Jackson’s hands tightened on the wheel as he drove Isabel to the mechanic. Even though there was silence in the car, his mind was reeling with thoughts. Thoughts about Isabel. Thoughts about what she’d said. And they were muddled even more by his ridiculous emotions getting in the way of the rational part of his brain.
He knew Isabel wasn’t his and would never be his again. He’d thought he’d come to peace with that and had even moved on.
But now he couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to do. How he was supposed to act around her.
They had been such an important part of each other’s lives and walking away from that hadn’t solved anything. He was a fool to think that he could remain unscathed after seeing Isabel.
He’d allowed himself to feel things for her again. Things he should have left buried forever. And now his heart was hurting.
Throwing on his blinker, he took a left and pulled into the parking lot of the mechanic. He put the car into park and unbuckled his seatbelt.
“I’ve got this,” Isabel said, holding out her hand as if to stop him from getting out.
He stared at her, trying to control his frustration. He didn’t want this to be the end, but when she was determined to call things off, what could he do?
“Are you sure?” he asked. Was he crazy not to want this to end? He’d forgotten what it was like to spend time with her. But perhaps he was fighting their inevitable fate. Maybe he was destined to leave with his heart in pieces because they could never work.
She chewed her lip and nodded. “Yes. I don’t want to impose on your family anymore.” She slowly raised her gaze up to meet his. “You’ve done so much to help me. I couldn’t ask you to do more.”
Jackson nodded as he settled back into his seat. Thankfully, he’d already paid the mechanic. He knew she’d never let him cover the cost, so he figured taking care of it ahead of that conversation was best.
Besides, his mom would never let him live it down if he didn’t help her. And with her dad being in a home, he doubted she had a ton of money just laying around.
At the thought of his mom, he remembered that Sondra had invited Isabel over. He leaned toward her. “Are you still coming to dinner tonight?” He braced himself for her answer.
She fell silent, and when he glanced over, he saw that she was studying her hands. “I don’t know, Jackson. I don’t think that’s wise.”
Why? Because of him? Because of their history? Or was it because she was engaged to some guy who was MIA? So many questions rolled around in his mind and lingered on the tip of his tongue.
He wanted to ask her what was going on. He wanted to confront her. After all, their relationship had been built on calling each other out on their crap. They never sugarcoated things. It was something he missed about Isabel.
She had been able to see through him and had always known how to push him to be better.
But the Isabel sitting in the seat next to him wasn’t that Isabel anymore. Something had happened. She’d changed. He just wasn’t sure why.
It was like she’d given up. Not just on them—he wouldn’t blame her if she had—but on her own happiness. It was like she’d decided that living this life in Honey Grove was all she was good for. That she needed to take care of her father at the expense of her own happiness.
And that was driving him crazy. He wanted to hear her laugh. To see her genuine smile. Because when she smiled, she lit up the room. Angels sang when she smiled.
And Jackson couldn’t help but want to fix all of her problems so he could see that smile again.
He clicked his tongue, knowing that his mom wasn’t going to take too lightly the news that Isabel wasn’t coming. “You might want to think that over. You know my mom—she’ll be at your place with half the town if you don’t come.”
Isabel glanced over at him and sighed. “Yeah, you’re right.” She grabbed her purse as she pulled open the door. She stepped out of the car and then leaned back down to meet his gaze. “I’ll think about it. Tell your mom I’m a maybe?”
He nodded, and before he could say anything, she shut the door and started making her way across the parking lot. He sat there, watching her pull open the door and enter.
Frustration coursed through his veins as he threw his car into drive and sped out of the lot.
So many feelings were crashing inside of him. Feelings he thought he’d gotten control of. But apparently, all it took was a day with Isabel for him to lose his ever-loving mind.
He needed the feel of the ocean across his skin and the salty breeze surrounding him to calm his nerves. To give himself the jolt he needed to snap out of the trance he was in.
It was definitely something he missed while living in New York.
The ocean was calming. It had a way of surrounding him and giving his soul peace. And if there was ever a time in his life when he needed that, it was today.
He followed the familiar streets back to his childhood home. He’d run up to the apartment, throw on his swim trunks and grab his board —if it was still in the garage—and head out to the water.
As soon as he pulled into his parents’ driveway, he parked and got out, leaving the keys in the car. If he saw one of his brothers, he’d invite them out, but he wasn’t going to go out of his way to do it. He didn’t want to be slowed down.
He took the stairs on the side of the garage two at a time. He pulled the spare key from just above the door frame and shoved it into the lock. The cool air from the small apartment hit him as he stepped inside. The drapes were drawn in an effort to keep the rooms cooler.
He set the key down on the counter and made his way back to his room. After slipping on his trunks, he headed out into the kitchen and jumped at the sight of Dean sipping a glass of water and leaning against the counter. His free arm was crossed across his chest, and he was staring off into the distance.
“Hey, man,” Jackson said as he walked over and grabbed a glass of water.
Dean blinked and straightened as he turned toward Jackson. “Hey,” he said. He almost sounded like he’d been caught. But Jackson wasn’t sure why—he was basically a member of the family.
“Going to the beach. Want to come?” Jackson asked after he downed the water.
Dean’s gaze slipped past him as he hesitated for a moment, but then he shook his head. “Naw. I’ve got to head to Humanitarian Hearts. It’s my night to dish up dinner.” Dean turned, setting his empty glass down next to the sink, and shot Jackson a smile.
Jackson shrugged and pulled open the front door. “Suit yourself. I need some sun and some waves.”
Dean nodded, and just as Jackson stepped out into the late afternoon air, Jenna appeared from the back room. She was wearing a t-shirt and had her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Jackson stared at the door as it shut behind him.
That was strange. Since when did Jenna and Dean hang out?
Shaking his head, he forced that question from his mind. He really didn’t care what his baby sister was up to. All that he could think about was grabbing his board and heading to the water.
Thankfully, Sondra Braxton was a notorious pack rat, and he found his board tucked up in the rafters of the garage. He pulled it down and headed over to his car, only to find that it wasn’t going to fit. Frustration built up inside of him as he set the board next to his dad’s truck and jogged up the back stairs.
“Hello?” he called into the kitchen. Female voices could be heard in the living room.
Sondra appeared, and when her gaze landed on Jackson, her smile widened. “Hey, honey. How’s your day going?”
Not wanting to be grilled by his mom—she had a way of pulling the information she wanted from any unwitting soul—he gave her a quick hug as he scanned the kitchen for the keys to the truck.
“Can I borrow Dad’s truck for a bit? I want to head to the beach.”
Sondra pulled back. Her brows furrowed as she stared up at him. “What’s wrong?”
Jackson stilled his frustration as he smiled down at his mom. “Nothing. I just need to see the ocean. It’s been too long.”
Sondra stepped back and swept her gaze over him. “Nope,” she said, waggling her finger in his direction. “I don’t believe it. You take to the beach when you’re upset.” Then realization passed over her features. “Isabel.”
Jackson’s chest squeezed at the sound of her name. It was like torture and pure perfection at the same time.
“I’ll get the keys,” Sondra said with a knowing hint to her voice.
He nodded, thankful that he wasn’t going to be grilled about the woman who’d managed to break his heart again. Sondra emerged from the living room with the truck keys in hand. She pressed them into his palm. She didn’t let go right away, instead, she kept his hand encased in her own.
“I know it’s hard now,” she said, her voice low and meaningful, “but things have a way of working out. Trust me.”
Jackson swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. He hated that his mom had so much faith in true love. She’d forced the four Braxton boys to watch every Hallmark movie that released at Christmas time. She’d even put them into etiquette and dance classes in order to help them “win the girl of their dreams.”
Well it was all fake. Love was fake.
It didn’t exist. At least not for him.
The one girl he loved was untouchable. Her dad hated him, and now she had Bobby—a guy that both Isabel and her father had deemed good enough to marry her.
But not Jackson.
He didn’t matter. And up until now, he’d convinced himself that he didn’t care. But that lie was getting harder and harder for him to maintain.
And maybe he didn’t want to move on. Maybe Isabel was the girl he was supposed to end up with. Maybe the love between them was a once in a lifetime kind of love.
How was he supposed to move on from that?
Frustration brewed in his stomach as he leaned over, kissed his mom on the cheek, and headed out of the house. Sondra shouted something, but Jackson didn’t stop to hear what it was.
Right now, the only thing that would calm his beating heart was the feel of water across his skin and the thrill of the waves under his feet.
And he wasn’t going to stop until he got there.
Then, and only then, would he worry about where he was going to go from here. How he was going to pick up the broken pieces of his heart and move forward.
If he was going to survive, he needed to let the idea of him and Isabel slip away.
Once and for all.