I went to Ilford Mall with my nan today to find her a bridal outfit. Murphy came too and went to Marks and Spencer with Clement. My mother chucked Murphy some money before they went and said, “And come back with something smart! Not something a bum would put on for a court appearance!”
I can’t believe she trusted Murphy to buy his own outfit. Then again, I suppose he has grown up a lot over the last year. He spends all his time now texting Rema and he’s even giving Delano and Meatman a wide berth. He’s actually quite mature. I can’t help thinking it was the “Naughty Babes” calendar that did it.
Nan and Clement are so in love with each other. They walk about together holding hands and they finish each other’s sentences and they just seem to know what the other one is thinking all the time. It makes me feel odd when I’m with them ’cos I feel properly on my own. My nan asked me if I wanted to bring a young man to her wedding so I have someone to dance with and carry me home when I’ve got blisters. I said I’d have a think.
Me and Nan went into Marks and Spencer to choose her hat when Clement wasn’t looking. The assistant asked her what sort of color she was looking for and Nan said, “I want something really gay!” The assistant nearly fell over backward with shock, so I explained my nan meant “lively and happy and fun” ’cos that’s what gay used to mean, last time Nan got married. I like hanging about with Nan and Clement, they’re from another world.