“Sorry, guys,” Courtney said with a moan. “I hate that I’m holding everybody up.”
Addison zipped up her parka and shoved her hands in the pockets to stave off the chilling wind. They were stuck in camp until a ranger arrived to escort the Penn State trio off the mountain. Courtney had thrown up several times through the night and had a relentless headache. They had decided this morning to descend and spend a few days on a wildlife safari before starting their internships.
“I see a truck,” Neal said as he peered through his binoculars across the plain. Luke had said the ranger could drive within two kilometers, but would have to hike from there.
Addison gauged the wind direction and stepped down from the ledge to seek shelter between two boulders.
Mary Kate followed. “Got room for me down there?”
“Sure.” She sat on the ground with her back against a rock and motioned for Mary Kate to sit across from her. After their long talk in the wee hours of the morning, she saw Mary Kate in a whole new light, one that—for better or worse—fanned her interest.
“I feel bad for those guys having to turn back, but I’m just glad it’s them and not me.”
“I know what you mean,” Addison said. “Getting this far and not making it to the summit would seriously suck. But we’re better prepared than Courtney.”
“Yeah, but nobody knows how the altitude’s going to affect them. We’re still going up, and we have four more nights before we summit. Anything can happen between now and then.”
“Are you worried?”
Mary Kate shrugged. “Nervous is probably a better word. I think I’d be sick if I didn’t make it to the top.”
Addison squeezed her knee and smiled. “I have a feeling you’re going to run off and leave us all….unless we all freeze to death here.”
“I wish they hadn’t taken our tents. I’d be waiting this out in my sleeping bag.”
“I heard Luke tell Neal and Mei that the porters were leaving early to get the best campsite at Barranco. There’s another trail that crosses there on the way up the Western Breach, so the camp will be crowded.”
“The Umbwe Route. I read about it. It’s for the more experienced climbers.”
“We’ll have the Barranco Wall tomorrow, you know.”
Mary Kate shook her head. “I can’t even think about that. I’m freezing my ass off here, and it’s what? About forty-five degrees?”
“The wind makes it colder.” Addison nodded in the direction of the mountain. “We’re headed onto the mountain today. Once we get off this plateau, we should be out of the wind.”
“I hope you’re right.” Mary Kate’s teeth were chattering.
They huddled until the ranger arrived, and then they joined the others in saying goodbye to Courtney, Rachel and Kirby.
As they gathered their packs to start the day’s hike, Luke drew them into a circle. “Does anyone else feel doubts about going to Barranco?”
“I just scored Kirby’s balaclava and gloves, so you’re not getting rid of me,” Drew said.
“Looks like you’re stuck with all of us,” Neal added.
Addison studied the faces of her fellow hikers. Only Brad seemed disinterested, but she suspected that had more to do with his father than with the challenge before them. She fell in between Jim and Mary Kate as they got underway. “So what brings you and your doting son to Kilimanjaro?”
He grinned at her exaggerated cheerfulness. “It’s his high school graduation present. It was supposed to be a bonding trip, but that isn’t happening yet. I may have waited too late.”
“Teenagers are funny animals,” Mary Kate said.
“Especially when they grow up hearing only one parent’s side of things.”
Addison related to that. “Are you and his mom divorced?”
“Ten years ago. He’s been living with her in Austin. Now that he’s eighteen, the visitation rules don’t apply anymore. I practically had to drag him here.”
Given the circumstances, it was hard for Addison to see why Brad would appreciate being dragged somewhere he didn’t want to go, especially since this was supposed to be his graduation gift. “Did you guys train together for the hike?”
“We both play a lot of tennis, so we’re in pretty good shape. Brad was ranked ninth in Texas as a junior, but he couldn’t hold it when he moved up last year.” He flashed his T-shirt, which was emblazoned with an SMU logo. “He’s going to play at my alma mater this fall though. I won the conference tournament two years in a row when I was there thirty years ago.”
“What kind of work do you do?” Mary Kate asked.
“I used to be a software developer, but I sold my company last year. Now I’m donating my time to build better systems for several of the non-profits in the Dallas area.”
Addison couldn’t help but see a bit of her overbearing father in Jim, except for the part about giving back to his community after his success. That didn’t sound like Reginald Falk at all. Brad was lucky to have a good role model, even if their relationship left much to be desired.
An hour into their hike, they left the plateau, and nearly all of the significant vegetation. The new terrain was like desert, with only an occasional shrub to decorate the mountainside. Even though they were walking slowly, the uphill climb in the brilliant sunshine had Addison sweating. When Luke called the break, she and Mary Kate went behind a boulder to undress so they could take off their long johns.
“Good thing about these rocks, because it doesn’t look like we’ll be seeing any more bushes,” Mary Kate said.
“Who knows how long we’ll have boulders to hide behind? From here, it looks pretty barren up toward the summit.” She sat on the ground to put her boots back on. “I’d give just about anything for another bath.”
“I was thinking the same thing. I thought I’d ask Gilbert to fix me a pan of water when we got to Barranco. Then I could sit in the tent and do a sponge bath.”
“That’s a great idea,” Addison said. “What’s that old saying? You wash my back and I’ll wash yours.”
“I think that’s scratch, not wash.”
“Same difference.”
“Yeah, right. Would you have said that to Drew?”
“Not a chance.” Addison grinned broadly and shook her head. She was glad to see the mock scowl on Mary Kate’s face, and took it as a sign she wasn’t offended by such an obviously flirtatious remark.
They stuffed their clothes down inside their backpacks and returned to the trail. Mei and Neal had also changed, and the others had stowed their jackets. When they started up again, everyone spread out in the line, each seemingly lost in solitary thought. The scenery was the most majestic yet, as they picked their way over three steep crests, then down into broad valleys. In the third valley, Addison’s mouth watered the instant she saw the dining tent erected. Gilbert waited with hot cream soup.
The lunch break was shorter than usual, since they were two hours behind schedule for the day. After only forty minutes, they were climbing again.
Addison lagged behind to talk to Mary Kate, who seemed subdued this afternoon. “You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden. Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, I’m just thinking about stuff.”
“Did it bother you that I asked so many questions this morning?”
“No, I like talking things out with you. You make me put what I’m thinking into words, and that helps me get clear on what I have to do.”
“You mean like breaking up with your boyfriend?”
She nodded grimly. “I just dread what everyone is going to say.”
“It’s not about what they want.” She didn’t want to add pressure to what Mary Kate already felt, but it sounded as though she needed a bit more encouragement to follow through with what she wanted to do. “I know it’s hard to go against people. I talk a big story, but I’m headed to London to work for my father, even though that isn’t what I really want. It’s just easier to follow the plan.”
“Right, but they’re going to look at me like I was from another planet if I say something like I can’t marry Bobby because I don’t find him fascinating.”
“No one’s entitled to an explanation, Mary Kate. You shouldn’t have to justify a decision like that.”
“I know.” She sighed.
“But you hate to disappoint people.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you having second thoughts about it?” Addison hoped not. People deserved to be outrageously happy when it came to love, not to feel as if they were being led to the gallows.
“No, I’m just letting it all get to me. I promised myself I wasn’t going to think about this while I was here.”
“That sounds like a great plan. Just put it out of your head.” She looked around at the breathtaking landscape, a mountain to one side and a sprawling rainforest to the other. “When will you ever see something like this again?”
Mary Kate gazed out over the scenery and smiled. “You’re so right.”
Addison loved how her face lit up. “That’s more like it.”
They had fallen back, well out of earshot of the others in the group. Still, Mary Kate lowered her voice. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Is this going to be like truth or dare?”
“Oh, no. I’m not that brave.” She chuckled without looking up. “It’s kind of what we were talking about this morning. Did you always know you were gay?”
“I always liked girls. I think I figured out the gay part when I was about fifteen. My parents had just divorced, and they thought I was just trying to get attention.”
“What were you doing?”
“Nothing. I just came out and told them. I can still hear my father. ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, Addison! Must you be so recalcitrant?’” She did her best British accent.
Mary Kate snorted. “Your father actually called you recalcitrant? My father probably doesn’t even know what that means.”
“Yeah, I had to carry a dictionary everywhere I went just to understand his insults. My mom wasn’t quite that bad, but she thought I was just going through a phase and would grow out of it.”
“When did she figure out that wasn’t going to happen?”
“Not sure she has,” she said, shooting Mary Kate a grin. She was dying to know what was prompting these questions, but was afraid Mary Kate would back off if she prodded.
“Did they ever meet any of your girlfriends?”
“Nobody met Pilar because she wouldn’t go anywhere with me.”
“That’s the TV woman?”
“Yeah, she was my first lover. I was nineteen. She was thirty- eight. Venezuelan. Beautiful, exotic. Our entire relationship happened inside her condo. I felt like I’d just invented sex, and I wanted to tell everybody.”
“Is that when you knew for sure then that you wanted to be with women?”
“Oh, yeah. Because I figured out then that sexuality—for me, anyway—wasn’t about being touched by someone. That was nice and all, but the thrill I got was from touching her.” They walked in silence for several yards, long enough to worry Addison that she had gone overboard with her explanation. “Was that too much information?”
“No.” Mary Kate shook her head vehemently, but it was obvious she was flustered. “I was just thinking about what you said…the thrill part.”
“Sometimes I don’t articulate what I’m thinking very well. What I meant was—”
“Is it just a sexual thing?”
“Of course not. Is being straight just a sexual thing?”
Mary Kate sighed and looked away. “I don’t know. You’re probably asking the wrong person.”
Addison bit her tongue to keep from asking her why. If Mary Kate had doubts about her sexuality, it was better that she express them on her own. The idea of prodding her about it seemed almost predatory now that she had realized her attraction. But if Mary Kate was looking for support, that was a different matter. “If you want to talk anything out, I’m a good listener.”
“Be careful what you ask for.”
She rested a hand on Mary Kate’s shoulder as they slowed. “I can handle it.”
The conversation tapered off as they picked up their pace to join the others. As the sun fell, the colorful tents beneath an enormous rock wall were a welcome sight.
Addison handled the water detail with Drew, giving Mary Kate some private time in their tent for a sponge bath. It was tempting to follow suit, but hunger and rest were bigger priorities. Besides, Luke had said their next campsite in the Karanga Valley had a stream, and a real bath trumped a sponge bath every time.
“You guys all right?” Drew asked. “I noticed you hanging back today.”
“We’re fine. We just can’t walk and talk at the same time.” She finished the last water bladder and set it in the line to be claimed. “Have you had any more headaches?”
“Not too bad. You okay?”
“I was worried earlier today that my appetite was leaving me, but I’m starving, so I’d say it’s returned with a vengeance.”
“I think that bit about losing your appetite is a myth started by the trail companies so you’ll have another excuse for being tired of getting potatoes morning, noon and night.”
She laughed absently and looked past him at Mary Kate, who was crawling out of their tent. “Feel better?”
Mary Kate joined her as Drew left for the dining tent. “It’s an improvement, but I still have on the same ratty long johns.”
“You can change tomorrow. Luke says there’s a stream at Karanga.”
Her eyes grew big. “I don’t even want to think how much colder it will be.”
“But it only lasts a minute.”
Mary Kate snorted. “So does being clean.”
“Good point.”
They headed into the dining tent, where Gilbert had left a bowl of oxtail soup in the center of the table.
“Anyone else thinking about tomorrow morning already?” Nikki said, looking over her shoulder at the infamous Barranco Wall.
Addison had studied the wall, a six-hundred-foot tower of rocks and outcroppings. Though it appeared to be almost vertical, she could barely see pieces of the trail that zigzagged to the top.
Gilbert entered again carrying more food. As they ate, they inventoried their various maladies, ranging from Neal’s mild headache to Ann’s upset stomach to Brad’s blisters.
“I can’t believe you brought tennis socks,” Jim said, shaking his head.
From where she was sitting, Addison could see Brad flip his father the bird beneath the table. “Brad, I have a first-aid kit with some cream and bandages. You can use whatever you need and give it back to me in the morning.”
“Thanks. It’s nice that someone cares,” he said, directing his sarcasm in his father’s direction.
Addison felt sorry for him. Though her own upbringing had been filled with the acrimony of her parents’ withering relationship and divorce, she had always known she was loved and cared for. Brad clearly had doubts, and she hoped Jim would use this trip to heal the rift between them.
The rest of dinner was relatively quiet, a likely sign folks were tired from the long hike. Addison and Mary Kate turned in as soon as they finished eating.
“I don’t know about you, but that wall intimidates the hell out of me,” Mary Kate said as she climbed into her sleeping bag. “I’ve been trying not to think about it, but I bet I have bad dreams.”
“Don’t worry. I walked over there while you were taking a bath. It isn’t as steep as it looks from here. It zigzags around a lot of the rocks and shrubs.”
“That’s a relief. I told my mother there was zero chance of me falling off a cliff.”
“It’s nice she worries about you,” Addison said, still thinking about Brad and Jim. She settled into position and zipped her bag up to her chin. “We’ll go up together tomorrow. You can dream about something else.”