Josie woke, surprised and more than a little disappointed to find that Malcolm was already out of bed. She loved waking up snuggled in his arms—and then everything that came after snuggling. A delicious shiver ran through her as she thought about getting up and grabbing him to take him back to bed. They could be a little later to the cottages today. After all, they were making great progress. And with the sun shining through the boat’s windows, it was true that her fears had disappeared along with the night sky. There was no reason to be scared. They loved each other. And this time, she was certain that love was real. That it wasn’t just a lie, like it had been with her ex.
Putting on a long-sleeved shirt of Malcolm’s, she walked barefoot out into the living room. He was on his computer, typing quickly, an empty coffee cup beside him. He must have been up for a while. He looked a little guilty when he spotted her.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
She nodded, moving over to his outstretched hands. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. He tasted like freshly roasted coffee.
When he finally let her lips go, he said, “There’s something I need to talk with you about this morning, once you’ve had a cup of coffee.”
The tone of his voice was serious enough that she said, “Coffee can wait.”
“You know that deal I told you about? House in a Box?”
That was all it took for her chest to clench. But there was no reason to freak out, she reminded herself. He was simply sharing some news.
“The CEO is panicking. I need to go to New Zealand to attend a board meeting. And I might need to stay on longer.”
It was only through great force of will that she kept herself from jumping off his lap. She wasn’t going to let her doubts win at the first small issue. “How long will you have to stay?” A few weeks without him would be manageable, even though she’d miss him.
“A year.” He paused as she took the blow of his words. “Josie, I said yes.”
“Oh.” Now she did get off his lap. She walked over to the coffeepot on slightly shaky legs and poured herself a cup. She took a few sips without turning to face him, trying to figure out what this meant.
He moved behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders and gently turning her so that he could look into her eyes. “I’ll fly back as often as I can, and you can come and visit me between retreats. You’ll love New Zealand.”
“You’re going to be busy.” She wanted to be realistic about this, not create some sort of fantasy that would never happen. “And of course you should go. Of course you should take the deal. It’s what you’ve been working on for so long, after all.”
“Nothing will change for us,” he insisted.
At last, she lost some of that tightly held control. “Of course it will. We’re brand new, not even a week old. I know we care about each other—”
“We love each other.”
She nodded, but couldn’t quite bring herself to say the words. “But I’m going to be transitioning into a new job in a new country as well, and both of us are going to be busy. We shouldn’t expect too much of our relationship.”
“What are you saying? You don’t want a long-distance relationship?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we should play it by ear, see how things go in the first couple of months. And of course I’ll move out of your houseboat.”
“No! I want you to stay.”
But she couldn’t. Even when she’d thought he was going to stay on Elderflower Island, she’d felt moving in with him would be moving too fast. It had been one thing to stay temporarily on his boat for a couple of weeks, but to move in permanently? No, it was right that she find her own place. “How soon do you need to leave?”
He ran a hand over his hair in frustration. “Today.”
The breath pushed out of her lungs.
“Genevieve and I are working on a presentation for a board meeting Wednesday. The CEO would like to hammer out all the last details in person, and then move immediately on the expansion plans.”
“Do you already have your plane ticket?”
Something that looked like guilt crossed his face. “I do. I have to leave in a couple of hours. I’m sorry to miss walking you to the reading retreat for your first day, but I know you’ll do an amazing job.”
She took a deep breath, working to center herself before speaking again. “I’m happy for you, Malcolm. It’s all your hard work that’s given you this opportunity. And I want you to make the most of it, just like I know you want to. You’ve been so much help with the cottages this week, and I’ve loved every minute we’ve spent together.”
“Why does it sound like you’re saying good-bye? We still have phones, and we can talk over video, and you can fly to New Zealand too.”
She nodded, not wanting to burst his bubble. “Yes, all that’s true. But promise me you won’t let us, or thinking about my being here, hold you back.”
“You’re not holding me back. It’s exactly the opposite, Josie. Ever since I’ve been with you, you’ve lifted me up.”
She went to her tippy-toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. At that exact moment, his phone rang, and she could feel the tension already between them.
“Go ahead, it’s okay. I know this is important. I’ll just take a shower and get ready for work, and then I’ll say good-bye before you have to leave for the airport.”
In the shower, she was glad for the water pouring down her face. Because that way, she could lie to herself and say she wasn’t crying.