Studying at my house is proper impossible. IMPOSSIBLE! I’ve told our Murphy a thousand times that he can’t play bloody Dubstep in his room when I’m reading my Shakespeare but he just don’t get it at all. I hate him sometimes.
In the end I went over to Carrie’s house as we’re supposed to have finished Henry IV Part One by tomorrow. Carrie wasn’t much use at all. In fact she was a proper distraction. When I got to Draperville, Carrie was lying on her bed staring at the beauty section of In Touch.
Carrie said that eyes are going to be very big news next spring/summer season NOT lips like in autumn/winter. So I said, “Bloody hell, Cazza! You love your cupid-bow lips! What are you going to do!?” So Carrie says, “Doesn’t matter, Shizzle, I’m going to start doing smudge kohl eyes instead like Tabitha Tennant did at the TV Quick awards.”
So I said, “Wooo, dat is well nang, Cazza, but do you think we should read Henry IV Part One now?”
And Carrie said “Mmm… yeah, but first, what do you reckon about Saf? Do you reckon he’ll end up snogging me if we do “Increase the Peace” campaign together? Man, he is well choong!”
The only time Carrie really picked up her Shakespeare was when we heard her dad on the landing shouting, “Carrie? I’m back!” Barney walked in and saw Carrie pretending to study and looked really happy. “Would the future CEO of Draper Hydration and her best friend fancy some Chinese food? ’Cos I’m putting a takeaway order in,” he asked.
“Ooh thank you, Dad!” Carrie said. “Can me and Shiz share a Set Meal A? But change the pork balls to chicken in black beans and get shrimp crackers too… THANK YOU DAD, YOU’RE THE BEST!”
The second he shut the door she picked up In Touch again and started reading an article called “Hollywood Tips for Heavenly Eyelashes.”