Chapter 21

A whole year passed. Months ago, Rose had held her oldest brother’s newborn baby in her arms, and she desperately wanted to have a baby of her own. Some weeks after that, she heard whispers that a child had been born to Jessica and Jacob. Of course, the child had been born less than nine months after their marriage, but that was swept under the rug and not mentioned. Still, the news of the birth reminded Rose of how she’d been fooled by Jacob and it sent her into a dark depression.

Nancy Yoder sat her oldest daughter down one Monday morning before Rose left for work.

“Rose, it’s been more than a year now since I spoke to you about you getting married. You haven’t been out with anyone since Jacob. Your vadder told me to let you be, but what’s going on? There are ten weddings booked now in the time since Jacob left. One of those weddings should’ve been yours.”

“I told you, Mamm, getting married is something I won’t do until I find someone who suits me. I won’t be forced into something just for the sake of it.”

“There are a dozen men, any of which would suit you. What are you waiting, or looking, for? It’s not setting a good example for your sisters. They seem just as uninterested in the whole idea of marriage as you are and I can only blame you for that.”

Rose tugged at the strings of her prayer kapp. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know about what?” Her mother was using her angry voice.

“Anything, really … I guess.”

“Well, perhaps that’s where we should start. We shall work out what problem you have with marriage and clear it up. Perhaps another talk with the bishop would be in order?”

“Nee, not the bishop again, please, Mamm.”

“Okay, but you can’t escape talking with me. Tonight’s the night, right after dinner.”

Rose stood up. “Okay, tonight it is, but right now I need to go to work. Mrs. Walker needs me to start a little earlier today. She’ll be here soon. They’re redoing the roof over the market and we might need to move the stall to the other end for a few days. The managers are letting us know today.”

“Okay, Rose, but we will speak tonight. And we’ll put a plan into place. You’re making too big a thing out of this. One man is as gut as another.”

“Really?” Rose raised her eyebrows. “I wonder what Dat would think about that?”

Mrs. Yoder giggled and wagged her finger at her daughter. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Rose smiled and then leaned over and kissed her mother on her cheek. “I’ll see you later, Mamm.”

“Don’t forget we need to talk tonight.”

“There’s no danger of that. You’ve talked about nothing else these last few minutes.”

Rose hurried down the driveway to meet Mrs. Walker. She’d long since gotten over Jacob and the hurt he’d caused her heart. Jacob hadn’t been respectful toward her and now that more time had passed, she could see that clearly. She felt sorry for Jessica, the girl he’d married.

Mark and she hadn’t been as close as they once were. It was kind of awkward between them ever since Mark had asked her to marry him. She’d thought about Mark and his proposal every single day. She couldn’t find a reason not to accept his proposal except for a nagging doubt. After months of self-examination, Rose realized that her doubt was purely based on the fact that she’d always seen herself with someone different from Mark. She was a tall girl and Mark was barely a shade taller and she’d always imagined herself married to someone so much taller, as tall as Jacob. Besides that, Mark was easily available to her and there was something within her that wanted the excitement of the exotic stranger, someone new and exciting—as Jacob had been.

Is it that simple? She slowed down when she nearly reached the road. Looking down, she kicked the pebbles along the driveway. Rose missed talking and laughing with Mark every day. What if he no longer wanted her? Could he have grown tired of waiting? She knew he wasn’t dating anyone—she hadn’t heard he was, at least.

She leaned against the gatepost at the end of the drive, waiting for Mrs. Walker while she thought about men. Her relationship with Jacob had been exciting, but it had also caused her pain. Jacob wasn’t honest and forthright, whereas Mark had told her exactly how he felt about her and that had taken great courage. Rose could appreciate that now that time had passed.

Maybe she loved Mark. Or was it love? Could it be love or simply that there was no one else around? Was that why she now felt as though she might love him?

She heaved a loud sigh. This is all too confusing!

When she heard the clip-clopping of hooves, she looked up to see Mrs. Walker’s gray horse pulling the buggy.

When they arrived at the markets, Rose found out that the Walkers had to move their stall to the other side while the roof was being repaired. That also meant that Rose wouldn’t be next to Mark’s younger brother and the goat-cheese stall.

When the midday rush was over, she looked up and saw Mark walking toward her. Her heart pounded in her ears while at the same time she hoped she looked all right.

“Hi Mark. It’s nice to see you.”

“Hello, Rosie. I’ve come to check on Matthew.”

“They’ve had to move us all around.”

“I know. I hope it won’t be for too long. Our regular customers mightn’t be able to find us.”

“You’re not working today?” Rose asked.

He laughed. “I’ve got the day off. It’s the advantage of not working in the familye business. Goats have to be milked every day.”

“That sounds gut, that you can have a day off.”

She stared at him. Had he grown a little taller and was he a little heavier? He looked more of a man now rather than a teenager. How great a difference a year had made. Sure, she’d seen him every couple of weeks at the meetings, but she’d never really ‘looked’ at him like she was now.

“How have you been, Rosie?”

She desperately wanted to tell him that she’d missed him. She swallowed hard against the lump that had formed in her throat. “I’ve been okay.”

“You look lovely.”

Rose giggled. “Denke.”

“Well, I’d better have a look to see where our stall’s been placed.”

“I’m sure it’s over that way.” She pointed to the western corner of the building.

“I’ll come back and talk after I see Matthew.”

Rose nodded. “I’d like that.”

She watched him walk away and to her surprise she was tingling, and she could only put that down to being nervous.

A loud boom shook the ground underneath her and Rose grabbed hold of the table in front of her. The roof that was being fixed had collapsed, and billows of dust filled the air. Her stall was outside under an annex and had escaped the disaster. Everything took place in slow motion, as though she were in a dream. There was an eerie silence and then all at once screams and cries rang through the air. Seconds later, Rose stood stunned as people ran to and fro.