Dear Diary,
My soul is reaching for a star.
Her name is Ivy.
She’s beautiful and kind. Always looking out for others before she looks out for herself. She’s about to drive herself into financial ruin to save the only mother figure she’s known. And still, nothing in the world will stop her.
She loves with all her heart. All I want to do is shove a grenade in mine.
Some of us are destined for love. And some of us are destined for pain.
And some of us will spend the rest of our lives barricaded from what we want.
I toss my pen down with force and slam shut the book. I don’t care what the therapist says. This, ladies and gentlemen, is not helping. If anything, it’s chiseling my psychotic thinking right into stone.
I run both hands through my hair, stroll over to the window, and look out and up. Basking in the light of her glow. Seeking all my warmth from her.
She’s laughing and happy. A welcome change that could easily brighten every corner of the world.
What’s making her so happy? I can't see what she's looking at. Maybe Trinity is in the room. Or maybe she’s on her phone.
I grab my binoculars, the sick fuck that I am, and focus the lenses. Hmmm. With her phone held high, she snaps a shot. Not a selfie. Of someone else.
She takes a few steps backward, gesturing and directing whoever she’s with. When a man steps into view, my arteries go numb.
“Hunter,” I growl.
Hunter is laughing along, posing with muscled arms in a wide array of stances while Ivy snaps shot after shot. When they pose for a selfie, I can’t breathe.
And when Hunter removes his shirt, I lose my shit entirely.
What. The. FUCK?
I can’t account for how, but in seconds, I am up the hill, in the mansion, and seconds from breaking down Ivy’s door.
I struggle on my next move. Do I knock? Kick it in?
I suck in a breath of oxygen and, with it, rational thought. Stay calm.
Voices bleed through the door. “Nice tattoos. What else are you taking off, Hunter?” Ivy says, giggling.
I barge through the door. “Get your fucking hands off her!”
Hunter’s hands fly high and surrender. “Easy, boss. It’s not what you think.”
I glare at Hunter murderously. “Out. Now.”
He grabs his shirt and rushes past me out the door. I slam it shut. “What the hell are you doing?”
Ivy crosses her arms. “That’s none of your business, Leo.”
We stare at each other, our gazes locked like horns in the stalemate of the century. It’s clear she wants a fight. Funny enough, so do I.
I warn her with a glare. “Starting tomorrow, you work for me again.”
Her smile is smooth. “That could be a problem.” She leans closer, and that swirl of citrus and vanilla wraps around me like a spell. Her body closes in, and her lips are a whisper away. “What if I don’t want to work for you?”
This is the moment a smart man would step away. Instead, I step into her space, pressing the full length of my erection against her soft, small body until her back is against the wall. “It’s not your choice.”
Her breaths align with mine, and the fire in her eyes is desperate and hungry. The air crackles around us. When she licks her lips, I nearly blow. “What do you want, Leo? Investigating and spying on me… You made it very clear you don’t want me, so why bother?”
Why bother? Fantastic fucking question. If I had even one active brain cell I could switch on right now, maybe I’d have an answer. But I don’t.
There’s nothing I can say to explain. Arousal pumps hard through my body. My fingers strike a match down the bare skin of her arms, and goose bumps pebble in their wake. My large hands wrap around her delicate wrists, moving them behind her back.
I tighten my grip, and she gasps.
My words deliver heat to her ear. “You’re playing with fire.”
Her body shivers in my hold. “What do you mean?”
“You set this up. Paraded Hunter in front of the window around like a shirtless fucking show dog when you knew I was watching.”
Torment flames behind the gaze in her eyes. “If you don’t want me, then what does it matter?”
Another question I can’t answer. Another slice across my heart that my body begs me not to feel. She’s right. It shouldn’t matter. But it does.
My forehead rests on hers. Our eyes shut. But my hands don’t unlock from around her wrists. “I can’t give you what you want, Ivy.”
Her words are venom, compelling my body like a curse. “Then give me what I need,” she whispers.
My mouth descends on hers, softly at first. Controlled. Our tongues dance in long laps of want and desire. My teeth graze down her neck, nipping her shoulder as my free hand cradles her breast.
“Leo, wait.”
I freeze. “Wait? Or stop? There is no waiting, Ivy. Tell me to stop, and I’ll leave. Tell me to wait…” I fist her hair and nip the sensitive spot on her neck, causing her to tremble. “And you’ll learn that I don’t wait.”
Her eyes search mine. My little doe in headlights turns speechless. The air crackles, and something shifts between us because now, I know.
I own her.
In a trance, I release her and head to the door. But as soon as my hand touches the handle, instinct takes charge. I don’t open the door. I lock it.
“Remove your clothes,” I growl. I don’t face her. I’m too busy on my phone.
There’s surveillance up and down the halls—audio feeds that will pick up every sound from this room. I kill them all.
By the time I turn around, Ivy is stripped down to her bare skin, and the confidence she wears day in and day out is suddenly shrouded in doubt.
I step closer, tilting her chin so her eyes meet mine. My thumb swipes the fullest part of her lower lip. The raw emotions she stirs in me should have died long ago. I should be gentle with her, and treat her with kid gloves. Put her on a pedestal as high as the moon.
But the sooner Ivy gets it through her head that I’m far from her knight in shining armor, the better for both of us. “Where’s your phone?”
She glances to the bed.
“I want you on all fours. Place the phone next to you.”
She takes timid steps and centers herself on the bed as instructed.
“Unlock it.”
“Why?” she asks.
My finger trails the length of her back. Her shiver pleases me, and I rest my palm on her ass. “Because I said to.”
She opens the screen.
“How many pictures of Hunter are there?”
“Seven.”
“Open the first one.” As soon her finger swipes and the image appears, my hand cracks her flesh. “Count.”
“One,” she murmurs back.
I slice my tongue across her center. Her body shudders, and judging from the moans she releases, her first orgasm should be at around three. Maybe four.
“Next photo,” I command, stern as I shed my clothes.
I force two fingers in her center and pump hard. Then, I drag my fingers out and spank her again.
“Two,” she sighs without prompting.
By three, I’ve burrowed three fingers so deep, Ivy shudders, losing control as a freight train of an orgasm takes hold. “Leo,” she whimpers.
My dick is angry and hard and has had just about enough. But we’re not finished. This time, I give her butt two hard smacks, then rest my thumb at the tight hole of her butt.
Her body tenses. I can tell she’s never done this before. Let a depraved man work her body for his sick pleasure. My tongue takes a greedy lick of her soaked pussy as her body rocks against me. And I know with every fiber of my being that there isn’t a chance in hell my cock will make it to seven.
Condom on, I lift the head of my shaft to her entrance. I’m an inch into heaven, ready to kick down the gates and fuck my way to oblivion.
With the next inch, her walls grip so hard, I see stars. But it’s the next inch that stops me. All I see is Ivy. My girl is in tears.
I kiss her back and drag myself out.
“Don’t stop.”
“I have to.” I flip her around and hold myself above her so she and I are face-to-face. Teary, she turns away. “Look at me,” I demand.
Her eyes are slow to reach mine, and I search hers for a long breath. When I see all the broken pieces behind her iron walls and she sees all of mine, she asks, “What are you doing?”
“I’m giving you what you need.” A million years ago, I cast my heart away and got used to the emptiness it left behind.
Over and over again, Ivy brings it back to me. Intact and complete.
I kiss her. A long, slow burn of a kiss that tells her all the words I’ll never say. Promises and dreams. Hidden secrets and cherished vows. My tongue dances with hers as my body rests between her parted legs. I reposition her calf to my shoulder, kissing her leg as we once again connect. In a single, sweeping move, I thrust. Pull out. Slide in.
Our rhythm is a heartbeat, waves crashing one after the next. There’s no her or me.
Nothing exists but us.
Another climax takes hold of her, and I wait until she settles before I start again.
Her legs wrap around my back, and my body drives in again.
Hard. Deep. Possessive thrusts that feel so…
Right.
The sounds of wet arousal echoes with our moans. Her eyes roll back, and her body arches. “Leo.”
“I’m here, angel.” My body is desperate as it pounds in rhythmic time to hers. “I’m right here.”
The riptide of orgasms takes us both under, and I pump hard, emptying all that I am deep into her core.
Our breathing evens as our eyes lock.
And without knowing how or why, there’s nothing I can do to stop our collision course from happening.
Ivy is mine. And I am hers.
For a long while, we spoon in the dark, our fingers laced. My lips move from her back to her neck to her cheek as I’m soothed to sleep like a drug.
“Leo?”
“Hmm?”
“How did you know what I needed?”
I kiss her shoulder. “Because I needed it, too.”
Ivy rolls in my arms so we’re face to face. “I need to be more than a one-night-stand.”
“I’m definitely counting more than one.”
She smacks my chest. “You know what I mean. I need you to open up. Let me in.”
“I think you have it backward.” I press my erection against her soft body. “You’re the one who needs to open up, and let me in. You’ve done it before. I have faith that you can do it again.”
The cutest growl emerges from her throat. She frowns. “I need more, Leo.”
Even in the darkness, I feel it. Her eyes searching for answers.
Part of me is fucked up and broken beyond repair. The dark, angry, unforgivable part that should’ve been discarded like litter at the city dump.
I release a heavy sigh and speak a vow I’m not sure I can keep. “I’ll give you more.”