CONN DIDN’T PULL out, he stayed inside her, exactly where she needed him, he knew, he remembered.
Pushing her hair from her face, he forced her chin up. “You will never do that again.” Such stern, severe words in that moment of post-coital bliss jarred. “Do you hear me, Cushla Machree?”
“Baby, I don’t—”
“The pills, the liquor, what the fuck were you trying to achieve?”
“This,” she said, stroking his still clothed body. “I can’t survive without you; I wouldn’t have made it another day.”
“How did you know I was watching?”
“I didn’t. There’s only so many hours I can live without knowing you’re alive. Either you were watching, or I was coming to meet you on the other side. Did you get a new phone?”
Stupid question, he must’ve. His hand went to a rear pocket, then he held something in front of her face.
Slowly, her smile crept higher. “That’s my phone.”
The only phone, other than his, that had access to the camera in their loft bedroom.
“Mine now,” he said and sat up to put his dick away. “We have to get the doctor back in here.”
“I don’t want the doctor back in here.” When he tried to move one of her legs, she clamped it tight again. “I want you…” Raising her hips, shifting a thigh, she presented a prime pussy shot. “Back in here.”
“Again?”
“Oh, Conn…” Sitting up, she wrapped her arms around one of his, resting her face on his shoulder, rubbing herself against him. “I was so scared. I can live with anything, anything at all, providing it’s with you.” She propped her chin on his shoulder. “I love you. And I was grateful I’d said my goodbyes but—”
“What did I tell you? You won’t leave this life before me. I won’t let it happen.”
Another promise he’d kept.
“Did you really think we were over? That I blamed you or—I was desperate for you. The only thing I blame you for is putting up with me.”
“Giving you too much latitude,” he said, guiding her forehead to his lips. “That will change now we’re back in it…” He raised his brows in question. “Hmm?”
“No.” Her head shake quickly gave way to a smile. “We’re not back in anything, I never left.” She squeezed his arm in her embrace. Pleasure was still on her mind, but she took a deep breath and straightened her spine. “You want to tell me what’s going on? No one’s seen you, Play’s at the club—”
“Not here,” he said and kissed her again.
“Complete the circle.”
“Aye, after you complete your side.” He got up and she tried to follow, except he put a firm hand on her to push her down. “Stay here, Macushla.”
Sometimes manipulation felt good, even on the receiving end.
“For how long?”
“Until I say.” Checking his phone, he swiped something and frowned at something else. “Get some rest, then you need to eat. When was the last time you ate anything?” When she didn’t answer, his attention rose from the screen. “Macushla?”
“I swallowed a bunch of pills, does that count?”
“No, and that’s the last time you’ll make a joke of your stupidity. Mention it again, you’ll wear chains the rest of your life. You have no fucking idea…”
“Yes, I do. It’s what I’ve been going through since that bullet left my father’s gun. He’s at my old place, by the way, I don’t know if Daly told you.”
“Daly told Niall, old information.”
“Old—”
“Your information was old. Your father is not at the apartment.”
“Where is he?”
He crooked a brow. “You trust me?”
“I trust you, though I’m getting the drift it’s not mutual.”
Another scowl. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”
“You don’t trust me to know anything, wouldn’t let me see you. The guys thought I was with you. Daly said—”
“More than he should have, and there will be repercussions for that.”
“No,” she said, leaping off the bed. “Daly is my friend and he’s loyal, so loyal, to us. That kind of commitment is something we should nurture and appreciate, not punish. He cares about us.”
“Any of my men ever cross the line with you—”
“I won’t hide anything from you…” Linking their fingers on one hand, she drew them up until they were palm to palm. “Except…”
Snatching her chin, he wrenched her head back to a painful angle. “No caveats, no conditions. You don’t hide anything from me.”
“It was telling you everything that caused this. You have enough going on with the McDades. My mess almost took you from them.”
“We’ve been through this.”
No way she’d let him brush this off like it was nothing.
“How can you forgive me? Why would you want to? The McDades need you—”
“You need me.”
No part of her could deny that. “I exposed you, dragged you around the McDade shield, made you vulnerable. This was my fault. I forced you through your defenses—”
“Cushla Machree…” His fingertips skimmed down the front of her throat. “How the fuck do you do this to me?”
A question he didn’t want answered. It didn’t have one, not that she knew. Whatever it was, she hoped to keep doing it forever.
There was so much to say. The ground they had to cover seemed insurmountable.
“At my grandpapa’s—”
“Later, Macushla. Rest.”
She caught his wrist. “Then take me to our bed.”
No way she’d be separated from him again. It still didn’t seem real that her guy was there, talking to her.
“This is where you heal.”
No. “I’m cured,” she said, raising his hand to her face. “Don’t let me out of your sight. I am your kingdom. Please.”
And that was exactly the button to push. It gave him the permission he wanted. What she needed, and the only way she’d heal, was with him.
Snagging his fingers between hers, he led her out into a large office, desk angled to the right, double doors behind it.
A round table, couches—he guided her behind the desk and opened the double doors. A bed, black silk with the occasional spot of red. Yes, this was their domain.
Her restraint strained against its want to let go and leap on, to declare this conquered land her territory. With everything going on, and how they’d got there, too much exuberance didn’t seem appropriate.
She pulled back the covers to climb into bed without letting go of him. “Can you join me?”
Releasing their connection, he grazed the back of his fingers down her jaw. “Rest.”
He kissed her hairline and left her alone to scoot to the middle of the bed. He’d wanted to give her up, thought they were over. All this turmoil had a crucial consequence. When they got to talking, she’d make a few things clear.
“Mo Grá?” He paused on the threshold. “Thank you.”
The curiosity in his eyes touched hers for only a moment. He went out, closing one of the doors and leaving the other slightly ajar. To ensure she didn’t run away? Or to prove he trusted her to eavesdrop?
A door beyond the room opened and closed, after a few seconds, Niall’s voice rose.
“Aye?” the lieutenant asked the enigmatic question.
“Aye,” her guy said.
Were they really going to do this again?
The answer came in another query from the wingman. “Aye?”
Ah, but this time there was the slightest thread of something else, maybe amusement? Relief? Happiness?
“Aye,” Ire finished.
“Thank fuck.”
Never had Niall’s accent been more welcome than right then.
“What have you got for me?”
Lying down, she closed her eyes. If her guy wanted to check on her, she wouldn’t complain, but she was tired. No one would get to her, not with Conn standing in front of her. She was safe, and wasn’t alone. She had her guy back.