They were in Malcolm’s car, driving back from his parents’ house, when Josie asked, “Are you really thinking about changing careers?”
“I’ve been feeling like it’s time for a change for a while now,” he replied. “And then you gave me Walden, and that made me think about what I really want. It’s been good to get back to work with my hands.” He reached over to take hers. “And I’ve loved working with you.”
“If I were still going to leave, would you still be making the same plans? Or is this because you’re worried I won’t be able to make this transition without your help?”
“I’m not the least bit worried about you,” he replied. “You’re resilient, you’re smart, and there’s that positive attitude of yours. Whatever situation is thrown at you, I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll make it work.”
“I know you’re exactly the same,” she said. “And it’s not that I’m at all doubting that you’ll make a success of any career change you want to make. I guess I’m just projecting some of my own fears onto you.”
“What are you afraid of, Josie?”
“The correct answer is nothing,” she said with a small smile. “But the honest answer is that sometimes it feels like I’m afraid of everything. But then I always remind myself I’m going to wake up in the morning, and the sun will hopefully be shining, and I’ll realize that all those fears were just the darkness playing tricks on me.”
“Late nights have a habit of messing with one’s mind, that’s true,” he agreed. “But I suspect some of your concerns have to do with the way my family is reacting. It’s almost like they can’t believe I’m managing a real relationship, or that I’ve found someone as great as you are.”
“They love you so much,” she said, “and it’s so obvious that they want you to be happy, despite their teasing. But at the same time, I know it’s never easy when other people, especially family, critique your life and the decisions you’ve made along the way.” She squeezed his hand. “It’s a testament to your closeness that they feel they can speak so openly to you.”
“Did you enjoy yourself this afternoon? Or did the Sullivans overwhelm you?”
“I loved every second of being with your family. They’re wonderful. It makes perfect sense that you turned out so well.” They had just parked and were getting out of the car when she said, “There’s one other thing I wanted to talk about. Where I’m going to live.”
He was shocked. “I insist that you stay on the houseboat with me.”
She nodded. “That’s a really lovely offer, but I can’t help but wonder if this is all moving too fast.”
“No.” He stopped them on the path and pulled her into his arms. “When you know, you know. And I know.” He stroked her cheek. “Don’t you know too?” He could feel her heart beating through the pulse point just behind her earlobe.
“I do. I know that you’re right for me and moving to London is right, but we don’t have to move in together right away.”
“There’s nothing either of us needs to be afraid of.” He lowered his mouth to hers to seal his words with a kiss. Now more than ever, he refused to let any of his doubts or that tightening in his chest rise to the surface.
“Are you nervous about Wednesday?” he asked when they got inside.
“A little,” she admitted. “But mostly excited about my first reading retreat on Elderflower Island.”
“I can’t wait to walk over with you the first day.” He pictured them hand in hand as they headed to the cottages, only this time she’d be there to welcome guests who would hopefully find their lives changed by the books Josie had chosen especially for them.
“You’re going to walk me to work?” She laughed. “Are you afraid I’ll get lost?”
“No. But I want to kiss you good luck on your first day, and I want to do it inside the cottages.”
She put her arms around him, and the expression in her eyes made his heart swell. “I would love that.”
* * *
After they’d both dealt with a few emails, they went to bed and made love. It was as wonderful as always, and Malcolm seemed even more tuned in to her pleasure, if that was possible. She shuddered to climax and heard him cry out her name as he came right behind her. Still trembling, heart pounding, she turned to kiss him, and he held her gaze, his eyes intense in the near dark.
“I love you,” he said.
She felt like her whole heart turned over. He’d shown her in so many ways that he loved her, but this was the first time he’d said those all-important words.
“I love you too,” she said.
And suddenly, all her fears seemed foolish. He loved her.
What could possibly go wrong?
* * *
Josie fell asleep in Malcolm’s arms, but even though he loved the way her body curled around his, he couldn’t sleep. There had been an email from Genevieve warning him that Kieran Taylor was becoming increasingly difficult. Malcolm knew this stage of the negotiations was always make-or-break. Damn, they’d worked long and hard on this project, and it could be one of the biggest deals of his career.
He calculated that it was midday on Monday in Christchurch. There was no harm in checking in, even if a little voice in the back of his head said he should stay out of it and let Genevieve handle things. But as Josie said—sometimes in the darkness your mind spiraled off, and the worries and the fears that you were able to push away during the day rose up.
He slid out of bed, wondering if Josie was right, and they were moving too fast. But he’d always made decisions quickly and stuck to them.
He was Malcolm Sullivan. Success was what he did. And no, he wasn’t at all concerned about things moving too fast. The tightening in his gut be damned. It was unreasonable to expect that taking any leap would be simple, that he would just go with the flow. The way he’d been doing since the moment he picked up Josie at the airport and realized how much he liked being with her. Loved being with her. It was why he’d finally said those three little words.
I love you.
He’d never said that to any other woman. Only to Josie. And he meant it with his whole heart. He did love her. Loved her so much that he could no longer envision his life without her.
He took one last look at Josie lying in his bed, her hair spread out on the pillow, her skin still slightly flushed from their lovemaking. The copy of Walden she’d given him sat on the bed shelf, almost mocking him as though it knew he was about to check business emails late on a Sunday night. Thoreau would shake his wise head if he could see Malcolm now.
Gently, he pulled up the covers over Josie’s shoulders and then crept out into the lounge. He opened his laptop. For so many years, this computer had been an appendage, his fingers always on it, never leaving his sight for too long. He’d thought he couldn’t live without it, or his phone, but this week he’d learned to use them as the tools they were meant to be and not as his masters.
It was no wonder his family was so overwhelmed by the changes in him. He was like a new man. And all because of Josie.
Out the window, he could see moonlight on the river. A bat flitted over the glossy surface of the water, and he realized he was able to see things like this again. It wasn’t that they hadn’t happened while he’d been working all those years, it was simply that he’d stopped noticing because they had no bearing on his business deals.
Truthfully, he’d achieved everything he wanted to in his career. Once House in a Box was launched globally, he would step back.
He opened his email and, almost as though he’d known it would be there, found an email from Kieran Taylor, CEO and inventor of House in a Box.
Malcolm read the email… and then read it again more slowly. His gut clenched hard in frustration. Kieran had called a board meeting and invited his bankers to discuss moving forward with the global expansion. He was inviting Malcolm Sullivan to the board meeting, but made it clear that the meeting would happen anyway. Malcolm could read between the lines that Kieran was completely overwhelmed and suffering a massive anxiety attack over taking his product global.
But to get to a Wednesday meeting in New Zealand with time to meet the board and talk some sense into Kieran meant jumping on a plane from London ASAP. He grabbed his phone, went up to the roof deck so as not to disturb Josie, and called Kieran.
“Good to hear from you,” Kieran said. “I hope you can make the board meeting. I really want to make sure we’ve got all our i’s dotted and t’s crossed. You understand.”
What Malcolm understood was that Kieran was running scared, but he didn’t say that. Instead, he reiterated all the good points of the deal he and Genevieve had worked so hard on.
“I know all that,” Kieran replied. “But if you’re asking me to commit everything to this global expansion, I need you to commit too.”
“We are completely committed to making House in a Box a global brand,” Malcolm assured him.
“Then I want you here, on the ground, running the operation. I can’t do it. I’m stretched too thin as it is. If I have to ramp up production, I’ll need you to run the business.”
Malcolm was completely taken aback. He calculated rapidly. “But you’re asking for at least a year.”
“That’s right, mate. If you believe in House in a Box the way you say you do, I need you here for a year.”
In the silence, Malcolm heard the river lapping gently against River Star’s hull. Was this the change he needed? What if he took Kieran up on his demand and moved to New Zealand for a year? He thought of all the places he’d like to show Josie. The mountains and beaches, the charming cities and sheep ranches. Because he couldn’t imagine a year without Josie.
They talked a little longer, and finally Kieran said aloud what Malcolm had already figured out. “Your being here is a nonnegotiable.” Kieran Taylor didn’t make decisions as quickly as Malcolm did, but he’d discovered the young inventor was hard line when he finally did decide.
When Malcolm got off the phone, he went inside, poured himself a two fingers of whiskey, and downed the lot in one.
This was an impossible choice.
He couldn’t ask Josie to come with him to New Zealand for a full year, the day after she’d committed to running reading retreats here on Elderflower Island.
A voice in his head said, It’s not impossible. Go. And if it’s meant to be, she’ll be waiting at the end of the year.
He tried to shake the thought off. But it just kept playing inside his head, louder. This is the deal you’ve been waiting for. Are you really going to blow it for a relationship that might not even work out?
No, he was in love with her. She was in love with him. He’d asked her to move in with him.
The voice grew to a shout. It’s only a year.
He could fly Josie out between reading retreats. They’d see each other.
If your relationship can’t make it for a year, then how strong is it anyway?
Dammit, the voice seemed to be making sense.