It was very hard to sleep last night, knowing Paisley was so close, but not here with me. But I'm glad she had girl’s night and got to hang out with friends. Even though I know they were talking about me, and I wanted to ask, but figured it best not, too. I'm still new to this whole couple thing, and I haven't seriously dated before, so I'm still learning.
"Hey," Noah greets me.
"Man, aren't you sick of me yet?"
Noah hung out with me, while the girls did their thing. He said Lexi kicked him out of the house, and I needed the distraction, so it worked out. We had dinner, then played some cards, and just talked, more than we have in the past. Noah is a great guy, who also got dealt a shit hand, when an IED blew up and injured most everyone in his unit.
If you ask him though, he doesn't regret it, because it brought him Lexi, and he's channeling it all into this place, and I’ll agree, it's a great outcome for him.
"Playing cards with you? Yes, but I heard back from the cop on Alec, the kitchen guy, and wanted to tell you." He comes in and sits on the couch.
"Is it that bad?" I ask, reading his face.
"Yeah. His fingerprints tied him to another name out of Atlanta. He has several warrants out for his arrest, including rape and murder. Apparently, he stalked a girl he worked with for months, hounding her for date after date. She kept turning him down, so he kidnapped her, brutally raped her, and then murdered her and dumped the body, and fled. The body was discovered the next day and has his DNA all over it."
"Didn't you do a background check on him?"
"Of course, I did with the name he used. It's his brother’s ID, who hasn't talked to him in a decade. They look a lot alike, so they passed with the company we use."
"Well, you obviously need a new company," I mutter.
"I obviously need you, so do us all a favor and hurry your ass up here."
"How did you find out about me?"
I did security and intelligence work in the military. It's something I hadn't shared with Noah, though.
"Doing some digging. I was hoping to find something that might help you back when you weren't talking, except for a grunt here and there."
"Maybe, let's not mention the gory details to Paisley?"
"I’ll let you tell her, and I plan to keep the gory details from Lexi as well."
Noah leans forward, resting his elbow on his knees and folds his hands. “Listen, I know you still aren't talking to your therapist.”
"So, we are no longer in friend mode?"
"I'm here as your friend, Easton. You’re making amazing progress, but you have to talk. If you don't want to talk to him, talk to me, or talk to Paisley. Talk to someone, Easton. You can't lock it away. It will eat at you, and trust me, that's not how you want to start anything with Paisley."
"I know, but I don't want this to touch her. It's too dark," I say.
"Do you see a future with her?"
"Of course, I do," I say without hesitation.
"Then you have to tell her. I'm not saying every gory detail, but she needs to know what happened. It's not that you’re dragging her down to the dark. It's about her pulling you up to the light."
Neither of us says anything, as he looks over at me, and then stands up.
"Okay, then," he heads towards the door, before he pauses. "Have you thought any more about taking on Allie?”
"A little bit.”
"For what it's worth, I think you should do it." He says, before he leaves.
The sad part is I know Noah is right. I also know I can't have a relationship like Paisley deserves, until I move past this, and until I open up to not only my therapist, but Noah and Paisley, too. But I also need to make things right with Leeland. Though, once he finds out about Paisley and me, I think it will damage our friendship beyond repair; not that we have a good one now.
I know Paisley is worth it; there’s no question in my mind.
The problem is, am I worth it for her to stick around?