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Arriving at the Overlook, I find Amity stoned and teary-eyed. She sits in our apartment with Jena and Roni. They just watch her shiver under a big blanket. Soon, Needy and I cuddle against her body and free her from her fearful thoughts.
Amity stares at my face for a few seconds and then strokes my cheek tenderly. She then does the same to Needy. Exhaling, she shakes her head.
“I thought they were going to kill you,” she says, seeming small as she relaxes into Needy’s embrace. “I just stood there and let them take you.”
“Baby, you couldn’t do anything against such men. You were smart to run.”
Amity’s suffering is my responsibility. I need to soothe her, yet I keep thinking of Conor.
“Did they hurt you?” Amity asks me.
“No. They were my cousins.”
“The big one hit you.”
“He punches like a bitch.”
Amity stops hiding behind her hair and sighs. “I felt in my heart that you were dead. I still feel that way.”
“I’m sorry they scared and threatened you,” I say, stroking her cheek. “I know it doesn’t make what happened okay, but I did kick my cousins in the balls a lot today. They may never breed.”
Amity gives me a soft smile, but she’s too buzzed and depressed to shake off her bad day. Her sad blue eyes return my thoughts to Zella in the basement. I’m reminded of how effortlessly the world can steal a person away. One slip of the finger on David Clive’s gun and this sweet, broken girl would be gone forever.
“The world is too small here,” Needy says and slides off the couch before gently tugging Amity and me up. “Let’s go to the roof where we can breathe.”
I try to smile for her, but the weight of today’s events hits me. What I really want is to fill a room with my favorite people and never let them leave. If I can lock them away, we’ll be safe. Nuts or not, I don’t want to go to the rooftop deck. Amity also seems to want to hide in the apartment. Yet, Needy won’t be denied.
Up on the deck, I scan the surrounding area, including the neighborhood I will one day view as home. In the distance, motorcycles rev, dogs bark, and kids play. The world feels more alive and welcoming up on the roof.
A few days ago, Conor, Amity, Needy, and I sat up here and spied on the Woodlands using Conor’s drones. Needy kept crashing hers. While mine ended up in a tree after I freaked out at the sight of Pixie and Anders running around naked in their backyard.
Today, Conor’s drones can’t offer us entertainment, so we turn on music and enjoy the mild autumn weather. Sitting on the lounge chairs, each one of us tries to push away today’s ugliness.
Earlier, Conor dropped me off at the Overlook’s lot and promised to be back soon. I had gripped his shirt, afraid for him to go.
Leaning into his ear, I needed him to hear me over his idling motorcycle. “I’m scared and want you to stay with me.”
Conor’s green eyes revealed nothing. No love, pity, or warmth. I was nothing to him. His reaction broke my already tender heart.
But the iciness in his eyes wasn’t real. He was struggling with a raging mess of feelings, just like me.
“You’ll come back,” I said, reassuring Conor that I knew the real him. “Then, we’ll be together.”
Conor allowed a slight smile. Just a small gesture, but it was enough.
Now on the deck, I jump to my feet at the sound of approaching motorcycles. I run to the edge to look down at the parking lot. But the Harleys keep driving past the Overlook and to the Woodlands next door. I pull out my phone, wanting to check on Conor.
Unsure if I’m clinging too tightly to him, I ask my mom, “Should I call?”
“Let him be a tough guy,” Needy says, closing her eyes as the breeze blows against her relaxed face. “He needs to show Brian and David how easily the Executioners hold power. Then, the boys will tell Clive to stay in North Dakota. You know how your uncle can’t walk away from a cut to his ego. But, if he thinks taking on the club will fuck him, he’ll play nice. If not, Conor will need to end Clive.”
Deep inside, I don’t want my uncle to die. That sentimental part of my heart remembers how special I felt when Clive paid attention to me. I’m so used to accepting how he’s a dick that I struggle to flat-out hate him for what he did to Needy and me. My heart is weak for the McNamee family.
Yet, if Conor killed my cousins tonight and planned to do the same to my uncle, I wouldn’t blame him. I know how life works. Sometimes, the only way for one side to win is for the other one to lose. No peace, no compromise, just who kills best. And if war comes, I want Conor to win even if he has to burn down everything I cared about in Minton.
“I’m not afraid of dying,” Amity says, drawing my attention away from the now quiet parking lot. “I’m afraid of being forgotten. No one I knew growing up is still alive. Girls come and go at the Overlook. People didn’t even remember Needy. No offense,” she mumbles and glances at my mom.
“No offense taken, baby. What you’re missing is a family,” Needy says, stroking Amity’s head. “The one you had was no good, and they’re dead. Life at the Overlook and with the Executioners makes you happy, but it’s not enough. You need a family who holds you in their heart. That way, you’ll never be forgotten.”
Seeming lost, Amity stares up at the clear sky. I stroke her hand and then give every nail a gentle pinch. Her lax face shifts into a smile.
“Where can I find a family?”
“We can be your family,” Needy says before I can. “You’ll have a mom and a sister, and Conor can be your brother-in-law, who you know a little too well. One day, you’ll be an auntie. Then, over time, you might find a man you want to have babies with.”
“There’ll always be a room for you in Conor’s future house. You can move in with us when you get tired of being a bunny.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re my friend, and I cling to the people I love.”
“But Jena is your friend, too.”
“Not like you.”
Amity smiles softly, thinking of a future with people who keep her in their hearts. Needy smiles, too. Right now, she isn’t happy in Elko. Everything is new and unsettled. Neither of us can imagine what next week will look like, let alone a big house or kids or all the other stuff I keep talking about as if it’s a done deal.
But I trust Conor. If he wants those things, I believe they’ll happen.
My current calm doesn’t mean I don’t go nuts when I hear his motorcycle in the parking lot. I hurry over to the roof’s edge to see Conor getting off his bike. A midsized gray car parks next to him. Soon, my cousins climb out and wait for Conor to gesture toward the front door.
“I’m going down,” I announce to Needy and Amity, who tap their feet to the beat of a song by Florence and the Machine. “Are you okay?”
Nodding, Mom holds my gaze. No one knows me like she does. That’s why she understands how Conor is my other half. My heart can no longer work like it used to. Conor’s changed the tempo in a way I never want to lose.
Downstairs in the Overlook’s lobby, I find Conor with Brian Clive and David Clive. The three men turn to me exiting the elevator. My gaze washes over my cousins before focusing on Conor. At that moment, he might as well be the only person in the world.
“Are they on house arrest until the SUV is fixed?” I ask Conor as I hurry to join them.
“Seems best,” he says, sliding his hand along my back. “They can order delivery, watch TV, sleep comfortably.”
“What is this place?” David Clive asks.
Conor gestures toward a hallway at the lobby’s rear. “Where our friends stay when they visit.”
I walk with the men to an apartment in the back. Conor unlocks the door and lets the men enter. We remain in the hallway.
“Today wasn’t a positive introduction,” he tells my cousins. “My club president would have been happy to put a bullet in your heads. But you’re Monroe’s family. This compromise gets you back to your dad and keeps my people from ending you. But it only works if you stay in this building until the SUV is fixed. Leaving here without our protection isn’t ideal for your long-term health.”
“Yeah, we get it,” Brian Clive mutters, looking around. “You’ll kill us if we don’t behave.”
“They prefer blunt wording,” I explain to my man.
“Got it,” Conor says and kisses my temple. “Look here, fatheads, I wanna nice relationship with your powerful daddy. But if I have to butcher you two dumbasses, he’s never going to be my friend. So, hunker down here until you can go home and tell your pa how you kicked ass and made him new allies. Kay?”
“Still too many words,” I tease and pat his stomach. Glancing at my frowning cousins, I sigh. “You shouldn’t have threatened my friend today. That was fucked up. People here know what you did. Conor is keeping you alive, so say thank you.”
My cousins shrug and say the words to Conor. He just nods and gestures toward the kitchen.
“There are delivery menus in the drawer and cameras all over the building. If you so much as breathe on this door, we’ll know,” Conor says in his cold, killer voice before switching to a friendlier demeanor. “I’d suggest you order the ribs and slaw from Bambi’s. Night, boys.”
My cousins and I share a last glance before the door closes. As usual, everything about the McNamee family is both good and bad. I see shame in their eyes for how rowdy things got with people they consider family. Yet, I also notice hostility over having me in the driver’s seat and them just hoping to survive the night.
“We’re staying in this apartment,” Conor says, tugging me down to the next-door empty guest unit. “The Woodlands will sleep easier if they know someone is here to watch over your cousins.”
“I’m sorry,” I say as he opens the door.
“I don’t forgive you,” he replies while gesturing for me to enter. “You clearly have complete control over the universe. Meaning, you should have puppet-mastered your family into behaving.”
“I know you’re kidding, but maybe I do have control over the universe. After all, I wanted a new home, and I found it in here,” I whisper and stroke his chest.
Conor drops the cool act and kisses me deeply. For the next minute, I only breathe through him. His arms trap me against his body. My hands rest on his chest, and I feel his heart racing. This frostiest of men is actually raging hot inside.
“They tried to take you from me,” he says when our lips part.
I stare into his rage-filled eyes. “I’m proud of you for not killing them.”
Conor’s gaze softens, and he allows a grin. “That’s your response?”
“Oh, I mean, I was so scared.”
Chuckling, he shakes his head. “There were so many times when I feared my future honey wouldn’t be able to face my life. Not just my mom and the ugly shit I did when she wasn’t around. There’s the fear, too. Real danger exists outside the gated community. I know Lana doesn’t want to hear those things. I thought I’d have to hide, too. But then the universe gave me a honey who was tough enough to understand how even her blood might need to die to make our lives better.”
“I never want you to feel like you can’t tell me what’s in your heart or head,” I say, wrapping him too tightly in my arms. “I’m your home.”
Conor glances around the apartment and then settles his gaze on the couch. “I have to fuck you. Though Bronco and Lowell are heading this way, and I should remain focused, I still need to feel you.”
“Just a quick one to hold you over,” I say, tugging him toward the couch.
Conor and I strip off only as many clothes as necessary to allow him to fill my body with his cock. Moving together, we hold each other’s gaze. The world around us fades away. Gone are yesterday’s struggles, today’s fears, and tomorrow’s uncertainties. Right now, we’re two halves together in a way I hope we always will be.
