroom.
“Monroe is showering. I need a drink,” she says, asking for a cocktail. “Francis didn’t believe women should drink alcohol. I never even liked booze until someone told me I couldn’t have it.”
I allow a soft smile, hearing so much of Monroe in her mother’s voice. They’re both stubborn bulldogs who really just want to find a comfy spot to call home.
Nursing my beer, I can’t believe I’m worried about Monroe leaving Elko. She’s been into me from the first day we met. We’ve been inseparable for weeks. I got her mom out of a bad situation. Monroe loves me. Why am I questioning her loyalty?
Bad habits, I guess. I always assume people aren’t happy with me. Or they’ll change their minds at a flip of a fucking switch. Why wouldn’t she be the same?
Except I know Monroe, and I bet she’s thinking of me while she showers. I always think of her whenever I’m naked.
“I had zero interest in kids until I got that positive pregnancy test,” Needy says, breaking the silence as she sips her drink. “But then I had someone to love, and her life meant everything. When Bambi said I needed to get rid of the baby or she’d have me killed, I couldn’t chance standing up to her. It didn’t matter that I was certain Monroe was Lowell’s, and she figured it was Rooster’s. Arguing with her seemed too risky. That’s why I didn’t push things in Elko. I took the money I had saved up and ran. It’s also why I went along with Clive’s deal. For my baby, I’ll always back down and play things careful.”
“But you didn’t with the methhead who broke into your trailer,” Lowell mutters, starting shit.
Needy’s blue eyes widen. “Monroe told you about that?”
“She said you hit him with the TV since he was taking it anyway. That was risky. Just handing it over would have been safer.”
Needy gives Lowell a soft smile. “That’s not why I hit him with the TV, you big dummy. The guy had just gotten out of prison for raping a girl not much older than Monroe. When he stood in our trailer with his knife, I wasn’t thinking about TVs. I only cared about how he looked at Monroe in her pajamas.”
“Why not tell her the truth?”
“Lowell, you have a boy, right?” she asks, and he nods. “Well, girls are different. Monroe was just hitting puberty. Her body was changing, and she was getting self-conscious about it. Why explain how when that fucker looked at her, he saw a teen girl with new tits that no man ever tried out before? That’s not what anyone should tell their baby girl. I never wanted Monroe to feel as if her body might not belong to her.”
Lowell frowns as if struggling to imagine his daughter as a child. He’s only known her as a sexy bunny, community party brawler, and mouthy adult willing to give him shit. He can’t really imagine her as a child. I can’t, either, but I suspect Needy is thinking of her daughter as a kid right now. She wears a soft smile while sipping her drink.
“Monroe was always proud to have you as her dad,” Needy says, ignoring Lowell’s frown. “When people asked about her father, she would say you lived in Ohio, and you had an important job. When we were struggling in Georgia, those people would ask why you didn’t help. Monroe would give them a dirty look and tell them to mind their own business. Her father’s choices didn’t concern them. She was so confident.”
While Lowell allows a little grin, I’m smiling like a fool. All my life, I’ve felt alone. Yet, now knowing Monroe existed in the same world makes my lonely memories less painful. She was out there, waiting for me.
Needy nudges me. “Can I be honest with you?”
“I fear nothing.”
“Well, then, I wasn’t happy when Monroe told me on the phone that she was hooked up with Wheels Jessup’s son. There’s no denying your daddy was a sexy badass and could be funny, but he was also a selfish asshole. Sorry, but he was.”
“I lived with him for most of my life. So, yeah, I know he was.”
Needy smiles softly. “Of course, I understood why Monroe would be attracted to a younger Wheels. Like I said, your father was handsome and rowdy and fun. He was good in bed, too.”
“Thanks for that info,” I mutter.
“Of course, we shouldn’t compare your sexual talents, on account of how Lowell is listening. I suspect he isn’t okay with Monroe spreading for anyone.”
“No, I’m not.”
Needy snorts. “She’s twenty-one.”
“I don’t care. I don’t want Dunning fucking bunnies. Sex is gross when it’s my kids.”
“Sure, bud,” she says and then smiles at me. “I planned to talk Monroe out of falling too hard for you. Then, when we talked more while you were getting ready to help me, I realized Monroe was over the moon about you. I mean, you know that, right? I’m not ratting her out here.”
“Yeah, she worships me pretty hard.”
Needy smiles wider. “And I wasn’t okay with that, but then she used words like ‘sweet’ when describing you. Monroe said you had a good heart, and you made her feel safe. Not from danger, but just from worrying about life. You kept her calm, even when life was kicking her around. I knew right then that you weren’t like your dad. Not completely, anyway.”
“So, you’re not going to convince Monroe to dump me now?”
Needy nearly laughs at my question. “No way will she give you up. I suspect if you end things, she’ll hide in the bushes outside your house and watch you.”
“We have sprinklers,” I say, and Needy’s blue eyes warm. “I’d just turn them on and scare her off.”
“Monroe doesn’t mind getting wet.”
I immediately imagine Monroe in the shower, and my dick says hello.
“Conor, why don’t you head back to the room and receive your reward,” Needy says as if sensing where my brain went. “Lowell and I will stay here. He can give me shit for not telling him about Monroe. I’ll rag on him for not keeping the club’s old ladies in check. Then, I’ll share stories about Monroe as a kid, and he’ll try not to cry with pride.”
Lowell grunts, but I think he actually needs someone to talk to about Monroe. Though Topanga might support her man, she can’t really reminisce with him. Needy can share what he’s been lacking these last few weeks.
Leaving them to work out their parenting issues, I head upstairs to the room. Lowell is set up next door. Needy will bunk in the second bed in my room. Not an ideal situation, but I couldn’t stand telling Monroe to ditch her mom for the night.
“My hero,” Monroe sighs as I enter the room to find my blotchy-faced babe in a hotel robe. “Are you cocked and loaded?”
As soon as the door clicks shut behind me, Monroe offers me an eyeful of what’s hiding under her robe.
“Are you okay?” I ask, trying to focus on my lovestruck heart rather than my hard dick.
“Yes.”
“Why were you crying?”
“We talked about Zella and how difficult the months apart were,” she says, and I hear her voice break. “But I’m okay now. Are you alright?”
“I’ve missed those tits,” I murmur, remaining at the door. “But I feel neglected.”
“Hey, bud, I wanted to blow you in the SUV but figured my dad might pitch a fit.”
“Good call,” I snicker, ditching the slow-go scenario. Moving quickly to her, I plant a kiss on her sexy lips. Monroe tastes so good that I need to rip open my jeans just to think.
“I can never repay you for helping my mom,” she says, sliding her tits against my now-bare chest. “I’ll just have to make it my mission to please you sexually. Like even if we break up, I’ll still show up to suck you off occasionally.”
Grinning, I roll my eyes when she kneels before me. “Nope. I need pussy.”
“Are you shit-talking my blowjobs?” she growls dramatically as I lift her up and dump her gently on the bed.
“Why would we ever break up when I’m obsessed with your pussy?” I ask, stroking her mound. “And never talk about leaving me. I’m feeling insecure. That’s why my dick is so hard.”
Monroe strokes my face. “Many people love you, Conor, but none of them love you like I do. My home is wherever you are.”
All day, I’ve stressed over if this woman would leave me once she got her mom back. During all my worrying, I forgot how she needs me to breathe, too. This kind of unflinching love is new for me, and I’ll need to figure out how to trust in it.
