“WHAT DO YOU THINK?” Abby popped up behind her as Calliope stared into the full-length mirror. “I chose a color I thought would represent both the season and the bridesmaid. Did I do okay? I thought this went with your beautiful amethyst eyes.”
Calliope smoothed her hands on the front of the soft silk cascading down her body in a rich shade of indigo. Tiny jeweled accents in the shape of butterflies dotted the modest bodice and edges of the sleeves, which floated down to her fingers. The tapered hem added an unusual but unique look to a dress that could not have been more her.
“It’s exquisite, Abby.”
“You shocked Calliope.” Paige grinned over at them as she struggled into her own more form-fitting, floor-skimming gown, which was the color of primrose. “We should have known you wouldn’t sic ugly bridesmaids gowns on us.”
“Lori?” Abby turned toward her long-time friend and assistant manager. “Oh, no. Lori, what’s wrong? Don’t you like it?” She abandoned Calliope and rushed over to the seamstress, who’d stopped hemming and looked up in alarm, pins pinched between her lips.
“It’s beautiful,” Lori whispered. “I’m beautiful.” She blinked and a tear went racing down her cheek. “The color, the cut. I never imagined…” Lori trailed off with a laugh. “I’m sorry. I just never expected…this.”
Calliope helped the seamstress stand and silently nodded for her to give them a few minutes. Lori Bradley was beautiful. She always had been, but she’d spent so many years defining herself by her weight, that she’d never truly believed it. Not until she saw herself through Matt Knight’s eyes. And finally, through her own.
“I bet you feel pretty silly arguing with me over being a bridesmaid now,” Abby teased.
“Abby can always find a way to say ‘I told you’ so without actually saying it,” Holly said from her seat on the sofa. The women had taken over one of the three suites in the Flutterby, designating it wedding central for the days leading up to the Christmas Eve wedding.
“I thought the green was perfect for you.” Abby walked around and fluffed Lori’s shoulder-length brown hair. “Not that neon green, but a winter garden green. Like holly.”
“Like Holly what?” Holly asked as she sipped a flute of sparkling cider.
“Very funny.” Abby stuck her tongue out at her best friend. “You good to go? I know it’s not traditional, having a long skirt and separate top, but…”
“Elastic waistband.” Holly pointed to her belly, currently encased in a rich shade of garnet. “I’m more than good. Other than we’re out of cider.”
“How about some herbal tea?” Calliope rubbed a hand down Lori’s arm as the other woman continued to stare, dumbfounded, in the mirror. “You do know Matt’s going to drop to his knees when he sees you in this,” Calliope whispered to Lori.
“Matt drops to his knees when she walks in the door,” Abby teased. “We should all be so lucky.”
“I am.” Holly and Paige spoke at the same time. The laughter that followed nicked a tiny hole in Calliope’s heart.
“I’ll go get that tea,” she offered. “And send Ramona back in to finish with the hems.”
“Send Charlie and Stella in, will you?” Abby called behind her. “Might as well get us all done at once.”
Calliope nodded and ducked out of the room. She stood just outside the door, trying to catch her breath. What was wrong with her? She wasn’t an envious person. She didn’t get jealous or angry over what other people had, and yet hearing her friends laughing about their happiness and joy at being in love physically hurt. Negative emotions only clouded reality and set one on the wrong path. She should be rejoicing in her friends’ good fortune at finding love, not wishing for it herself.
Not when she knew it would never be hers.
Tears she didn’t realize she’d shed dotted her cheeks and she swiped them away, then shook her head to clear her thoughts. She was being ridiculous. She didn’t need what they had. She did fine on her own. Just as her grandmother had. These weeks were meant to be a celebration of life, of love and the promise of all that was good in life. She would not dwell on what she couldn’t control.
She padded down the hall toward the lobby, where she found Charlie and Stella curled up in the bay window seat, a book clutched between them. “Girls? Time for your fittings.”
“Oh, wow.” Stella’s eyes went wide and a smile spread across her face. “You look so pretty! That dress! It has butterflies on it!” She leaped off the seat and dashed around Calliope again and again. “Oh, do you think mine looks like this? Will I have butterflies? And the color!”
“Why don’t you go in and see. Go on.” Calliope pushed her toward the hall. “Charlie?”
The little go-getter seemed quieter than usual. “Everything okay?”
Charlie shrugged. “I guess.” She made as if she was reading, but Calliope wasn’t fooled. Postponing her tea run, Calliope took the seat her sister had abandoned and folded her hands in her lap. “I’m just sad.”
“I spotted that.” Calliope nodded. “For any particular reason?”
“Simon said my ideas for the sandcastle gingerbread house won’t work and I told him that we were a team and a team means we do this together. I didn’t call any of his ideas stupid.”
“I’m sure you didn’t,” Calliope assured her.
“My ideas aren’t stupid,” Charlie twisted her mouth until it was as crooked as her pigtails. “But boys are.”
“Well, I’m not sure that’s fair.” Movement flashed out of the corner of her eye. Xander was sitting on the other side of the window. His gaze landed on Calliope’s even as she struggled with the whole concept of competition.
“So I told him,” Charlie went on, “if he didn’t want to share ideas, then he could start his own team. Then he said it doesn’t matter anyway because we can’t find an adult to be our supervisor and that the whole thing was stupid. But you know what I think?”
“What do you think?”
“I think he’s afraid we won’t win. But I don’t care if we win. I just want to try. I have this really cool idea for the moat, to keep the water inside and around the castle, but Simon’s right. It doesn’t matter ’cause no one will help us.”
Calliope offered Charlie a weak smile and swallowed the unfamiliar lump of guilt. The entire event had slipped her mind. “Why haven’t you or Stella asked me to help?”
Charlie frowned. “Stella said you wouldn’t do it. She said you don’t like things that put people against each other.”
“That’s true. But in this case I could make an exception, seeing it’s the two of you.” Since a competition didn’t usually involve two of her favorite children arguing. Never mind the fact that by doing so they were proving her point about competition, she had it in her power to help the situation. Whether she agreed or not shouldn’t matter.
“Charlie—”
“You know what?” Xander stood up and came around his chair to join them. He stooped down in front of Charlie and brushed a gentle hand across Calliope’s knee. “My grandfather used to tell me that intention is the most important thing when it comes to competition.”
“Xander,” Calliope warned.
“Stay with me here.” He grinned. “If all someone wants is to win, then they aren’t really paying attention to the real task, which is to build a great gingerbread sandcastle. All they’re focused on is the end result. That gives you an advantage, Charlie.”
“It does?” Charlie scrunched her nose. “How?”
“Think about it this way. When you’re building your castle, you’re thinking about doing the best job you can, right? Because you want a great castle. Not because you want to win some prize. While other people will be worrying and wondering about what everyone else is doing, you’re just focused on what you’re doing. That’s a pretty good mind-set for competition. It’s what I try to keep in mind, anyway.”
“Do you really believe that?” Calliope asked before she thought better of it. “All those times you competed with your brother? You were just focused on the task rather than beating him?”
“Most of the time.” Xander shrugged. “That’s not to say I didn’t celebrate when I kicked his butt.” He winked at Charlie, who lost her frown and found her beautiful, crooked-tooth smile. “But whatever I did, I tried to learn something. And that’s what competitions like that are for.”
“We still don’t have an adult on our team,” Charlie said.
“Actually…” Calliope cleared her throat. “I’ve been thinking about it and I’d like to be your adult supervisor. But I don’t know a lot about sandcastles or constructing them.”
“That sounds like a challenge to me,” Xander said before Calliope could regret her statement. “And I accept. I’m afraid I won’t be here for the event, but I can see my way clear of doing a bit of advance sandcastle training. What do you say, Charlie? Will Calliope do?”
“You both want to help us?” Charlie asked. “Really?”
As if Calliope could refuse that freckled face. “Really.”
“Oh, thank you, Calliope!” Charlie tossed her book aside and launched herself into Calliope’s arms. “I can’t wait to tell Mom and Dad someone will help. They felt real bad ’cause they have to work. And thank you, Xander.” She gave him the same treatment, and as Xander looked over the top of Charlie’s red head, Calliope’s heart tightened in her chest. “I’ll get all my notes together and we can start practicing. And then I’m going to tell Simon that he was wrong and we get to build a fantastic castle after all!” She ran down the hall and slammed into the bridal suite.
“Well.” Calliope stood up and brushed her hands down the front of her dress. “If only all life’s problems were so easily solved.”
“Yes.” Xander nodded. “You look beautiful, by the way.” He stepped closer and tapped a gentle finger against one of the butterflies around her neck. “That color makes your eyes sparkle more than usual.”
“Yes, apparently that’s why Abby chose it.” She should step back. Away from him. Far away. But the warmth of his smile drew her in the opposite direction. Toward him.
“Abby has a good eye.” His voice lowered and reverberated in her belly. “I didn’t mean to goad you into helping them. I don’t like seeing anyone upset.”
“I know.” And she did. He’d been so good with his sister, with Stella. In the way he’d treated her when they’d visited her mother. “I’m afraid I didn’t say yes because of you, though.”
“No?” His finger trailed along the neckline to her shoulder, danced up the side of her throat. She turned her face into his hand as he cupped her cheek.
“What are you doing here, Xander?” Calliope was finding it hard to talk—where were the words? Why had they abandoned her?
“Waiting for Alethea. And helping you.”
“I don’t need your help.” She didn’t need anyone’s help. No matter how much she wanted it.
“I know.” He dipped his face toward hers. She felt his breath brush her cheek. She shivered and closed her eyes. Meant to turn away. And turned into him instead.
She’d never been kissed the way Xander kissed her. As if she was both adored and desired. As if the entire universe came to a screeching halt because all that mattered was how she felt in his arms. Arms that slipped down and around and pulled her against him.
“You enchant me,” he murmured against her lips. “It’s like everything lightens when you’re near me.”
“I know. I feel the same about you.” She kept her eyes closed because she knew if she looked at him, she’d never want to look anywhere else. “But this isn’t real. It’s temporary. It can’t be more than that.”
“Why not?”
Now she did look at him. And felt herself fall utterly and completely in love. She should tell him the truth: that he’d never be happy in the open, impulsive world she lived in. And she’d never survive in the cage he inhabited. But if not the truth, he at least deserved an answer. “Because I’m not meant to be anyone’s forever.”
* * *
XANDER WATCHED CALLIOPE all but float across the lobby and disappear behind the glass doors leading to the restaurant. His entire body buzzed, as if it hadn’t known what alive was until he’d touched her. He hadn’t been joking when he’d said she enchanted him. There wasn’t any other word to define it. And he’d tried to find one. Endlessly.
“Anything I can do for you, Mr. Costas?” Willa came out from the back office and took her seat behind the registration desk.
“Xander, please.” He still looked around for his father when someone called him Mr. Costas. “And no thanks, I’m okay. Um, actually.” He walked over to the desk. “Do you have another copy of the holiday events schedule? Now that I’ll be sticking around a little longer, I was wondering what was going on.”
“Certainly.” Willa handed him a pamphlet.
He scanned the list. Caroling around town, a Christmas parade at the harbor, the gingerbread sandcastle competition. Holiday candy-making and a secret Santa party at the youth center. “This Christmas market on Sunday? Is that at Calliope’s farm?”
“Yes. It’s the fifth time she’s hosted. It’s kind of a craft fair where the residents sell what they make through the year. We set up tents, play holiday music, roast chestnuts. Calliope makes it snow.”
“Snow, huh?” Did the nature-loving Calliope make an exception and coat her fields and flora with shredded plastic?
“No one’s sure how she does it. One of those holiday miracles.” Willa’s thin, pretty face brightened as she talked. “I don’t think I want to know. I’d rather believe in the magic, wouldn’t you?”
“I would indeed.” His cell phone rang and he excused himself as he recognized the mayor’s office number. “Gil. Good to hear from you.”
“I hope so,” Gil Hamilton said. “Sorry about the cancellation. I’ve been dealing with some unexpected things. Life of a small-town mayor and all.”
“I’m sure you’re never bored. Are you calling to reschedule?”
“More like calling to confirm. I heard you’re planning on leaving on Thursday.”
“Ah, change of plans, actually. My sister came out to join me and I’m taking some extra time.”
“Then you’re still interested in submitting a revised design?”
“I am.” Because he didn’t have a choice. No matter how enchanting and distracting Xander found Butterfly Harbor and Calliope Jones, he still had a family business to save. Alarm bells clanged in Xander’s head when the mayor didn’t respond. “Why?”
“Well, to be safe I put out some other feelers and got a pretty good response. I’m going to be meeting with some other firms and architects after the first of the year.”
Meaning Gil had been so unimpressed with their submitted proposal he’d decided to look elsewhere. Great. Xander pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. “Is Costas Architecture still in the running?”
“If you want to be, absolutely. To be honest, I wasn’t certain how enthusiastic you were about the project after our initial meeting. But time’s turning into an issue, Xander. I’d need something concrete and cohesive by early January if we’re going to break ground next spring.”
“You’ll have it sooner.” Xander’s heart pounded unsteadily in his chest. “And you won’t be disappointed.” Again.
Pocketing his phone, Xander knew what he needed. He had to get out of his own head, push aside the doubt and fears and find a way through this mental block of his. He needed inspiration. And in Butterfly Harbor, there was only one person who could provide it.
“Is it okay to go in the kitchen?” Xander asked Willa. “I’d like to look in on my sister.”
“Sure.” Willa waved him back as the front door opened. “Hey, Kendall. Oh, Kendall Davidson, Xander Costas.” Willa got to her feet as a thin brunette entered the inn. Her intense dark eyes, black cargo pants and black T-shirt reminded Xander of a female action star who had seen too many battles. A painful-looking group of burn scars stretched across her neck and up the side of her face. “Xander’s designing the butterfly sanctuary up near Calliope’s place.”
“The architect.” Kendall offered her hand with a sharp nod. “Yes, she mentioned someone was in town who might be able to give me a hand with something. No, wait, Willa, I need you, too.”
“Me?” Willa couldn’t have looked more surprised if Kendall had coasted in on roller skates.
“Calliope said your grandfather once worked up at Liberty Lighthouse.”
“Yes, he did.” Willa nodded. “He was one of the last keepers, but when he was a boy, he worked on the construction.”
“Any chance you still have any notes or records he kept from that time?”
“You’re looking to restore it to its original specs?” Xander’s interest was piqued.
“I am. Lighthouses are testaments of time. I’d like it to reflect that.”
“I can check with my mother.” Willa grabbed her cell phone and started typing. “We kept a lot of Grandpa’s stuff in the attic. Can you give us a few days? I’m not sure we’ll actually find anything, but it’s worth a shot. We have to go up for our Christmas decorations, anyway.”
“Great. I’ll check back in on Monday?” Kendall rapped her knuckles against the counter.
“Perfect.” Willa nodded. “Thanks for asking.”
“You know much about lighthouses?” Kendall asked Xander, pinning him with a dark-eyed stare that had him swallowing hard.
“I know some. I also have a few contacts on the east coast who have worked on restoration committees. Anything in particular you’re looking for?”
“Authenticity. And maybe some advice. The structure seems sound enough, but I wouldn’t mind a second pair of professional eyes.”
What an interesting prospect. “Give me time to do some research and hear back from my contacts.”
“Works for me. Just come whenever you want.”
“You sure? I’m an early bird.”
“Sounds good to me. I don’t sleep much, so my schedule’s pretty open. Thanks, Willa.”
“You bet.” Willa watched her leave. “I think that’s the most I’ve heard her say since she arrived in town.”
“Looks like she’s had a rough go of things.”
“Rumor has it,” Willa agreed. “She and Matt Knight are close friends. If you play poker tonight, you’ll meet him.”
Xander’s eyebrows shot up. “How did you know I was invited to poker?”
Willa grinned and tucked her mousy brown hair behind her ears. “Small town. We know everything.”
* * *
“ANTE UP!”
At Luke Saxon’s order, Xander tossed a red poker chip onto the center of the table as Jason dealt out the next hand. “Aces wild, pairs or better to open. Kyle, keep those cards up and close, please. No tempting eyes.” He looked pointedly at Ozzy Lakeman, one of Luke’s deputies who sat back in his chair as if he’d been caught cheating on a test.
“Simon, check your chips.” Luke motioned for his nine-year-old son to organize his pile.
Odd, playing poker in a sheriff’s station. A station that, if the residual paint fumes were any indication, had recently been remodeled and updated. Desks lined the perimeter of the room behind a large partition and pass-through. Luke’s private office sat in the back corner near another door leading to what Xander assumed were holding cells. Did anyone ever get arrested in Butterfly Harbor?
“You just asked me here to take my money, didn’t you?” Xander looked at his forlorn hand and folded immediately. Luke’s golden retriever, Cash, took that as his cue to leave his bed and come over to look for treats. “Hey, boy.” Xander sank his hand into the dog’s neck and scrubbed. He’d always wanted a dog, but with all his travelling, it had never been practical.
As if approving of the attention, Cash sat and leaned his head on Xander’s knee. If only life was as simple as it was for a dog.
Jason grinned as Matt Knight elbowed him in the ribs.
“Jason might have referred to you as new meat,” Matt said. “Fletcher? You in this hand or not?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Fletcher Bradley, Luke’s second in command, waved him off as he finished his phone call. “Sweetheart, I promise we’ll hit the beach tomorrow. Yes, I know what a promise is. How about I pick you up from school and we’ll get to go seashell hunting together. Just the two of us. Yeah. Okay. Yes, I’ll come in and say good-night when I get home. I love you. Not one word,” he said to the testosterone-filled table after he hung up. “Luke, I need tomorrow afternoon off so I can take Charlie shell-hunting.”
“Got you covered,” Luke said. “Or rather Ozzy does.”
“Man, I swear we are one phone call away from becoming a knitting group,” Ozzy muttered as Fletcher grabbed a plate and piled on the sandwiches Jason had provided, then made up a second plate of fresh veggies to bring to Ozzy, who had been on a self-imposed diet as of late. Cash abandoned Xander for fuller meat pastures and walked around to bug Fletcher.
“Glad to be out of that phase and into grandfather-dom.” Jake Campbell, former sheriff and Luke’s father-in-law, raised the bet then leaned over to check Simon’s hand. “How you doing, Simon?”
“I should bet, right?” Simon asked.
“I would,” Jake said in a way that made Xander glad he’d folded.
“Charlie’s got a head full of sandcastles now that Calliope’s agreed to supervise,” Fletcher said as he sat down, checked his cards and folded immediately. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s great and all, but this holiday season might be the death of me. You do not even want to know the list of assembly-required gifts she’s getting this year. I won’t sleep until New Year’s.”
Xander smirked. That besotted expression on Fletcher’s face told everyone in the room how crazy he was about his new daughter.
“What’s Charlie going to do with seashells?” Simon asked from his seat between his father and grandfather.
“That’s none of your business,” Luke said as Jason dealt new cards to Luke, Jake, Ozzy and himself. “You gave up that right when you ditched her.”
“Because her ideas won’t work! They don’t know what they’re doing.” Simon insisted. “Kyle does. He thinks like me.”
“Scary prospect.” Matt grinned across the table at his soon-to-be son.
“Keep me out of this.” Kyle shook his head and flinched.
“Doesn’t make what you did right, Simon,” Luke said. “You hurt her feelings. Now you’ll have to deal with the consequences.”
“We don’t have an adult to help anyway,” Simon grumbled.
“Should have thought about that sooner,” Luke told him. “You could be working with her and the other girls instead of being left out.”
Xander admired how Luke spoke to his son. There was respect there, affection. Along with the gentle guidance that was needed when a boy made a mistake.
“I’ll fix it. Not sure she’ll forgive me though.” Simon looked forlorn, there was uncertainty in his eyes.
“Who needs a refill?” Xander pushed out of his chair and collected the empty beer, water and root beer bottles.
“I’m good,” Luke said as the others chimed in. “Wouldn’t mind one of those brownies, though. Holly hasn’t been able to stomach chocolate since she got pregnant.”
“Coming up.” Xander thought back to Alethea’s comments in the diner and had to agree about the welcome he’d received in town. After only a few days he considered Jason a friend and by extension that meant he’d been included in this group of men. Decompressing like this, getting away from thoughts of business and drawings and deadlines and…Calliope. Xander dropped half the bottles before he reached the recycler. “Sorry. Brain blip.” He scooped them into the bin and wiped his hands on his slacks.
“I’ve had those blips. Mine’s named Lori.” Matt reached for the water bottle he’d been nursing for the last hour. “Who’s yours?”
“Calliope,” Jason, Luke and Fletcher all said at the same time.
“I was wrong. We are officially a knitting group.” Ozzy banged his head on the table. Kyle and Simon laughed.
“How did you all…?” Xander frowned. “Oh, right. Never mind.”
“Doesn’t have anything to do with our women.” Fletcher slapped a hand on his back when he returned to the table. “Jason outed you.”
“Seriously?” Xander looked at his friend. “Are you punishing me for siccing my sister on your kitchen?”
“Hardly. Alethea’s got talent, man. Serious talent. She’s a natural. But next time you want to make out with our local butterfly woman, might I suggest you do it somewhere less public than a hotel lobby?”
“We weren’t making out.” Xander felt his face go hot.
“Are you kids calling it something else these days?” Jason grinned.
“Please. I’m older than you are. We’re friendly, that’s all. And Ozzy’s right. When did poker turn into a gossip session?”
“Ain’t gossip if you have an eyewitness,” Matt laughed. “Dude, relax. As long as you don’t plan on breaking her heart, we’re all for Calliope finally finding someone.” He arched an eyebrow and locked his jaw. “You aren’t planning on breaking her heart, are you?”
“No, I am not.” Near as Xander could tell, he couldn’t get anywhere near her heart. Every time he tried she shut him down like a storm cellar door during a tornado. “Rest easy, fellas. I’m leaving next week. That’s not enough time to break anything, especially someone’s heart.”
“Huh.” Jason inclined his head. “Clueless, party of one.”
“Listen up, boys,” Jake said in his oldest-man-in-the-room voice, addressing Kyle and Simon. “You can’t get this education in school.”
“I already know about girls.” Simon shrugged.
“Girls are what make the world go ’round,” Fletcher told him. “Around and around and around…”
Around and around. Xander nodded in agreement as he stared at the growing pile of circular chips on the table. An octagonal table. With a center of chips. A center… “That’s it.”
The table went silent as hands froze in midbet.
“I thought you were out?” Fletcher frowned.
“No, no, sorry. Wait. Can I…give me a second.” Mind racing, heart pounding, Xander popped back on his feet and started arranging the chips into stacks. If the table acted as the outline of the building, then the building itself, with a center…
“Is this a New York thing?” Matt asked Jason, who hushed him.
“This…this could actually work.” Xander stood up straight and looked down at the arrangement. “She was right. Calliope. She was absolutely right. We don’t have to cut down the trees. Well, some at least, but then we could use them… I can’t believe this.” He slapped a hand on his head. “This could actually work!”
“What’s he been drinking?” Fletcher asked.
“I have to go.” Xander needed his notepad, and his computer. And coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. “This has been great. Really great.” He grabbed his suit jacket off the back of his chair. “You’ll never know how great. Just…thanks.”