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Jazzy clenched her hands around the faux black-as-ink leather steering wheel of her beat-up 1990 Bronco.
Listening to the almost silent sniffles of her little brother along with the blasting radio that he’d begged her to turn up so he could feel it. She’d done as he asked with a choked-up sob strangling her while numb fingers twisted the knob.
Tightening her eyes shut, she prayed desperately for a bit of hope, just a little dash of light in the darkness that was swarming the light in both of their lives with no vision past the fog clouding their future.
“Why, Jesus?” She prayed aloud with no fear of being overheard.
Just nineteen clinical words and the slight grip she had on life snapped until she was ready to let go and just break in the midst of the storm and the truth and pain that were burning through her heart. Through her little brother, Jeff's heart. The lost feeling at the words of the doctor.
I'm so sorry to have to break this to you, Miss Logan. But your brother is losing his hearing.
How did this happen? Why him?
Hadn't her little brother suffered enough already?
Wasn’t it enough that he could barely hear up until now?
Didn’t they – no, he deserve a little joy in his life instead of more trouble?
“Why, Jesus?” She begged God, hoping against hope for an answer that didn't break her heart more.
Tears tickled her face as the Bronco sputtered in protest of being driven more than a few miles as she drew to a stop at yet another red light. Seriously, why were there five lights in this town that wasn't even that big nor truly that small.
A taste of salt hit her mouth as she quickly swiped a sweatshirt-covered forearm over her face. A flash of green caught her attention and she noticed that it was the second time a green light had come while she sat at the same light.
A shift of her arms and she took her turn to pull forward and a flash of blue showed that she'd messed up yet another thing in an already messed up day as tears clogged her throat and she pulled onto the side of the road. Leaning her head against the steering wheel more tears streamed down her face and mixed with the raindrops that had fallen on her clothes before she got in her truck. Rolling her window down she drew her information and papers from the dash and waited for the officer to reprimand her for swerving on the road and missing the light the first time.
Turning to face her little brother, she waved her hand to get Jeff’s attention before smiling and motioning in some messy form that it was okay so he wouldn't freak out at the sight of the police officer.
Face twisting in a winch, Kent slipped a hand through his wind-ruffled hair before taking a deep breath and forcing a friendly smile as he strode toward the door of the young lady's car.
Even if she hadn’t seemed so distracted as to possibly be a danger when driving at the stop light the sight of her tear-stained face and the sad little boy in the back of the window would have had him pulling her over. The way the sight had memories of when he was a single teen 'father' and people judged or cared only added to his wanting–no, needing to make sure they were all right even if they didn’t know each other.
There was nothing in the world he would have changed for his young son, who was by blood his little brother, the son of both of their birth parents, but at times he doubted whether or not he had been the right one to raise Andrew – now going by Casey – by himself.
The look of fear, pain, and pure grief on the girl's face wasn't the same as the look he once wore, but it was close enough that he was praying he was wrong and that she wasn't alone like the expression seemed to scream, and that if it is she was that God would use him and that the girl would find healing, joy, and if she didn't know Him that she would come to know Him and believe on His truth.
A sense of calm came as he silently ended his prayer and strode forward with a grin. “Hi, ma’am!” He greeted, pondering for a single moment how to contain the situation before him without seeming like a creep. Giving himself a crisp nod, he stepped back slightly from the bronco. “I was just wondering if you need some help?” For once, he was thankful for the laid back attitude that the police approached things in the small town.
The tear-stained girl seemed taken aback by his easy manner as she closed her eyes and dropped her head against the headrest. Scratching at his hairline, Kent wondered what to do, if he should call the chief to get the older man’s wife out there since there weren’t any women on duty at the moment or maybe call the volunteer EMS to get one of their girls over to help since the young woman was clearly in need of help in some way even if it wasn’t physical.
The desperation that had been clawing its way up her throat eased and Jazzy nearly gave a hysterical laugh as the police officer seemed to come to a decision and sank back on his heels in a sort of crouch. “I can get one of the girls from the EMS over here if you need some help from another woman?”
Shaking her head at his kindness, she begged her racing heart to calm down and wondered if this was God’s way of answering her prayers. “Uh, no. Thank you, though. It’s just been a bad day.” Biting her lip, which was already dry turned into a frown before she gave a muttered please! and made eye contact with the officer. “We just got some bad news today.” She tilted her head in Jeff’s direction.
The officer nodded, hands lightly folded where they rested on his raised knees. “I’m sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help? I can pray for you.” His warm voice had her barely holding back tears as his words gave an unexpected comfort.
“If you’re serious about that prayer, we’re desperately in need of them.”
“Well, then you should know God’s always there to hear the desperate, happy, sad, and scared prayers of His children. Now, what’s say we get off the street and I get you and your boy a treat at the café right there?” The man’s grin grew with each word, his eyes alight with joy as he pointed out a cute, but tiny sign on the old building across the street from their cars.
Nodding with more tears in her eyes, she looked in the mirror to see Jeff silently studying the man with a frown that was quickly receding as he saw the way Jazzy’s shoulders relaxed. She’d never been more thankful for his skill in seeing more from people’s actions and manners than she was right at that moment.
The officer had disappeared to his patrol car at the last word of her acceptance of his invitation to the café, deciding it was best to hurry, she followed behind him praying every inch of the way.