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“HOW DARE YOU!” CARTER roared. “Get the hell out of my head!”
Rae stumbled backwards and half fell into Devon’s arms, stunned by both the force of the memory and Carter’s explosive anger.
“Rae,” Devon whispered into her ear, “what’s going on?”
She couldn’t answer him. She couldn’t even bring herself to be properly afraid of Carter. She was too busy trying to recollect the image of her young mother. Beth couldn’t have been much older than Rae’s age now. Their resemblance was extraordinary! People had told her that before, but she’d never realized how similar they were. They could pass as twins and no one would have said a thing—except her mom would be way older now.
As she remembered the sun glinting off her mother’s raven hair, she took one of her own curls absently between her fingers. They even had the same hair. She’d always thought it was her dad’s hair, like Kraigan. Maybe it was a bit of both.
“Are you even listening to me?” Carter raged on.
“You were in love with her,” Rae repeated, softer than before. She had tuned out for a moment, but she looked up at him now as if realizing the implications of it for the first time. “Why didn’t you tell me? Did she even know?”
It seemed as though the one thing Carter wasn’t prepared for was quiet curiosity. His attacks crumbled and he simply stared at Rae with hollow, burning eyes. After a long, awkward minute, it was actually Jennifer who stepped forward.
“That was a long time ago,” she murmured in a surprisingly gentle voice. “Let’s just focus on the present, shall we? You said you went to London to recover a box...” All at once she straightened and became hyper-alert, reminding Rae of the leopard waiting just below. “Where’s the box now? Did you open it?”
Rae shook her head distractedly. “No, I’d like to stay on this for a minute.” She folded her arms over her chest and fixed Carter with a critical gaze. “What happened between you and my mom?”
Carter managed to calm down, but he still had visibly little control of himself. “Nothing.” It came out as almost a whisper. “She was with Simon. I admired her from afar. Nothing ever happened. The two of them were in love. There was never room for anyone else. And it is none of your business.”
“Why not? You’ve used your tatù on me. Why would I not have the right to use it back?” She hadn’t meant to use it. Her body had simply flipped, and Carter had obviously not been prepared any more than she had.
For whatever reason, Jennifer flashed him a pained expression and started abruptly pacing in the back of the room.
Rae stared at her, as if mesmerized by the human pendulum. Hadn’t she thought Jennifer was in love with Carter and he had no idea? These tatùs sure complicated lives.
Devon and Rae stared between them, completely dumbfounded.
“Leave it to you, Rae,” Devon murmured into her ear. “Weirdest debriefing. Ever.”
She was still in his arms, and when he spoke a whole other wave of implication clicked into place. She turned back to Carter. “And you see fit to put us on probation?” She pointed a shaking finger at him as her blood boiled in rage. “Here you are, punishing me for breaking one of your precious curfew rules, and you fell in love with another tatù!”
“You’re one to talk!” Carter spat. “Look at the two of you!”
Devon quickly released Rae from his arms, but it was too late. The damage had already been done. “Sir, it’s nothing—”
“He’s in love with you!” Carter threw up his hands in exasperation. “No matter how many times I tried to separate the two of you. How many missions I sent him on just to keep him away. It didn’t matter. He’s head over heels in love with you, and I honestly think the only person who can’t see it, Miss Kerrigan, is you.”
Rae’s heart froze in her chest and she sensed, rather than felt, Devon stiffen beside her. However, Carter wasn’t finished. He ignored the stricken looks on their faces and kept right on going.
“And whether you love him back?” He laughed derisively. “Well, Rae, your parents’ cautionary tale be damned. The only thing more obvious than the fact that Devon loves you is how much you love him back. Even when I tried to distract you by pairing you up with Julian, you held strong. Everyone knows. The students, the faculty. You tried to deny it and hide it, but you can’t miss a fire when it’s burning right in front of you.”
Jennifer swept forward and put a cautioning hand on Carter’s shoulder. “Carter, please; you’ve made your point. I think what everybody needs now is to calm down and get back to—”
Carter flicked her hand off. “Tell me, Mr. Wardell,” he sneered in Devon’s face. “How long did you think you could keep it a secret? From your father? From the Council? You’re a smart boy, so tell me. How long did you think you could hide the fact you’d fallen in love with one of our own?”
Devon’s face was a warzone of different emotions, but when he spoke his voice came out restrained and calm. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. I think Jennifer’s right, you’re obviously unwell.” The words were cold as ice. “Perhaps you need to take some time to collect yourself and we’ll finish the debriefing later.”
Carter laughed, and the sound of it sent chills up Rae’s spine. She had never seen him so unhinged. Not even with Lanford or Kraigan. Even at the worst of times he’d always managed to keep it together, to act like he had a purpose. But now? He seemed completely deranged. Pacing around in frantic circles, running his fingers repeatedly through his hair. From the minute Rae said Beth’s name, it was like he didn’t realize he still had tears running down his face.
“Really?” Carter laughed again. “You’re going to deny it? You’re going to sit there in front of me like the Privy Council’s golden boy and claim you’ve no feelings for this girl?”
What the hell is going on? Why is he acting like this?
Rae sent the message telepathically to Jennifer and waited anxiously for a reply. There was an almost imperceptible pause in her mentor’s pacing and she shot Rae a look. A look that revealed nothing, but warned her to keep quiet.
Devon ground his teeth together and struggled to keep himself in check. “Maybe...maybe I did once. When she first got to Guilder, I admit I was attracted to her. Lanford paired us up. He forced me to spend time with her. I was a kid... who wouldn’t have a crush on the pretty new girl?” He shook his head and stared at Carter with honest, open eyes. “That was years ago and I never did a thing about it. I’ve moved on. I’ve dated other people.”
That chilling laugh stopped him dead in his tracks. “The fact that you would even try to deny it is hilarious.” Carter’s eyes gleamed. “After all the time we’ve spent together? After all the times I’ve seen your memories?”
It was like the temperature in the room dropped ten degrees. Devon’s lips parted like he was going to say something, but instead he just stared at Carter in horrified silence. His face pale with shock. “You didn’t...”
Carter grinned triumphantly. “Every handshake, every smile. Every time I clapped you on the shoulder when you came back from a mission. I know how you feel, Devon. I saw it.”
“You used your tatù on me,” Devon’s voice rose in anger, “without my permission?!”
It was an unspoken rule in the tatù community. As basic as not raising a hand against your neighbor. You never used your tatù on someone else without first informing them you were going to do so. It was why Rae was so careful about whose talents she got to absorb. Sure, kids played around and pranked each other back at Guilder, but never in a serious way. Not like this. This was low and dirty. It was unforgivable.
“Every day,” Carter said softly. It was like the weight of the confession had subdued him. “I saw Rae how you see her; I saw her through your eyes. I haven’t felt a love like that since...” He stopped short at the look on Devon’s face.
For a wild second, Rae thought Devon might actually leap across the room and beat Carter to death.
He crossed the floor in a blur of speed, but instead of striking Carter he just stood there. Then he did the last thing Rae ever expected. He rolled up his sleeve and extended his arm. “Then look again.”
Carter hesitated, but Devon’s eyes flashed as he insisted.
“Look again, Carter. And tell me what you see.”
After a heavy pause Carter slowly, almost reluctantly, reached out and wrapped his fingers around Devon’s arm by his elbow. Both Jennifer and Rae watched with wide eyes as the tatù went into effect. Both men flinched, almost as if they’d been startled by something, then they locked eyes.
Devon stared at Carter. Carter stared into Devon’s thoughts.
Both were unreadable. Both were unmovable.
Then suddenly, Carter’s eyes filled with fresh tears. His head snapped up and he stared at Devon like he’d never seen him before, searching his face as he slowly released his arm.
“Now,” Devon was barely breathing, “tell me how what you saw is wrong.”
You could have heard a pin drop. Rae felt like she was going to explode with unanswered questions, but the two men stared each other down like it was only the two of them in the room. A full minute passed, each second dragging on like hours.
Just as Carter opened his mouth to say something, Devon stormed from the room.
Rae blinked. What the hell just happened?!
In the beat of the next second she tore off after him. She didn’t care that she was leaving an official meeting without being dismissed. She didn’t care she’d left her mentor and her boss in the dust behind her. She had to get to Devon. She needed to find out what all this meant.
As she breezed through the door, she heard Jennifer call, “Rae, we’re going to sort this out. We’ll send Molly back to Guilder so Carter and I can move in above you. We’ll...make this right.”
Rae didn’t respond. No freakin’ way was crazy Carter living above her. She slammed the door behind her and took off across the lawn. Damn it. Sometimes she forgot how fast Devon was. There was no sign of him. Slipping into his own tatù, she put on a rush of speed and darted across the sweeping grass, flying through the door of the main house before coming to an abrupt stop in the living room.
Devon was standing in the middle of the floor, staring out towards the gardens. His back was to her, so she couldn’t gauge his mood. She had a pretty damn good idea, though.
He didn’t move as she came up softly beside him, didn’t even acknowledge her. He just stood there. Unreadable. Unmovable. Exactly how he’d been with Carter just moments before. To be honest, Rae wasn’t even sure he’d registered her presence.
“Devon?” She put a tentative hand on his wrist and felt him jump beneath her. “Are you...are you okay?”
“Rae,” he answered in reply.
Much to her great surprise, he relaxed his posture and smiled. Without seeming to think about it, he reached out and stroked her hair.
She didn’t want to ask, but she had to. She had to know. One way or another. She had to know what it was that Carter saw. Her very future depended on it. “Devon...what happened back there? What did—what did Carter see?”
There was a little pause, like the plunge before the fall, before Devon gave her a half-smile and tucked a stray lock behind her ear. “Rae, did I ever tell you that when I was growing up I had a dog?”
She blinked. “Um...no. To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I really care.”
He smiled again but continued, undeterred. “When I was about five or six, we were living in the countryside outside of London. It was a big old manor house, much too big for just the three of us, and I was lonely. I missed my city friends and my city life. Even at five years old I had high expectations.” He chuckled. “Anyway, I asked my father and mother one day if I could get a dog. A companion to play with as I roamed the empty halls and gardens. My mother didn’t care much, but my father flat-out refused. He hated animals and didn’t want to have one on the property. But, as fate would have it, a farmer hit a stray dog on the road outside our house the very next day.”
Devon’s eyes grew distant as he remembered, while Rae was in a state of frozen anticipation. He had never much talked about his childhood, so she was absolutely mesmerized by the story. But at the same time, she had her own story that needed finishing. Couldn’t this wait?
“The poor thing was lame in two legs and had a couple broken ribs,” he continued. “Couldn’t clean, walk, or feed itself. My father was disgusted. He headed inside to get his hunting rifle to shoot it, but I threw myself in front of it. I begged him to let me keep it, just long enough to nurse it back to health. My mother threw her clout on my side, and eventually, however reluctantly, he agreed. I got to work the very next day.
“First I made a bed for her. I cleaned her off and cooked her what I thought was a suitable ‘dog meal’ from whatever I found in the kitchen. Then, with my mother’s help, I braced her broken ribs. I spent hours every day, sitting with her outside. Sometimes I even read to her.” He chuckled again at his boyish silliness. “Days stretched into weeks, which stretched into months. Eventually, she got strong enough to take care of herself. When my father came home one day and saw her walking around, I was terrified he’d take her away. But he just looked at me, simple as you please, and said, ‘Son, I guess she can stay’.”
When the story finished, Devon returned his gaze to the window. The same peaceful, unconcerned smile still lingering on his face. Eventually, Rae broke the silence.
“Okay so,” her voice dropped to a whisper, “I’m the dog?”
Devon turned to face her square on. “Carter saw that I’m absolutely in love with you. In a way that doesn’t know boundaries or rules. In a way that people write novels and poetry about. You’re my every thought. My every concern. And my every hope for the future. All I want is you, Rae. You’re my whole life.”
Rae’s heart was beating so hard she could see it pounding in her chest.
You’re my whole life.
It was her fairytale. Her dream. All wrapped up in four neat little words.
But that meant...
“Wait...” she said slowly, “that’s what Carter saw? The head of the Privy Council?”
Devon chuckled and took her gently by the hands. “I guess I’m not making myself clear. I don’t care, Rae. This isn’t some passing fancy for me. I want to...” He stared deeply into her eyes, rubbing soft circles on her palms. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I tried to fight it.” He laughed ruefully. “Lord knows I tried to fight it. But at the Royal Tea Gala, when I thought I’d lost you...I realized I could never live without you. Even if that meant just working alongside you and never admitting my feelings, it would always be you. You’re it for me, Rae. I’m done—cashing in all my chips. All I want is a life spent forever with you.”
For one of the first times in her life, Rae was utterly speechless. She felt like she was floating off the floor, unable to stay grounded in the face of such euphoria. Everything Devon was saying, all his feelings and hopes for the future, she felt them stirring deep in her own heart. It had always been this way, she realized. She’d just needed him to say it aloud to know it for herself.
They were meant for each other.
There was nothing in the world that could ever change that.
“I...” The dizzy happiness she was feeling was making it hard to speak. “I want that too.”
“You do?” Devon almost laughed in relief, bringing their faces together so they were only an inch or two away. “I thought maybe...maybe I’d missed my chance.”
Rae shook her head fiercely. “Devon, how could you miss your chance? It’s always been you. I think...I think I’ve actually known it from the moment we met. You’re the one for me.”
His smile was almost blinding and she shut her eyes for a split second to remember it. This was a moment she would never forget. She knew it in her heart. Years and years down the road, she’d look back and realize this was the moment that everything changed.
Then he kissed her.
She closed her eyes again and vanished, losing herself completely in that kiss. Her hands tangled in his hair as his laced around her lower back, holding her tight against him. In all her life Rae had never felt more centered, more right. It was quite simply the happiest she had ever been, except it wasn’t a kind of happiness she was used to. It was the kind of happiness that filled a part of you that you never knew was missing. The kind of happiness you felt when you finally, after a long journey, came home.
The consequences be damned. They could deal with them tomorrow.
Today, they were in their own little world. Tonight was for them.
Rae hardly even noticed as Devon picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.
This was their fairytale. For however long it lasted.
