Chapter 11
“Mama Flora, is the divorce still on?”
“Well, miracles can happen.”
“Grandma, stop playing. Tell me the facts. I want to know how things are. And if you don’t tell me, I’ll just call Grand Pop.”
“Don’t call that fool.”
“Oh, it’s still on!”
It had been a while since she’d seen her grandmother, so Kiara decided to visit her on a Sunday afternoon. The streets of Houston were so hot if an egg got cracked and poured on the sidewalk, a fried egg would appear in seconds. Kiara had to get out of the house. So she and Myles ended up at her grandmother’s sitting in the kitchen, and helping her to fold the clothes that had just come out the dryer.
“I wish you would’ve told me that you spent the Fourth by yourself, Grandma. If I’d known, I would have picked you up and we could’ve gone to see the fireworks.”
“It’s all right, sweetie. I’m fine. I’m here.”
Kiara wanted to wrap her arms around the fragile woman and take away all her pain. Grandma wasn’t fooling anyone. Kiara could tell the way the woman walked from one room to another, holding an empty mug, sitting down and standing up. And started the process all over again.
Kiara slid a round plastic laundry basket next to her feet. She lifted up some bath towels.
“C’mon, you can tell me. What’s happening with y’all?”
“Well, he is gone, yet he’s still here, if that’s what you asking.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“John calls himself quitting me but he still has a room in this house that he comes to whenever he gets ready.”
“What type of crap is that?”
“I dunno.”
“Well, how do you feel about it?”
Her grandmother was silent.
Kiara couldn’t understand why her grandmother wasn’t throwing dishes and breaking glasses. It was like her emotions were trapped deep inside a long, dark pipe.
“Are you hungry, Grandma? We can go out and eat some crawfish.”
“I don’t want no crawfish.”
“For real? I know you lying ’cause that’s your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon.”
“Yeah, I know, but I’m not hungry.”
“Oh, you know Grand Pop may be family, Lord forgive me, but I can’t stand him right now.”
“Oh, baby, I don’t mean to pull you into this. You have your own family to worry about. How is Rashad?”
Kiara wished she could pour out her heart to her grandmother, to tell her how Rashad was acting and to admit to her all the things that made her feel depressed and confused, but she just couldn’t. She was a proud young woman who didn’t want her family to know all her dirty secrets.
“How’s Rashad? He’s great,” she chirped. “Just busy. And we are getting excited about the cruise. We plan to go snorkeling. We’ll be gambling like crazy on the ship. And I’ve been trying to consistently work out so I can buy me some pretty swimwear real soon.”
“You’re saying the right words, but your voice don’t sound right.”
“Um, Mama Flora, honestly, on the real. My husband and I are having a few issues, but I’m positive things will work out for the better.”
“If you insist, then I’m glad for you,” Grandma said in a light voice. “Keep it up. Invest in him.”
“Invest in him? Isn’t that what you did?”
“Yes, I did. So what? You do it anyway because you might get a different outcome.”
“Grandma, that sounds crazy.”
“I’m sure it does. But it’s because you don’t understand. I can’t look with regrets. Do I wish things were done differently? I believe no matter what I would have done, there were no guarantees.”
“That sounds scary to me.”
“That’s what taking a risk is about. When you walk down that aisle, you are filled with joy. It’s all about that special day. But there is a long, uncertain road ahead of you. You take the good days, mix them with the bad, and if you stay together through it all, you’ve done well.”
Suddenly her grandmother rose to her feet.
“Tell you what. You finish up the laundry and I will bake us some vegan cupcakes. How’s that sound?”
“Sounds like a winner.”
The elderly woman started banging pots and pans and gathering the utensils and ingredients. She even started to hum. She grabbed a spatula and pretended like it was a microphone. She spun in a circle and whipped back her hair.
“Are you all right?” Kiara asked.
“I’m fine. I may have a moment now and then. But that’s all it is. A moment. Just like bad times come our way, good times will return, too.”
“I guess I hadn’t looked at it that way.”
“Listen, baby, John and I were together and happy for a good minute. And believe it or not, I still have hope. You never know what can happen even when things look real dark and bleak.”
“I guess so.”
“I know so. The other day I was sitting out in the backyard patio. I couldn’t sleep. It was five something in the morning. And it was very dark. But the birds started to sing. Their voices sounded sweet and happy. Before I knew it, the sun was rising. Within seconds, light swallowed up darkness. And let me know how fast things can change. Just because they’re one way today don’t mean they’ll be that way tomorrow.”