He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your
dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be
yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
ANONYMOUS
Erika was six when her family got Missy, a yellow Lab/golden retriever mix. The two girls bonded instantly—like best friends and sisters of a different species. Erika spent all her free time with Missy in those early childhood days that seemed to last forever. Her parents entrusted her with the responsibility of feeding Missy when she came home from school and taking Missy on her afternoon walks.
But as Erika grew older, she had more demands on her time. There was schoolwork, extracurricular activities, sports, hanging out with friends, church stuff—and it all added up to less time with Missy. Then, in high school, Erika had a shift in attitude. She started feeling like she was just too cool for her dog. It was like she was part of the in crowd and Missy was a four-legged nerd with a tail. Erika began to take Missy for granted.
Missy did not respond in kind. Her devotion to Erika never wavered. Through Erika’s transition from kid to teen, Missy was constantly loyal and loving no matter how little time Erika spent with her. Missy held no grudges. She didn’t complain. She was always there when Erika needed a friend. Sounds like Missy was exercising that 1 Corinthians 13 “love is patient, love is kind” brand of love.
Like many teens, Erika had some terrible angst-ridden days in high school when she didn’t feel like sharing her problems with any of her family or friends. They wouldn’t understand. They would half-listen in their busyness. They’d offer well-meaning but tired old clichés she didn’t need. It was times like this that Erika would go out to the backyard and visit with Missy.
Good ol’ Missy was always there. She wouldn’t be on the phone, playing computer games, working on a project, or in the middle of an addictive TV series. Missy was a 24/7 friend. She had amazing intuition and knew exactly how to minister to Erika. Sometimes they’d play. Other times they’d just sit on the grass and stare into space together. Missy would know exactly when to turn to Erika and give her a little lick on the cheek. It was magic. Erika’s gloom would lift and a smile would break through. The six-year-old in Erika would return and she’d blow on Missy’s nose, triggering Missy’s turbo lick response. Next thing you knew, Missy would be licking Erika’s face like an ice cream cone. It would have looked gross to an outside observer but it was pure joy for Erika and Missy.
Erika didn’t realize how important Missy was to her until she moved out to go to college. When Erika felt down, she couldn’t just pop into the backyard and let Missy lick away her blues. She couldn’t call Missy up and have a heart-to-heart. And since keypads aren’t exactly paw-friendly, forget texting. So for those college years, Erika and Missy had to wait for a school break or summer to be together. They went for walks or sat outside staring into other dimensions, just enjoying being in each other’s presence.
In between her junior and senior year, Erika decided to move to Los Angeles for the summer. She was a film major and wanted to explore the possibilities in the entertainment capital of the world. It was during this time that her parents called and told her Missy had cancer. Erika’s immediate thought was to go home and be there for her dear friend of 15 years. Erika could barely remember a time when Missy wasn’t in her life. They had literally grown up together.
But Erika had a job in LA. She had made new friends, and one in particular that made her stay amazingly memorable. She grew up in new ways and realized that her experiences over this summer were profoundly shaping her future. It was a very exciting time.
Then there was Missy, 2,000 miles away in the tiny Midwestern town of Hanover, Minnesota. Missy was in terrible pain and growing worse each day. Erika struggled, not knowing what to do. She couldn’t drop everything right now and go back home—or could she? Feelings of guilt consumed her. She prayed God would keep Missy alive until summer was over, until she could finish what she came to LA to do.
Missy didn’t make it. She died three weeks before Erika’s planned return. The night her parents put Missy down, they tried to feed her but she wouldn’t eat. She kept trying to stand but she’d just fall over with her tail wagging the whole time. Missy adored her family and to the very end tried to be the same cheerful, loving, and loyal dog she’d always been.
Erika still feels guilty she wasn’t there when Missy needed her most. Was she just plain selfish for staying in LA the whole summer? If Erika had known in advance that Missy would get sick and pass away, maybe she would’ve put off the trip until later. Maybe she would’ve asked her parents to take Missy with her to California. Maybe this, maybe that.
There are no easy answers for Erika. There are no instant remedies or greeting card platitudes that will make everything better. It’s not like Erika can phone God’s hotline to ask if she did the right thing. It’d be so nice if the Lord could FedEx a pill from heaven to instantly dissolve her feelings of guilt and selfishness—but that’s not how it works.
We have all gone through times when we wonder if we did the right thing. Black-and-white guilt is easier in a way. But gray-area guilt is what we deal with more often.
Should I have come home earlier to spend time with my terminally ill dog?
Should I have worked less and spent more time with my children when they were young?
Should I have taken more time with my elderly parents before they died?
Once the time has passed, once the window of opportunity has closed, there is no second chance to do things over. There is only dealing with one’s perception and memories.
If you are currently looking into a mirror and seeing a guilty face, whether it be in shades of gray or in stark black and white, there is a solution in Scripture. It doesn’t promise to be a quick fix or easy answer. It just points you in the right direction to deal with your very real feelings of guilt and personal condemnation. It points you to a choice: to embrace or to reject a personal relationship with Christ. Unlike many other options in life, this window of opportunity, this invitation from Jesus, is available for as long as you live—no matter how guilty you feel, no matter what you’ve done.
With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death (Romans 8:1-2 MSG).
Who are your most hopelessly devoted friends and loved ones? How have they been faithful to you? How have you been there for them? How has God shown Himself faithful in your life?