Seventeen is turning out to be a right old headbend of an age. Here was me thinking it might be the year when I get closer to working out what I’m doing with my life. Instead, every day just makes me more confused.
So I’m sitting in the library today pretending to read about the Golden Age of Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain, except I’m not really. I’m listening to proper old-skool Wu Tang Clan on my cell phone and doodling a drawing of a fancy cat with a tiara on onto my notebook and staring out the window. All of a sudden a load of bags and files slam down on the desk and I look up and it’s Saf and Josh and Carrie all swarming around me.
“Hard at it as usual,” said Joshua, looking at my cat which for some reason had dangly earrings and buck teeth which I reckon, if it was analyzed by a head specialist might signal that I am some sort of nutjob.
“Aw, leave her, Josh,” said Carrie. “Shizza works harder than all of us.”
“Thank you, Carrie,” I said, but by this point Carrie had her tongue halfway down Saf’s throat and was pinching his bum at the same time.
“Oh, take it somewhere private!” groaned Joshua. “It’s like watching feeding time at the bloody warthog pen.”
The pair wandered off to look at books together.
Joshua sat down opposite me and stared right in my face.
“Mr. Bamblebury has bought a twelve-channel mixing board for the music room with our quiz money,” he said.
“Flaming hell! That’s good,” I said. Josh nodded slowly.
“We should do another quiz or a raffle or something,” Josh said. “We could make enough to get new mics and crap like that.”
“Yeah,” I said. Then I thought for a bit.
“Wow,” I said. ‘You proper care about all this ‘Increase the Peace’ thing don’t you?”
Joshua looked at me, then he burst out laughing.
“No. I honestly couldn’t give a crap,” he said.
“So why are you doing all this then?” I said.
Joshua looked at me like I was a bit simple. “Shiraz, have you any idea how good all this charity stuff looks on your university application forms? Raising money? Helping the community? Don’t say you didn’t think about that too?”
My cheeks went a bit hot then.
“No, I didn’t think about that. I’ve never thought nothing about university applications. I don’t even think I’m going to university.”
Joshua narrowed his eyes.
“What?” he said. “Why aren’t you thinking about it? You SHOULD go to university. Why wouldn’t you go?”
“Well, I dunno,” I said, “I’ve never really imagined it. No one in my family has ever gone to uni. Dunno why.”
Joshua thought for a few seconds, mulling it over.
“Well, that’s just wack,” he said. “What you going to do instead? Stay in Goodmayes? Marry that Wesley bloke with the modded car and the sovereign ring?”
I cringed when Joshua said that. I wish Wes had never worn that bloody ring to quiz night.
My face must have looked sad then ’cos Josh stopped being so pushy.
“Look, I’m not being tight, Shiraz,” said Josh. “I’m just saying. You’re clever. Really clever. And funny. And good fun.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“And pretty. And sexy. With a nice set of jugs.”
“Joshua!” I said.
“Sorry, sorry. My special brain pills haven’t kicked in today yet,” he said. “My mouth is out of control.”
I didn’t say anything. I just looked at him and felt really squelchy and hot inside. Like I never feel with my Wesley.
“Hey, anyway,” said Josh. “Has Ms. Bracket told you about the Christmas class trip yet?”
“No!” I said.
“We’re going to see King Lear at the Globe theater on the Southbank in London.”
My heart went boom when he said that. I love London. Ever since me and Wesley drove there alone last year it’s always felt like it’s there, eleven miles away being proper exciting without me.
“And then…” said Joshua. “And this is the unofficial, not Ms. Bracket bit, we’re going clubbing afterward!”
“No! Straight up?” I said.
“True fact,” said Joshua. “I’m sorting it out.”
Then the bell started to ring for next class so we both began collecting our stuff. “And I hope you’re coming, Shiraz Bailey Wood. ’Cos it’s going to be Christmas and we’re going to go partying. And it’s going to be messy. And besides… I want my Christmas snog.”
And with that he walked off leaving me more confused about life than I’d possibly ever been EVER.