Librans think of themselves as balanced and able to weigh up both sides – in actual fact they are ditherers with no real opinions or beliefs. They think they are quite artistic, but most people see them as wishy-washy and indecisive with no grip on reality. Quite right too. They are cowardly and incapable of standing up to anyone or anything. They would make a good professional yes-person.
Like their opposite sign – Aries – they do like to do most of their thinking below their belts. They really can only relate on a sexual level and consequently they think sex is love, and love is sex. They are very, very flirtatious.
They always appear to have been born with a silver spoon in their mouth – drifting through life without ever having a proper job and somehow surviving nonetheless. They do engender a great deal of jealousy because of this. Jealousy and also a certain allure with members of both sexes either wanting to look after them or be seduced by them. They end up being mothered or murdered.
* They do like to do most of their thinking below their belts
If wallpaper had opinions then Libra would steal them. They don’t have a single original idea of their own but instead will nick them from anyone around them – and then claim them as their own. They are also very gullible, so you can implant false opinions in them and then stand back and watch the fun as they set out to convince everyone that what they say is true.
* They don’t have a single original idea of their own but instead will nick them from anyone around them
They tend to think the height of intellectual stimulation is a garden party – preferably one with royalty present. They see a challenging job as being an actor or dancer – one-man band would be a little taxing for them. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying your typical Libra is shallow, but a sheet of paper has more depth than they do. They are frivolous, changeable, superficial and idealistic. The idea of 3D has never entered their pretty little heads.
They are terribly petty and they spend far too much time decorating their home. They have a weakness for all things sweet and sickly. They eat too many tea cakes.
* They have a weakness for all things sweet and sickly
Mind you they are always cheerful and optimistic – even when running up huge debts, causing deep hurt in their personal relationships, and failing to deal with any of life’s real problems. They have only one thought – me, me, me. Of all the astrological signs they are the most selfish, the most self-centred, the most narcissistic, egotistical and arrogant. The think they can charm people and carry it off, but they are hurtful and oblivious of other people’s feelings. They spend too much time looking in mirrors.
Librans are supposed to be balanced individuals – but the reason why they can’t make decisions is not because they are busy weighing up the pros and cons, but because they are too lazy to think about such things. Ask them if they want tea or coffee and you throw their minds into a complete spin.
* They spend too much time looking in mirrors
They will tell you that they are great lovers, and that everyone falls in love with them at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, a lot of silly people do exactly that. They seem to attract shallow people to them. Anyone with a hint of substance or strength would run a mile from these fops and vane dandies. We are still all jealous of them, despite all this, because everything seems to come to them so easily, without them having to do any work. They also always have the best people on their arm.
They are complete lounge lizards and will cheerfully secure love and leave any willing victim who crosses their path. A Libran would do anything, or anyone, who would give them house room.
If you should be so unfortunate – or shallow enough – to fall in love with a Libra, then you will spend a lot of time waiting for them to come home; they’ll be off making goo goo eyes at someone else. They have the morals of a rat and the ethics of a guttersnipe.
* They have the morals of a rat and the ethics of a guttersnipe
They aren’t really sure what love is. They think they know, but they are so vapid that they don’t have any real feelings. Anything as strong as love leaves them out in the cold – they don’t experience it because it is too deep for them. Mind you some puddles are too deep for them as well.
Lustful creatures, disgusting little beasts. They think with their groins. They believe copulation is the answer to all of life’s problems. In fact, the only problem they are prepared to consider is where their next sexual encounter is coming from – that’s the limit of their intellectual and reasoning powers.
* Lustful creatures, disgusting little beasts. They think with their groins
They like dark bedrooms lit with candles and lots of satin furnishings – everything has to be totally decadent, totally over- the-top, and totally overblown. They like to have sex with lots of mirrors around – this isn’t for your benefit. They also like to play tacky classical music because they think it makes them seem intellectual.
Mind you, in bed they are pretty good – they’ll tell you just how good they are if you ask. In fact, even if you don’t ask, they will still tell you. If they want to seduce you they will turn on all their charm – which, to be fair, is considerable – but this only lasts until you take your clothes off. Then they lose interest. You will be dismissed as yesterday’s toy. They will use you and then cast you aside as soon as the novelty has worn off – about five minutes after they have finished. They love waving goodbye to ex-lovers.
Ha, there’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one – Libra in business. Libra in sloth, libra in laziness, libra in indolence, that sounds more like it. They have all the aptitude and capacity for work, and earning money as a chimp has for typing Shakespeare.
* They really shouldn’t ever gamble, they always lose
They don’t do self-employment, entrepreneuring, or partnerships – unless they’re the sleeping partner – or any work that requires effort, thinking, or forward-planning. They really shouldn’t ever gamble, they always lose.
If they do have to have a job then they’ll opt for something easy, stylish and decadent which allows them to display their charm – a fashion designer or beautician, or an actor or art dealer.
They don’t make great leaders – they don’t even make lousy ones. They are far better at foppishness, dandyism, daintiness and dilettantism. They have no idea of time so are constantly late which irritates everyone, but the Libra thinks it only adds to their charm. If only they could see themselves as other people do. They have no smart clothes.