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Nathan pulled his shirt over his head, feeling oddly self-conscious. It wasn’t as if Helen had never seen his naked torso before. Their families had spent time together at lakes and pools, and even spent a joint vacation in Mexico. But that had been years ago, and his male pattern baldness bothered him less than the fact his stomach was not as flat as it used to be and the hairs on his chest were grey and wiry.
Helen strode forward without a shade of hesitancy or awkwardness. She trailed a fingertip from the hollow at the base of his throat, down his breastbone, past his bellybutton and to the waistband of his shorts. The fit was loose and his erection obvious. He hissed as that teasing finger traced his length, tapping the tip and making him jerk.
Her smile was feline, crafty. “Let me help.” She slipped the button through its hole and reached for the zipper tab. He sucked in a breath and her grin grew. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.”
She inched the fastener down and, when she had room to maneuver, slid her hand inside his jockeys and clasped him firmly.
“Oh, god.” Nathan’s eyes closed and he gripped her hips for support.
“You feel so good. Hot. Heavy.” Her fingers moved up and down, playing, discovering. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed touching a man, having a man touch me.”
Helen’s reminder of her husband could have troubled Nathan, but it didn’t. Given her recent words and actions, as well as the flush on her neck and the gleam in her eyes, it appeared she enjoyed sex. If she’d learned that with Aaron, Nathan had no complaints. He’d gladly be the beneficiary of her enthusiasm now.
He groaned in dismay when she released him to shimmy his clothing over his hips. She bent forward to help him step out and he swept his hands along the bumps in her spine, admiring the curve and sway of her buttocks, the dip at her lower back.
She straightened, and her breath on his thigh as she lifted her head just about sent him over the edge. It had been a long time since he’d had sex, too. He’d had two short-lived relationships after Wanda died, both stunted by his focus on work and unwillingness to define his commitment.
As well as his continued attraction to Helen, even though her attention had been on supporting then mourning Aaron.
Now naked, he wrapped his arms around her torso and pulled her tight. Her softness and heat moulded against him, her hands on his back, her hips pressed against his groin. Their lips fused, tongues tangled, and the flare of his desire rose higher and higher. He flicked open the rear fastening of her bra and without releasing her mouth, slipped it from her body. Her nipples were hard points against his chest and he cupped her plush breasts with reverence.
“I’ve waited—” He stopped, a faint sense of self-preservation warning him not to admit how long he’d wanted to touch her like this. Confessing he’d desired her years before either of their spouses had passed away might not go over well.
“What?” She spoke absently, her attention on his neck, her nibbling bites zinging sparks along his nerve endings.
“Let’s lay down.”
Appearing not to notice his non sequitur, she slipped off her panties and climbed on the bed, laying her head against the single pillow she’d left there. The pulse pounding in his groin thickened as he surveyed her, lush and open. “You’re beautiful.” He sat beside her, one foot on the floor, one knee drawn up on the mattress.
“You don’t have to say things like that.” She swept her hand up and down her naked body. “I’m going to have sex with you no matter what.”
He heard a shyness behind her teasing tone and met her gaze seriously. “You...are...beautiful,” he repeated, spacing his words deliberately, and following up his declaration with strokes and caresses with his hands and mouth.
She responded fiercely and freely, writhing under his ministrations. Her thighs trembled, her hands gripped his skull, and with a shocking suddenness her first orgasm rippled through her.
Several minutes later she was damp and panting, moaning she could take no more, and he felt a masculine pride that he’d been able to bring her to such limp satiation. Settling between her thighs, his cock nestled at her centre, he braced his elbows on either side of her head and stared down at her flushed face.
“Are you sure about this?” It might kill him, but if she’d changed her mind, he could still stop. What came next would change their relationship forever. A tiny yet rational part of his brain was still wondering what had caused her to issue her proposition—but a lusty and larger part didn’t care why. Not at all.
“More than sure.” Her fingers dug into his hips and she wriggled until he nudged her entrance.
His relief at her assurance was all encompassing, yet he gritted his teeth, leashing his desire. One more thing. “What about a condom?”
She froze. “Do we need one? I haven’t been with anyone since Aaron. And I’m past menopause.” Her eyes widened. “Nathan Spieth! What have you been up to?”
“Nothing! I haven’t been with anyone for two years. You know that.”
“Just because you haven’t introduced me to anyone doesn’t mean you haven’t been sneaking around.”
She seemed rather pleased at the idea he might have slept with other women. What did that mean? Then she slid one hand between them and gripped his cock, rubbing it against her wetness, and he could barely remember his own name, let alone worry about what she believed of his escapades.
“I want you inside me,” she whispered, lifting her hips.
He slid home, shuddering, and buried his face in the curve of her neck.
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HELEN WRAPPED HER ARMS and legs around Nathan, feeling the muscles in his back and thighs flexing and rippling as he thrust inside her.
She’d forgotten how wonderful the sensation of fullness was, how intimate and joyful the connection with another human being could be. Nathan had coaxed liquid, rolling orgasms out of her with his fingers and tongue, and she was more than happy to let him take his own satisfaction from her body now. Tenderness swept through her, and she whispered encouragement, urging him on, until with one last deep plunge he stiffened and groaned, then slowly collapsed on top of her.
Tears welled and she blinked them away, shocked at the depth of her emotions. Gratitude for the gift they had shared filled her. No matter what happened with the biopsy, she’d had this night with a man she loved. Maybe not as she’d loved Aaron, but one she loved as a friend, a confidante. She trusted Nathan implicitly, was incredibly thankful for his acceptance of her invitation. She knew she couldn’t impose on him like this again. It had been an impulse, a life-affirming quest, not something to be repeated.
He shifted and her arms tightened. Heeding her wordless request, he relaxed again, his weight warm and welcome like a comforting blanket. His head rested on the pillow next to hers, his face turned toward her, his breathing slowing and gentling, puffing in her ear with a ticklish touch.
When her embrace loosened a few minutes later, Nathan rolled onto his side, bending one elbow to support his head. She could feel his gaze, but didn’t meet his eyes.
“Thank you,” she said, keeping her tone light. “I think I needed that.”
“You’re welcome.”
Forestalling anything else he might have been planning to say, she asked, “What time is it?”
Nathan looked over his shoulder to the nightstand where her alarm clock stood. “Two minutes after ten.”
“You’ll be wanting to get home, I guess.”
“Helen...”
Unexpectedly petrified at what he might say next, she scrambled to the edge of the bed and stood. “This isn’t going to make things awkward between us, is it?”
He rolled off the opposite side of the mattress and they faced each other across the queen-sized expanse. “Maybe we should have thought of that before.”
Helen wished she had a robe handy to wrap herself in. Naked before Nathan in the heat of sex was one thing. Naked in the cooling afterglow was just...weird. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking very clearly when I asked you.”
“Don’t apologize.” Nathan’s eyes narrowed. “You didn’t exactly force me. I could have said no.”
She opened her mouth to ask why he hadn’t done that exact thing, and then closed it with a snap. On second thought, she didn’t want to know why her friend of twenty years had decided to have sex with her. Her own reasons were muddied and selfish and tied up in fear. She didn’t want to hear he had the same issues.
The silence between them grew fraught and edgy. Helen made herself meet Nathan’s direct gaze. His pale blue eyes regarded her calmly, and some of her nervousness dissipated. “It’s too late to change our minds now. We’ll have to deal with it.” Ignoring her nudity, she walked around the foot of the bed and held out her hand. “Friends still?”
He studied her face a moment longer, then gave one sharp jerk of his chin in a brisk nod. “Friends.” He clasped her hand, shook it, and released her.
Though she knew this night didn’t mean anything, that it had been the impulse of the moment for both of them, she felt a stab of regret. He hadn’t had to agree quite so quickly, had he? Annoyed with herself, she stepped back. “Do you want to clean up before you go?”
“I’ll use the hall bathroom.” He gathered his shorts and shirt from the floor. “Goodnight, Helen.”
“Goodnight.”
He strode out of the bedroom. She released a sigh of relief when his naked ass disappeared. Time apart was what they needed to get back on an even keel, to rebuild the cozy comfortableness of their friendship.
Yet as she headed to the en suite to take a shower, an unexpected weight of loneliness rested on her shoulders.