All told, Nan and Clement’s wedding was lovely. Proper lovely.
If I ever get married, which won’t be for a real long time, then I want it to be just like that. Obviously, not at Romford Registry Office and marrying an old geezer, no, but I want the room to feel like that when I walk up the aisle. Like everyone is totally happy for me and everyone can feel how much we’re in love. Nan looked proper amazing in her cream suit from Marks and Spencer and her big cream hat. And Clement looked like a right old handsome bloke in his navy blue suit and dark gray fedora. And Murphy never lost the ring. And Mum never scared off Rema by asking when her and Murphy were getting hitched. And Dad only got a little bit drunk at the party and did his “Elvis on the toilet” impression once.
And Clement’s toast was just perfect ’cos he said he wanted to be with Nan forever and he felt like his life began again when he saw her come into bingo at Chadwell Heath and he loved her with all his heart and soul. We were all nearly crying when he said that. And then everyone had a laugh and a drink and a dance and even more of a dance and eventually my feet began to hurt in my new shoes and Wesley saw I was knackered and he told Mum he’d take me home.
Wesley Barrington Bains II gave me a piggyback ride down the road from the social club in the moonlight. We both never said much all the way along the road, ’cos we both knew something was wrong between us and neither of us wanted to spoil the day. And eventually Wesley said, “So do you reckon that’ll ever be me and you one day, innit?”
And I felt awful in my heart when he said that so I took a deep breath and said, “Well, if you want me to be proper honest, Wesley, no.”
And then I told him about me and Carrie going to London. It felt like it would be properly tight if I never said anything right then. I explained it all in lots and lots of words about leaving Goodmayes and experiencing life and I tried my best to make him see.
And when I stopped talking he had tears in his eyes. And his bottom lip looked like he was having to try proper hard to stop it wobbling, ’cos he was trying to be tough like boys do and not let me see I’d broken his heart.
He wandered off into the moonlight down Thundersley Road and I watched his baggy silhouette until he turned the corner, then I went upstairs and got into bed and curled into a ball and cried.