Last night on the phone with Paisley, was one of the hottest nights of my life. Just that photo in the bathtub was enough for me to get rock hard no matter how many times I took care of myself.
I've been counting down the minutes, until she’s here. Only Paisley was supposed to be here by now. She’s always here by lunch, but she didn't come today. I texted her and got nothing back.
Her brother was here yesterday, and I know I was supposed to talk to him about us, and I didn't. Did Leeland talk to her? If so, is she upset?
I try to distract myself by saying she’s just running late, so I watch some TV. Only I don't see the people on the TV, I see Paisley. Allie must sense my unrest and agitation because she comes and lays on my lap.
I take a deep breath and pet her. No need to upset her over this.
Finally, my phone goes off, and I almost drop it, when I realize it's Paisley finally answering me back.
Paisley: Was with my brother. Why didn't you tell him about us?
Because I'm an idiot, apparently. Because I'm scared, and then I saw the text about Barbie attacking her, and I wasn't sure I could keep my temper together.
Me: Because it was nice to have him back, and I didn't want to ruin it.
And because after I snapped at him for what his girlfriend did to Paisley, it just didn't seem like the right time.
She doesn’t answer, so after fifteen minutes, I text again. I’m worried I said the wrong thing yet again.
Me: Paisley?
Paisley: Well, at least I know where I stand.
Fuck.
That's not what this is about at all. My gut was right. She isn't coming today, because she's mad at me. Before I can think twice, I call her, and thankfully, she picks up.
"What do you want?"
"It's not like that at all," I say.
"It sure feels like that. My parents put me on the back burner to deal with Leeland's issues when he was in college, and it was, 'Thank God we don't have to worry about Paisley, because she's such a good girl'. Then, Leeland puts me on the back burner, so he can get his dick wet by some girl that treats me like shit. Now, I get put on the back burner yet again, so you can build up a relationship with someone you haven't seen in six years, like what we built in the last few months means nothing. That's exactly what it's like."
"Paisley..." I whisper, because I know at this moment, there’s nothing I can say to make this right, and nothing I say will fix this.
"I have to go. I'm going to go hang out with Lexi. I’ll be in tomorrow after lunch, but I have an appointment with Jake first." She says, hanging up.
I sit there stunned, but then I smile. A full on smile. She's mad at me. Everyone has been tiptoeing around me for months afraid to upset me, and as much as I hate her being mad at me, it feels damn good. It feels normal.
Fuck, it's nice to feel human again. To start to feel like my old self. Paisley gave me such a gift, and as much as I hate that she’s mad at me right now, I know we’ll pull through this.
I have lunch with Leeland next week, and I can tell him then and let the cards fall where they may because if it comes to Leeland or Paisley, I choose Paisley.
I’ll always choose her. I have to show her though, because I know words mean nothing. My momma taught me that.
Actions speak louder than words.