No word from Cava-Sue. I hope she’s OK. There’s a small chance she’s been captured by a rare mountain cannibal tribe who’ve tried to barbecue her head to shut her up from telling them interesting facts about themselves.
I’m a bit narked today ’cos I was just speaking to Carrie and she says Saf is taking her to Le Galle restaurant in Romford tomorrow night for a three-course Valentine’s dinner. Then I spoke to my nan and she reckons Clement is cooking her dinner round at his place, then I come home and our Murphy is stealing a red felt pen from my room to write a card to some girl he’s seeing and he’s covering it with hearts and kisses like he is proper in love. (Murphy! In love?? With a girl called Rema in Year Nine. Not a PS2 game. Mental.)
So I ask my Joshua what he was getting me for Valentine’s Day today and he laughs at me like I am a weirdo and says, “Ha! You’re kidding, aren’t you? Don’t tell me you buy into that capitalist conspiracy? It was invented by a card shop to make money. What do you want, one of those big tacky teddy bears with I WUV YOU on it too! Ha ha ha ha!” So I said, “No, course I don’t, but, well, but…”
And I didn’t have no answer ’cos Josh has a way of making you feel really small which he must have learned off his mum. So I said, “Well I just want to feel like you CARE!” and Josh says “Oh, OK, OK, Shiraz. Look I didn’t want to spoil the surprise but I’ve actually booked one of them planes to fly past Thundersley Road dragging a banner. I’ll just run along now and call air traffic control and see if it’s on its way.”
And I said “You haven’t???!!!” And he said, “No, of course I haven’t, you silly mare! You know how much I’m into you, what MORE do you want?”
I’m sure he must be kidding me. ’Cos everyone likes Valentines Day really, don’t they?