I’ve started recruiting people to take part in the Mayflower Academy: Increase the Peace campaign. Well, when I say “recruiting” what I mean is I stood on a chair in the Sixth Form common room today and said, “’Ere, everyone, listen!” and told them what Mr. Bamblebury wanted. Everyone just stared at me pulling the same “Are you a mentalist?” face that I did last week.
Finally Sean Burton, who was spending his study hall sewing glitter patches onto a silver bomber jacket to go and see Kylie Minogue, spoke up and said, “Shizza, have you seen some of those kids out there? There’s one lad in Year Ten who calls himself Meatman who’s got gold teeth and a tattoo of Tupac Shakur on his arm? He shouts ‘Kill da fairy!’ everytime he sees me!” Lots of folks nodded like they knew him. “Y’know, Shiz,” Sean said, “I ain’t overly concerned with increasing Meatman’s peace. In fact, I’m sort of hoping someone shoots him soon.”
“Thank you, Sean, that’s ever so helpful,” I said, although to be honest I could see his point. I started to panic a bit then. What the bloody hell was I going to do? But suddenly, Joshua Fallow stands up and says, “OK, Shiraz Bailey Wood, put my name down. I want to increase the peace!”
So I say, “Are you serious, Joshua?”
And he says, “Yeah, it’s a good idea. We should do something…. I’ll help you organize it. Just tell me what you want to do and I’ll do it.”
I wrote his name down and gave him a little smile ’cos despite him being proper up himself he had totally saved my life. Joshua gave me little wink and I felt a bit funny.
Of course, the moment Joshua says he’ll help, lots of other people like Saf and Sean and Luther and Sonia and Carrie said they’d get involved too. We are the “Mayflower Academy: Increase the Peace Initiative.”
Crapping hell—now we really have to do it.