Sagittarians have no real talent or skills and survive purely on gut instinct and luck. They are a status-seeking snob with a reckless risk-taking approach to life – which seems to pay off, for the moment (but their day is coming). They really care what other people think of them – how pathetic. They love travel, but it’s really only running away for them, isn’t it? Anything to avoid an honest days work.
The symbol of Sagittarius is a centaur firing a bow and arrow – strange or what? Half-human, half-horse, with six limbs. And what are they shooting at? No one knows, no one cares. Actually they are a bit ordinary and the only thing extraordinary about them is that they have this silly symbol. Yes, that’s it. A silly symbol and they dine out on that.
The truth is, they don’t have much of a personality. They are a bit like cotton wool. You know its there. You know it has a purpose. But that’s about it. You couldn’t have a conversation with cotton wool would you? Or a meaningful relationship. Or give it a job.
* The truth is, they don’t have much of a personality
They always think they have some hidden talent – be it writing, composing music, singing or dancing – and that it won’t take long for fame and fortune to come their way. They end up blaming everyone else for not being discovered. It never occurs to them that we looked under their rock and deemed them talentless, undiscoverable and passed them by.
* It never occurs to them that we looked under their rock and deemed them talentless and undiscoverable
You get two types of Sagittarius – the quiet depressed hermit-type and the pompous, knowledgeable, know-it-all type. They both think that their way is the right way and that the rest of us are out of step with them.
They love hanging out in big gatherings where they think they’re the centre of attention. They actually blend rather nicely into the wallpaper, but don’t tell them. They think snowboarding and juggling are subjects for worthy conversation as they are a bit vacant upstairs, although they do a nice line in pretend philosophy. Truth is they would rather get back to watching TV.
* They think snowboarding and juggling are subjects for worthy conversation
For such a pallid, limp sign they sure have big egos. Understandable for some signs – you expect Leo to be arrogant and proud and cocksure – but not little Sagittarius. From them you would expect quietude, modesty and humility. Instead you get a giant chip on the shoulder, arrogance and sneering condescension. They think the world owes them a living, a roof over their head and lots of money. We owe them nothing.
* They think the world owes them a living, a roof over their head and lots of money. We owe them nothing
It doesn’t happen a lot – it could be all that arrogance – but when it does the earth moves. Well it shimmers a little. They fall in love with totally unsuitable people – the kind who will prop up their egos and pander to their aches and pains – they are all terrible hypochondriacs and suffer endless twinges, joint pains, muscular aches, sprains strains and tendon pulls.
* They are all terrible hypochondriacs
They aren’t terribly demonstrative and their lover will complain of a lack of affection, romance, sensitivity and tactile companionship – a Sagittarius doesn’t touch much. They do, however, like to be touched, a lot.
Their idea of romance is to send their lover a postcard from some exotic place they have fled to. They often travel alone because no one else will go with them, and not because they prefer it. They are always talking of where they have been and where they are going to go – it could be enough to put anyone off but, surprisingly, they do seem to be able to attract love attention.
* They often travel alone because no one else will go with them
They relate to beds as places to sleep. Because they like to lie in bed all day if they can get away with it, the idea of using such a warm and comfortable hideaway for sex is slightly repugnant to them. Why waste all that effort when you could be using that time to sleep some more?
Once you get them into bed they are simply hopeless lovers. They value speed over everything, including experience, flare, prowess, technique and a loving touch.
* Once you get them into bed they are simply hopeless lovers
If you got one alone on an exotic beach complete with sunshine, warmth and indolence you might get them to show an interest – but I doubt it. They’re more likely to be dreaming of even more exotic places – and running away again.
The very idea of working is so repugnant, so horrific that I’m afraid to even mention it. Of course, and this is between you and me, they think they work hard because they spend so much time locked up in their own heads, but in the meantime they haven’t actually lifted a finger.
If they do have a job they’ll find a million ways to shirk their duties. They usually come up with a good line in fictitious illnesses, aches and pains, and unprovable headaches. They phone in sick so often their employer forgets they were ever employed in the first place. They are simply monstrously lazy.
* They phone in sick so often their employer forgets they were ever employed in the first place
They let money slip through their fingers when they are young and then either take to hoarding it or borrowing it off friends and family. They either save everything or nothing – no grey areas for them – so you get a spendthrift or a miser.
They have trouble getting decent jobs because they flunked so much at school. They often work for organisations that don’t worry too much about qualifications – who are just glad to get a body to man the phones, the stand, the pumps – such as petrol stations and hot dog stands.