Olivia frowned at the pile of things that had been left in the room for her to wear. No doubt it wasn’t anything store bought, but something borrowed. The thought of having to wear another person’s hand-me-downs was repulsive to her. She hadn’t had to do that in years.
“Fuck,” she complained, tossing herself down in the plush, leather chair. She glared at the ugly things.
“At least they could have given me something nice instead of this shit. Jealous bitches.” She sneered.
Reluctantly, she tugged on a pair of jeans and an oversized, tweed, turtleneck sweater. She marched across the cold, stone floor with purpose. She was going to turn the castles upside down in her quest to find Forrester. She didn’t give a damn about what he had said. He was going to stop this shit now. There was no way she was going to be made a fool of. He would just have to …
The mental rant came to a halt when she opened the heavy door of one of the finished rooms. The castle was large with too many rooms to count. Her boys had been overseeing the renovations, but the number of rooms completely finished was only twelve.
Her shaking hand touched her creased brow as she walked deeper into the room. There was no mistaking that this was his room. She recognized some of the items that his family, no doubt, set up for him when they knew he was coming.
She closed her eyelids tight in hopes that, when she opened them, the—not one, but two—women that were naked in his bed would be gone. Sad to say—that wasn’t the case. Their sleeping bodies were still there. Olivia backed out of the room and quietly closed the door. She couldn’t stop the tears that welled up in her eyes. If he was doing this, then there was only one reason.
She touched her forehead to the stone wall. In the past, he had cheated, but he had always been respectful. He had promised that he would never do it again. He had warned her that if he had ever gotten to that point that he would start back up again, he would also be to the point to call it quits.
It’s over. It’s really over, the voice in her mind lamented.
Before the sadness could entirely overtake her, she began to pull at her hair. The sadness was replaced with her anger. Then the anger was replaced with an, I don’t give a fuck, whatever, frame of mind as she hastily wiped the tears from her face.
“Fuck him,” she snarled.
Hell, she was tired of him pointing out her every flaw. Other than the kids and amazing sex, they never had anything in common. They were never made for each other. She was fine wine, and he was that nasty as ale.
Being back where it all started, it was painfully clear that they were two different people that would have never gotten together if it hadn’t been for her getting pregnant with Pike.
By the time she’d made her way to the Great Hall, she was more in her right mind. With a dazzling smile in place, she sat at the large table and listened to the conversations of the others. Not even the batter between her two sons that usually got under her skin could cause a rise out of her. Normally, she would have snapped to tell them that they were beyond such crude language.
“You better stop swimming in that lake before a worm swims up your dick,” said Brick.
Pike’s wet hair clung to his broad shoulders.
“It’s fuckin’ freezing outside. I’m sure there aren’t any, and if there are, I’ll let you suck it out,” teased Pike.
Brick laughed at his older brother. Forrester was determined not to show Olivia any attention. He could tell even if she was doing her best to hide her sadness. If she wanted to change the course they were on, she needed to do it herself. He wasn’t going to ignore or accept anything anymore to keep a happy house only to suffer inside. Her plain, disheveled appearance reminded him of their youth when she—
“Who are the two slags in your bed?”
Her low tone cut through the voices like butter. Silence fell over the entire table. Brick and Pike exchanged glances. Forrester’s muscular body leaning back in the high-back, wooden chair that was placed at the end of the long table caused it to creak. His blue eyes stared up at the rafters as if he could see through the stones of the castle.
“You don’t have x-ray vision, arsehole. Who the hell are they?” she fumed, finally raising her eyes.
He blinked in genuine shock at her mouth. She had become so tame over the years. This was not the woman he had come to know—the pompous, stiff-necked woman that made everyone’s life a living hell. He made sure to keep the flutter of excitement from seeping into his voice.
“I guess they are sleeping off a very long night,” he answered slyly.
Once again, Brick and Pike exchanged a knowing glance. They both knew damned well that their father had gone to his room only to come back downstairs twenty minutes later. That was too fast to fuck two women. He was in the same seat they had left him sitting in that morning. They broke eye contact at the sound of their mother banging the rose-colored, metal cup repeatedly in anger.
“I swear, Forrester, I’ll … I’ll—”
“Did coming home give you a speech problem?” he mocked.
“No one is allowed in this home. I’m shutting it down,” she spat.
“Do you want me going into town to get pussy?” he inquired.
His words were like a slap in the face. She recoiled back and swallowed hard. Her straight teeth flashed as she growled ...
“Why would you treat me this way? Why? All those years… I’ve done so mu—”
“Shut the hell up, woman,” his voice thundered. Since she was the one that called him out in front of everyone, he wasn’t going to show her any mercy. “You can spare the act. The boys aren’t little anymore.”
“How dare you? I—”
“You never loved me. Shit, when your Da caught us together, and he forced you to marry me, you ran off with Aiden because you didn’t want to tie yourself to a poor boy. Hell, until Pike was born, I thought it was his baby. You didn’t start to come around until after I told you I had money,” he snarled.
Olivia saw her sons look over to their uncle Colin for confirmation. He nodded slightly. Unable to stand being put on trial, she did what she did best; shift the blame.
“Yeah, the future you made, by what? Running drugs and killing people!” she yelled.
She waited for her boys’ shocked reaction that never came.
“You knew? They … they knew,” she marveled.
“I don’t pretend, Olivia. I told the boys years ago.”
“You told them that you were a goddamn thug.”
Suddenly, Colin got to his feet.
“Hold your tongue,” demanded Forrester.
He shook free of Forrester’s grip.
“My God, you are such a fuckin’ bitch,” he snarled. “I had hope for you, cailín, and I respected you, but I can’t. I’ve choked on my words for too long.”
“Shut the hell up!” fumed Forrester.
“No!” Colin roared.
Olivia’s wide eyes darted back and forth between the two. She opened her mouth to speak only to be silenced by the men that entered the castle. Her anger turned to fear at the sight of the guns they carried. Pike, Brick, their cousins, Angus, Shamus, and the six other men around the table all stood up, while Forrester took his seat as the head of the clan.
“Olivia, you can leave,” suggested Justin.
He kept his unloaded gun pointed to the ground. It would have been a fool’s errand to come upon Forrester’s land with loaded weapons. He had told his kinsmen to bring them for show and proof, but for nothing else.
“You can stop with the dramatics,” drawled Colin. “What the hell you brought this posse here for?”
“Don’t be delph,” Justin started in the strongest tone he could muster. “You know we are Faolan’s kin. He called us to—”
“Wait! Wait for a second,” she barked. Finding her tongue, she pushed off the wall that her back had been cemented to. “Faolan? The man that Niamh was married to! He’s…” She groaned as she pulled at her hair. She nodded her head as it all came clear to her. “You sold your soul, and everyone in town knew, didn’t they? You were the one pushing that shit. You’re one sorry piece of shit, Forrester. I knew Niamh was crooked, but you? And to put our sons into … I… I’m—”
“What the hell is she ranting about?” questioned Justin. “She’s fuckin’ delph,” he hissed.
Olivia acknowledged the odd stares that the men assembled in the room were giving her. Her gaze went to Forrester. He sat with a stone expression on his handsome face.
“She doesn’t know, but I’m gonna tell the Ladyship now—”
“No,” Justin barked out, tossing down his gun. “This man: the man that you just cussed out like a damn dog,” he started, pointing in Forrester’s direction. “He is a fuckin’ saint. If you hadn't always had your head up your ass when you were younger, someone might have told you how he saved our town—how he saved your Da’s factory and kept him out of the poor house. He poured money back into things here long after you packed up your skirts and turned your back on us.”
Forrester watched her body language as the truth washed over her. The shaking that had been coursing through her body due to the rage she had directed towards him didn’t stop. However, he knew that it shook out of remorse, shame, and guilt.
That wasn’t how he had planned for the revelation of things to be done, but it had happened, nonetheless. Maybe he should have explained things to her sooner and told her the truth, but he doubted it would have changed anything. Hell, it could have made things worse, and God knew he didn’t want that. Nor did he want her love and affection to be due to the sacrifice he had made for her father and the town.
No, he wasn’t a saint. He had done a lot of things he wasn’t proud of while he shouldered the burden alone. Then, there was his own motive of getting her that had driven him to commit to such a life during that time. He had hoped that his reward of having her would have been a sweet one, but it had only left a sour taste in his mouth.
She couldn’t even raise her eyes to look the people in the face that were so still and so quiet in the room. Olivia stood there with her head down like a beaten pup.
“Come sit down, and leave the cailín alone,” mumbled Forrester.
He thanked the stars that he was sitting because the devastated look she gave him would have knocked him on his ass. She chewed her lip while she waited for the men to pass her before she slinked out of the room.
“I thought you would have waited ‘til the afternoon to start shit,” remarked Forrester.
“Well, we wanted something to report when the King came-a-callin’,” mocked Justin.
Forrester ran his hands through his hair. His mind was more on Olivia than this silly shit.
“You know we have to at least make it seem as if we did something,” pleaded Justin.
“We know, we know,” grumbled Pike.
Everyone remained quiet while they tried to think up a good solution.
“We settle it with fists,” suggested Brick.
“Hell no. Shit, we all know my kin and I would get crushed. I kinda like being able to piss without passing blood,” replied Justin.
The men with him agreed in kind.
“How about we do this,” spoke Forrester, leaning forward in is chair. “Twenty sheep, ten calves, and two—just two—bulls,” he stressed. “5,000 dollars to each one of your kinsmen that were brave enough to back you up by coming here, and…” he paused.
He moved so quick, the man couldn’t defend himself. His fist connected with his nose. The cracking sound echoed throughout the room.
“That,” he continued. “Don’t you ever speak to my wife in that tone. She’s for me to handle or put aside,” he added for Pike. Taking a deep breath. “Now, you have something to talk about when Faolan calls,” he finished with a wave of his hand.
Colin handed Justin a few napkins to absorb the blood that flowed from his nose. He cleared his throat.
“While you’re here, you can tell the town about the highland games that the clan is going to be hosting here ‘til Christmas.”
“We’re fuckin’ Irish!” Justin cried out as if he was offended.
“You only got one nut, but that don’t stop you from fuckin’,” joked Brick, which caused an uproar of laughter.
“Look, I’m home, and I want to celebrate—with everybody. The land will be opened to tents and the castle too.” Forrester smirked.
“Hell, I ain’t delph. Women, booze, and fun. Shit, everyone from ten miles out will be here, and the town will make money,” chimed one of Justin’s kinsmen.
Forrester could feel the excitement in the room building. He just wished he didn’t have to fake his enthusiasm because he couldn’t get Olivia’s expression out of his head.
Olivia drove the white Range Rover down the familiar path. Her eyes widened along with her agape mouth at the impressive house that stood in the place of the old modest she had grown up in. Gone was the three bedroom, one bath, less than 1, 000 square-foot home. Now, a two-story beast of a thing that she was sure was over 3, 000 square feet with a double detached garage and wonderful stonework on the front that gave it an English Manor feel stood in its place.
Fresh tears began to flow. Her chest felt as if it was about to close in as, once again, she was shown the caring hand of Forrester. Justin was right. She had taken her money, left everything, and never looked back. She hadn’t even cared about her family. She knew that they were well taken care of thanks to Forrester’s ownership of the business. Even still, she knew that he was the one that ensured their living status had risen—not her.
The movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. Olivia turned to find who used to be her best friend and partner in crime exiting the garage. Their eyes connected. She could tell that her sister was trying to figure out if she should turn back around and dismiss her being there or if she should acknowledge her. Olivia could almost hear Saoirse’s sigh of regret before she chose to approach the passenger’s side of the vehicle.
“I’m surprised you remembered the way.” Saoirse huffed, getting into the car.
“It has been awhile,” responded Olivia in a small voice.
“No shit! What? Thirty something years! That was some vacation to America,” snapped Saoirse.
“I know. And I’m really sorry.” Olivia cried real tears of regret.
“Cut the shit and save the sorry’s. We all knew you were big-headed, but we never, in a million years, thought you would do that. That was your plan all along: to leave and not come back.
You hurt Da. I mean, to the fuckin’ bone. He didn’t see those boys ‘til they were in their late teens. They were damn near men. He was always up his little girl’s ass. Well, he’s been coughing up the shit you dumped on him for years.” She scoffed with a deep eye roll. “And me… After you got married, and surely after you left, I was tied to this fuckin’ house. So much so that I never left this place, and no man was brave enough to take me away. Yeah, I fucked around, but it only took one word from Da, and that shit was shut down.”
Not finding any words to say, Olivia took the blows of her sister’s words. It was all true, fact, and she couldn’t deny it. She had no defense. Unable to take it, she did the first thing that came to her mind. She wrapped her arms around her still ranting sister and pulled her into a death grip of an embrace.
Saoirse’s shock only lasted for a second before she began to punch and slap at Olivia’s arms and face in an attempt to get away. With each strike, her own screams and cries of hurt and anger mixed with Olivia’s cries of shame, guilt, and remorse ‘til she was tired of beating Olivia, and Olivia was tired of holding on. The windows began to fog up with the heated pants of the two women as they fought to regain their breath.
“Why, Livy? Wasn’t I a good sister?” Saoirse sobbed. Her hand stung from the attack.
“You were. And you are,” she croaked out. Olivia covered her face in shame. “It’s me,” she whined, beating her chest. “It’s taken me all these years to finally realize that it has always been me.”
The silence stretched out between the two sisters while they both got lost in their own thoughts.
“You can’t come in, Livy. Da won’t—”
“I understand,” she replied, swallowing hard.
Olivia watched her sister walk up the steps toward the front door. She gasped as the door opened. She could only make out the silhouette of an old man before he stepped aside to let her sister in before he slammed the door.
“Where have you been?”
Forrester shot up in the bed at the sight of Olivia. She shuffled into the bedroom. All day long, she had been missing. He had expected to see her at dinner, but she was still a no-show. The weight of faking the fact that he wasn’t worried about her had taken its toll, so he chose to eat in his room. He had been glaring up at the ceiling while he contemplated getting dressed to go search for her. Now, here she stood, keeping to the shadows of the room.
“I’ve been in town. Shopping and what not,” she replied in a hoarse voice.
A shiver ran down his back at the sound of her weak voice.
Why won’t she come out of the dark? he wondered.
He slid out of bed and stood up. The lights of the fireplace illuminated his hairy, muscular chest. Although he had lost his ripped six pack years ago, his stomach was still taut. He stood before her completely nude, which was his preference when it came to sleeping.
“The town was talking about games going on here,” she stated, backing further into the darkness.
“Aye. They begin in three days … if we can get it all ready,” he said, moving towards her. “Come sit down,” he commanded.
He saw her hand move to her hair as if she was trying to smooth it before she did as he asked. Olivia looked sheepishly at him before she focused her gaze on something else other than his tan, hard body. He fought to control the rage that was close to causing a blood vessel to explode in his brain. He took in the black and blue bruises on her shoulder, arms, and side of her face.
“Who did that to you?”
The tone of his voice was deep, leveled, and deadly.
“Things got a bit heated with me and Saoirse.”
“That fuckin’ bitch!” He sneered. “I’m going to—”
“Do nothing,” she firmly finished his sentence. “It was a beating that I deserved,” she admitted, finally giving him her emerald-green orbs. “There’s a lot of things I’m coming to see that I deserve.”
He narrowed his gaze. This was a woman he had never seen before. There was something about her character that scared him. She seemed tired as if she had been walking for miles or fighting for days.
“Is what they said … this morning … was it true? I guess, I already know the answer, but I just wanted to hear it from you.”
His mouth had gone dry. “Aye, it is.”
Olivia closed her eyes, and she swayed on her feet. The sound of his movement towards her caused her to step back. She raised her hands to tell him to stay put. He froze in mid-step.
“I’m so, so, fuckin’ sorry for being so, so fuckin’ stupid,” she spoke in a shaky voice. “All of this,” She waved her hand. “You did. For them. All of them. While I’ve had my head in the clouds living what? Hell, I don’t even know what I’ve been living all these years,” she mumbled while she searched the ground for the answer. “Thank you, Forrester,” she spoke with so much emotion that he physically took a step back. “Thank you for Da, and the people ‘cause Justin was right about me. You.” She pointed. “You have always been right about me. So, thank you. I just beg you to please try to not let me see what you’re doing with other women until you’ve …”
She couldn’t say it. Her throat closed, keeping her from saying it. Without another word, she turned and disappeared into the shadows and out the door. She felt as if her entire world was burning all around her. She couldn’t find any rest. Even the voices in her own mind had revolted against her to point out every one of her selfish acts throughout her adult life, and all of the attempts that had been made by those that loved her to show her the errors of her ways. Even her own grandson, that was born to Brick out of a relationship before his wife, had tried to show her.
There were times when McCormack had come to her just to talk about his feelings. Instead of her really listening, she had told him that his issue was silly and not worth the time dwelling on it. For a young child in elementary school, he had been going through some serious issues. It had taken an outsider, who had become his mother—Lakyta—to heal him with her love, compassion, and most of all, time.
A few minutes later, she entered the Great Hall. She had chosen to enter the castle from the back to keep the drama of her battered state secret ‘til after she had spoken to Forrester. Now, that she had accomplished that task, she was ready for the rest of them to get a look at her.
Brick was the first one to see her. The dazzling smile that was on his sensual lips fell. He rose to his feet in a very slow motion as he pinned her with his narrowed gaze. His reaction caused the voices to die down. Everyone followed his eyes to find her standing there. Olivia raised her hand to stop her sons from running to her side.
“I got into a fight. It’s nothing,” she reassured them, not giving them a chance to ask for details. “My sister. Not anyone in town, so …” She sighed. “Um, I was wondering if I could have the babies and McCormack tonight. I. Um, I’m not in the mood to sleep, and I haven’t really seen them since getting here,” she stumbled.
“Yeah. We’ll drop them off,” answered Cashmere when everyone in the room appeared to be tongue-tied.
“Come eat, Ma,” offered Pike, waving Olivia over.
“No,” she replied, a bit too forcefully. Taking a deep breath, she began to back away. “I’ve already eaten.”
Like clockwork, both Pike and Brick ran their hands through their hair in pure frustration.
“This shit got to stop,” fumed Brick, finding his ability to talk first.
“Where’s Da?” asked Pike.
“You two are going to sit down and stay the hell out of the way.”
Brick swung around to challenge his uncle Colin.
“Are you blind, man? Did you just see my ma?” he thundered.
“Aye, I saw. We all did, but this is a battle that’s been brewing for years.”
“What? What are you babbling about? You know what? I don’t give a fuck. I know that woman is a bitch. God knows she is, but she’s our,” Pike stressed, moving his finger between him and Brick. “Ma.”
“Why is he treating her like shit is what I want to know. Hell, we’ve all been putting up with her all these years, so what the hell is he hoping for?” questioned Brick.
“Your Da wants a fight,” answered Colin, plainly.
“Shit, she just got her ass beat,” mumbled Lakyta.
“Not that! Look. Years ago, when faced with a choice, Olivia chose to back down. She could have done something, but she didn’t, and like always, things ended up going her way. Shit, you all know how she is. Yeah, we all complain and talk under our breath and sometimes say it to her face, but in the end, she gets her way without ever changing. Why? ‘Cause it’s easier, and it will shut her the hell up. I don’t think she’s ever fought for anything. A man wants to know that he ain’t alone and that he has a woman at his back. And if a woman is willing to get out and fight, in whatever form, then she’s a woman really in love,” explained Colin.
Pike stared as if he was stuck on stupid. “That’s fuckin’ bullshit!” he erupted.
Voices rose as everyone one began to debate the explanation of Colin’s. Although he didn’t like it, in his heart, Pike understood. There was a time when he had been fighting the world for Cashmere. It scared the shit out of him, but there did come a time when he had to let her go. There was only so much fighting he could do for her heart and for their life together. He had to step back and see if she was willing to fight tooth and nail for him and for their love. He just prayed that his ma would find the spirit and mind to fight for his da before it was really too late.