For a Gemini, life is just one long game. It has no reality – they see it all as a movie or a computer game. They are good at business but shouldn’t be trusted near others’ piggy banks, pocket money or purses. They’ll steal and lie and cheat – just so long as they look good and appear on top. They have no morals, no ethics and will reach the top. They’d sell their granny if they could make money on her.
What quality do you think they value above all others? Cunning, that’s what. Not a very nice thing to live your life by, but that’s what motivates them and gets them out of bed. Offer them an honest $100 and they’d turn it down for the crooked $10. They like to think they’ve managed to trick you, to sell you faulty goods. They are more crooked than you’d ever believe.
They also like to talk about themselves rather too much. Because they all suffer from split-personalities, there are two of each of them to bore you to death with all the details of their cons and tricks and swindles and japes. They think all the stunts they’ve pulled off make them somehow more attractive, charming, alluring. Instead it makes them seem mean and callous. They make good bar room lawyers.
You’ll often find Gemini in exotic places where it suits their mood exactly – modern, loud, dangerous, open to deals being struck. They are restless people and often end up living abroad – mainly to escape the tax, the police, the landlord, people they’ve conned or upset.
* Because they all suffer from split-personalities there are two of each of them to bore you to death
Bouncy. That pretty well sums them up. Always on the move. Always selling, plotting, planning, scheming. The reason? They’re too afraid to sit still for long in case the world catches up with them – or themselves. They are frightened of the big stuff, the deep stuff – which is why they spend their lives on the trivia – the buying and the selling. Oh yes, and the surfing (real or cyber) and any outdoor pursuits.
* Too afraid to sit still for long in case the world catches up with them
They live on their nerves and their superficiality. They are shallow little beasts and only care about turning a dollar, making a buck, earning a bob or two – and even, if necessary, picking a pocket or two. Strangely, however, they do have a curious code of ethics, a sort of burglars code or criminals charter whereby they do apply certain principles to their antics. For instance, they would never rob a granny – sell their own granny of course – but never rob one.
* They live on their nerves and their superficiality
You can’t shut them up or turn them off or turn them down. They are full on, in your face, never sleeping, never backing off. They are lively, inquisitive, and almost rodent-like. All their siblings leave home before them. They hate injustice – perceived or real – and will make a great nuisance of themselves writing to newspapers about unintended slights perpetrated on them by shop workers, garage forecourt assistants and police officers. They suffer a permanent persecution complex. They deserve to be persecuted.
When the Gemini falls in love doesn’t everybody have to hear about it. And all the gory details – ‘he said this, she did that’. It’s enough to make you sick. Why can’t they keep it all to themselves? When they get dumped you’d think the world had ended. The sad thing is, it seems to happen so often, so regularly, you’d think they’d either get used to it or have a look at why it happens so much.
* When they get dumped you’d think the world had ended
They do like to dominate in a relationship. Any partner is in for a cruel awakening when they realize they are going to play second fiddle to a jumped up little dictator. Then they’re usually out of there pretty quick, leaving behind a broken-hearted Gemini crying twice as loud and twice as long. Before too long they’ve had as many lovers as a Swiss Army knife has blades.
* They’ve had as many lovers as a Swiss Army knife has blades
Don’t expect them to read books about relationships, they don’t see any need to change anything – it’s always somebody else’s fault. They don’t read any books actually.
Think prude. Think old-fashioned. Think holding hands. Its all a bit boring, a bit sad, and a bit wet. They can lose lovers through their lack of attention to the body bits. They like to think they’re faithful, and according to their own curious code of conduct they are. God help their partner if they stray though. All hell would break loose around them. No one betrays a Gemini and gets off without a sound ear-bashing. But that’s as far as it goes. They rant and shout but they aren’t violent. They’re too scared.
* No one betrays a Gemini and gets off without a sound ear-bashing
They sell cars. They sell toasters. They sell carpets. They sell anything to anybody, anytime, anywhere. They love to sell. Just as long as they feel they are getting one over on you they are happy. Whatever you do don’t employ one. They will steal the office furniture out from underneath you – and then sell it back to you. They have no scruples in business.
In business they are happy as long as they can talk – and they can talk the proverbial hind-leg off a donkey – and they will talk to anyone about anything, and all of it is pure gibberish, total nonsense. They invariably have no qualifications for the job they do – they will have talked their way in of course. They feel they have something to prove all the time. The weight of the chip on the shoulder is enormous.
* Whatever you do don’t employ one. They will steal the office furniture out from underneath you
* They break everything eventually as they can’t stop fiddling
If they work for anyone else they will cause trouble. They always think they know how to do your job better than you do and they will stir up feelings of negativity and discontent in the workplace.
Intellectually they are a bit lightweight, a bit trivial, a bit slender, so don’t give them anything taxing to do or anything requiring research or the use of any technology – they’ll only break it. They break everything eventually, as they can’t stop fiddling. As children they broke all their toys, blamed their siblings, and then claimed they weren’t loved as they had nothing to play with.