Chapter 11

Lindsey

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I pulled out of Karly’s driveway. This couldn’t be happening. This all had to be a terrible dream. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that Karly wanted me to choose either her or my family. I loved my family so fucking much, but as I headed towards Carter’s job I began to wonder if he loved me the same way.

Could I really get upset and hysterical when I knew that I had cheated on him with Karly? Was having oral sex the same thing as having physical sex, but as my mind began to think this shit through, I concluded that oral sex was still sex. I had cheated just like he had.  There was no denying any of this shit.

I pulled up at Carter’s job fifteen minutes later and sat in my car as I tried to calm myself down. I wanted to know the truth. I needed to know the facts. I wanted to get this shit settled today, at this very fucking moment. There was no way I could take my ass home after I had found out what I had this morning about the man whom I loved with all my heart. I tried to push the thoughts of Karly from out my head, but I found it hard to do so. I knew I had broken her heart, by telling her that I couldn’t leave my family and pursue what we had, I had straight shattered her inside. I loved Karly I truly did, I just was scared. Never had I ever been with a female and never did I ever think that I would want to romantically be in a relationship with one. But here I was caught between my family and the one girl I would have loved to be with if I could. My feelings were all over the place, and I had no way of knowing what to do about them.

After sitting in the car for nearly thirty minutes only then did I slide out and head into the English department building. As I neared his office my heart began to shake and my legs felt as if they were going to give out. I stopped a foot from my husband’s office and tried to calm myself down. After I had given myself a small pep talk only then did I open his door.

I stood there in utter disbelief and I felt as if my whole heart had been snatched out of my chest.  I was near tears as I witnessed my husband with my own two eyes between another bitch legs giving her head.

I called out his name and immediately grabbed his attention. He quickly pulled away from the little whore and tried to grab me so I wouldn’t leave, but I quickly punched him square in the nose which resulted in him falling on the ground with a nosebleed.

The bitch who had been getting pleased from my husband quickly stared at me with big wide eyes. I knew instantly who she was.

I watched her as she hopped off Carter’s desk and pulled down her sweater dress. Her eyes met mine and I quickly told her some real shit.

“I should beat the breaks off your ass, but you’re not even worth it. The fact you knew this man was married and you still had the nerve to fuck with him is why I don’t have any type of empathy for your ass. If I ever see your ass ever again around my husband, I swear to you I will kill your ass. Try me if you want to bitch. Now get the fuck out my face, you nasty little whore,” I hissed at her before she ran out the door.

I looked down and that’s when I noticed Carter wailing on the floor in pain. I bent down on his level and told his stupid ass to look at me.

“You had the nerve to cheat on me with that little young ass bitch, you had this bitch to pick up my fucking daughter and have the nerve to fuck this bitch in the same house that I live in with our family.”

I laughed evilly.

“Ha, you thought I wasn’t going to find out about that little incident. Well, I did find out about it, but I’m not even mad about the shit, because you know what Carter, I got some shit to get off my fucking chest. You ain’t the only one who can get some new pussy to fuck on, I found someone else as well.”

Carter tried to speak, but I smacked his ass.

“Shut the fuck up and listen to me nigga. I gave you my fucking all and this how are you going to do me? You going to risk losing me for a young ass whore.”

I chucked to myself.

“Well, I guess we even now. You have been fucking one of your students and I’ve been getting my pussy ate by Karly.”

I saw the expression on his face, but no words left his mouth. I could tell that he was speechless, and I had caught him off guard.

“Don’t look at me like that nigga, you heard me correctly. I’ve been fucking with Karly and do you know what else? She begged me to leave your sorry ass, but I turned her down because I wanted my family. I didn’t want to walk out on Charity or you, but once she told me that I could still be a mother figure to Charity without being with you, I was really beginning to think that maybe just maybe I could pull the shit off.”

As he stood up off the floor, he grabbed a few tissues off his desk and tried to clean his bloody nose.

I took a few deep breaths as I tried to calm myself down. After I had gotten myself calm only then did I speak again.

“We both have cheated Carter we both have broken our vows; how do we fix this, where do we go from here?” I asked him emotionally.

He pulled the tissue away from his nose and that’s when I saw the pain in his eyes.

“I love you, Lindsey. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I love you as well, but sometimes love just isn’t enough.”

“You really going to leave me for another bitch?” he asked me in disbelief and anger.

I covered my face with my hand before he screamed at me.

“Answer me, Lindsey. Are you going to leave me for that bitch?”

“If I could I would. She was right. She told me that you wouldn’t stop cheating and look at you. You at work eating her pussy. Why stay in a marriage to a man who will never be faithful to me again. I deserve happiness.”

Carter took a deep breath and slammed his hand down on his desk which made me jump.

“Lindsey, it won’t ever happen again. I will cut all communication with Tia. I want our family.”

I looked at him with watery eyes.

Carter walked over to me and grabbed me by my chin so I could look him in the face.

I pulled away from him and took a deep breath before exhaling the air from my lungs.

“I think I love her Carter,” I whispered.

“You may love her, but you can never have her,” Carter spat at me before he grabbed his briefcase and headed out of his office.

∞ ∞ ∞

The Next Day

We ate breakfast in silence, no one said not a single word. It was so quiet in our house that you could hear a pen drop.

Charity cleared her throat before she complimented me on the breakfast that I prepared.

“Mom, dad, are ya’ll going to get a divorce?”

I almost choked on my food because I wasn’t expecting Charity to ask something like that.

“Why you ask that?” Carter asked Charity.

Charity stared at us both.

“Some kids in school said that their parents got a divorce because they didn’t love each other anymore.”

“Baby, don’t worry yourself about anything. Your father and I aren’t divorcing.”

When Carter grabbed me by my hand and began to caress it Charity dropped the conversation on us divorcing. When breakfast had ended Charity ran to her room and closed the door behind her.

As I began to clean the kitchen Carter grabbed me by my arm and pushed me towards him.

“Please forgive me, Lindsey. Let’s just move on and start back over.”

I looked up into his eyes and nodded my head in agreement. The only reason why I felt like I had to stay was because of my daughter. I wanted to make my marriage work and try to forget Karly, but that was going to be a process that I was going to have to deal with.

I wanted to forget all the wrong that had been done in our marriage, I wanted to start back over just as much as he did.

As he placed his lips on my own a warm feeling rushed into my body. The feeling of love and commitment engulfed me and that’s when I knew that we were on the right path of rebuilding our marriage.