WEIRD DAY. Josh never called me last night like he said he would ’cos we sort of half said we’d maybe go to the AMC Loews, but I texted at 5PM to check and he never texted me back and then his phone was turned off. He’s not like Wesley when it comes to plans. He’s sort of unpredictable. But I’m fine with that though ’cos at least I’ve got lots of space. Anyway Josh rang me this morning and said, “Sorry, babycakes, I ended up going out with my sort-of cousins in North London.” And I said “No worries, that’s fine.” Because it totally was.
“Come over and bring your King Lear notes!” he said, so I jumped in the shower right away and made myself look all glam and bling and got there as soon as I could ’cos I’d proper missed him. So I got to Josh’s house and rang the doorbell and he answers the door and said, “Come down into the kitchen for a bit, me and Mum are in there.”
So I went into the kitchen and Mrs. Fallow was sitting at the table, looking at the magazine from the Observer newspaper and drinking coffee and eating a bar of expensive looking dark chocolate. Weird opera music was playing on a little stereo on the counter and a big black cat called Marx was sitting on the Sports Section, washing his bum.
To be honest, I didn’t feel very welcome in there, ’cos when Mrs. Fallow saw me she reckoned she’d never met me before again. Then eventually she remembered she had and then she said, “Remind me. You’re Joshua’s friend from where precisely?” doing a scan of my hoodie and hoops just like last time.
And I felt like saying, “I’m not his friend. I’m his girlfriend!” But it didn’t seem the right thing to do. Then she stood up and opened the door of this weird iron cupboard thing that looked like an oven but can’t have been.
“Mayflower Academy,” I said, not knowing whether to sit down or stand up and what the weird oven-cupboard thing was. So I said, “What is that?” and she just looked at me with this kind of smile that wasn’t a proper smile and said, “It’s an Aga.” I just nodded like I knew what that was.
Then Josh got a plate of banana bread and granola bars and some chips and pomegranate juice for us both and we went upstairs and snogged loads and lay about on his sofa. I couldn’t stay long though ’cos I was going down to bingo with Nan tonight at Chadwell Heath.
As I was leaving Josh’s house I thought I’d pop down into the kitchen and say a quick goodbye to Mrs. Fallow then she might remember me next time, but as I got halfway down the hall I could hear her on the phone with someone.
“Oh I know,” she was laughing. “I’m terrible, I know! I KNOW! I’ll go to hell… Ha ha ha! The thing is it was Josh’s father’s idea to send him to Mayflower Academy. ‘Oooh it’s a Center of Excellence now,’ he said! ‘Think of the cash we’ll save on school fees,’ he said! ‘It’ll make Joshy more streetwise,’ he said!”
I should have just walked away and stopped earwigging then, but I stayed a bit longer and then Mrs. Fallow laughed her nutty laugh again and said, “Oh God, I know, Jocasta, I’m just being wicked. It’s just, for the love of god, I make my donation to Christian Aid! I’m sponsoring a little African girl in Burkina Faso! I don’t see why I’ve got to feed the chavs from the local projects too. Ha ha ha!”
I felt proper sick then so I ran out of the door and ran home. I’m sure she wasn’t talking about me. I’m just being a bit paranoid, aren’t I?
She never meant me.