Aquarians really ought to care a little more about who they sleep with – especially in this day and age. They are laid-back, organized and cool – these are also the attributes of any good confidence trickster. They never appear to do any work but they always have plenty of money – they must be sponging off someone. They are lazy and indulgent. They could try repaying some of their debts some time. They hate cuddly toys.
They are the most stubborn sign in the zodiac and would willingly go to the gallows rather than have to admit they were wrong, lose face, back down, or compromize. They make a stand about things we would consider trivial. You won’t beat them. Give it up now.
* They are the most stubborn sign in the zodiac and would willingly go to the gallows rather than have to admit they were wrong
Again and again and again the word ‘barking’ crops up whenever anyone is describing this most unorthodox of signs. And barking is what they are. They may look pretty normal but inside there is an alien’s brain.
Aquarians make good Zen monks as they already march to the sound of one hand clapping. They are stoic and feel no pain nor cold nor discomfort. Trouble is they expect everyone else to put up with such harsh conditions and look down on you if you do feel cold or hungry or tired. They are driven, determined, ruthless zealots and fanatics. They are, in fact, quite honestly, wrong ‘uns.
* They are driven, determined, ruthless zealots and fanatics. They are, in fact, quite utterly insane
Leave them to get on with their own private world and just serve them, obey them, worship them and devote yourself to them and they will be entirely happy. They won’t of course reward you, talk to you or notice you, but this does not matter. You will be serving a higher life form.
They don’t answer when you speak to them because they are so wrapped up in their plans, their dreams, their schemes that they can’t be bothered with the likes of a petty earthling. They eat and sleep to a different pattern to the rest of us. They like to feel cold when we enjoy being warm. They don’t keep normal hours.
You will never understand what makes them tick, even if you live to be a hundred. They don’t tick like us. If we tick they tock. They march to another drumbeat entirely, one that is playing inside their head and no one else can hear, not even other Aquarians. They are unique – and who would want any more of them?
* They don’t tick like us. If we tick they tock
If you are unlucky enough to fall for one of these then you aren’t going to be wooed or romanced or wined and dined much. You will however get lectured, pontificated at, talked down to and patronized.
What? Are you mad? You think these people fall in love with human beings? Oh, come on. Haven’t you leant anything about them yet? They fall in love with laboratory specimens, chemical compounds, spiders, toads, entire solar systems, books, research projects – but people? Never. Well, not individuals. They do love family and society and the whole of mankind. But not on a one-to-one basis, far too close, too feely, too embarrassing.
And if you do ever manage to get an Aquarius up the aisle you’ll find yourself married to someone who never says ‘I love you’, shows any affection or even lives with you – kissing may also be considered unhygienic. They may take off on research projects on the other side of the world but they won’t be around to put out the garbage or do the school run.
You’d better get used to being examined, researched and dissected. Spontaneous? Yes. Exciting? Yes, sometimes. Educational? Always – you might end up having sex on a trampoline or in a reference library or in a dancing school – all those places you wouldn’t normally associate with being sexy will be explored with an Aquarius as a lover.
They think everything from falling in love, to sex to work, can be collated, programmed, pre-set, pinholed and encoded in a computer script. They firmly believe that if you break things down into their smallest part you will understand them. Of course, an Aquarius will never understand the bits marked ‘feelings’ or ‘emotions’.
* Of course, an Aquarius will never understand the bits marked ‘feelings’ or ‘emotions’
The one good thing about them is that they tend to remain faithful. They may be aloof and detached but when it comes to love this does not translate into straying or flirting (they wouldn’t know how) or having one-night-stands (they will all do this one once just to see what it is like – more research you see).
They like to wear white coats and stethoscopes and have lots of pens in their top pocket, so that they are always ready to make notes on any bizarre behaviour they may observe. Their watches always have lots of dials and time zones and are waterproof right down to the bottom of the deepest ocean.
Not your great entrepreneur or business person. They can’t do paperwork or detail or even turn up on time. But give them a decent science lab and they’ll produce a cure for cancer or design an interstellar rocket ship powered by thought or hot air or paperclips. The normal, decent, well-paid job is not for them. They like to be underwater palaeontologists, astrologers, radiographers. Think vintage. Think black-and-white. Think science. Think in terms of radio and you’ll understand Aquarius in business.
They are small children looking at ants with a magnifying glass and wondering why so many of them spontaneously burst into flames on a hot summer’s day. They are obsessed with the past and love nothing better than digging up tombs, graves, archaeological sites, bones, dinosaurs, and incriminating evidence.
* They are small children looking at ants with a magnifying glass and wondering why so many of them spontaneously burst into flames on a hot summer’s day