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Nathan stacked his work paraphernalia on the cleanest part of the garage floor and exited through the big door. Helen hadn’t moved from her place on her lawn. She waggled her fingers and his heart leaped, pathetically pleased at the wordless invitation.
“How was your day? Have a good time with Nora?” His dress shoes clicked on the concrete of her driveway and sweat sprang up under his arms when he stepped into the full glare of the sun.
“Always.” Helen’s mouth curved up, laugh lines bracketing her lips.
He joined her in the shade of the tree and blinked, getting his first good look at her face. “I didn’t notice before...”
Her forehead crinkled, and then her smile grew. “Oh my god, I’d forgotten. Helen wanted to play spa again.”
Turquoise blue eyeshadow caked her lids and clumpy black mascara clung to her lashes. Blush darkened her usually pale cheeks to a garish red, and the equally scarlet lipstick had been generously smeared outside the lines of her lips.
“I see.” He cleared his throat and bit his lip. Do not laugh. Do not laugh.
“I look like a demented clown.” She widened her eyes and stretched her lips in a frightening caricature of a happy expression, completely unembarrassed to be caught in public displaying a makeover by a four-year-old.
He choked, his chest fizzing, and let his laughter ring out. After the tensions of the day it felt amazing and contentment flooded through him. Between snorts, he managed to say, “Can I come over tonight? I’ve missed you.”
Helen’s chuckles faded away, and a shadow of vulnerability flitted behind her gaudy mask. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“Good,” he said with satisfaction, and warmth returned to her eyes.
“Meet you out back in five?” She gestured to her face with both hands. “Maybe a little longer. I have to get this off, and that might take a while.”
When he climbed the stairs to her deck a few minutes later she was waiting for him, her skin scrubbed and glowing, two glasses of white already poured. He chose the seat next to her on the outdoor sofa and she curled her feet under her and leaned her head on his shoulder. The position was fast becoming one of his favourites. For the first time in hours he felt settled inside his skin, his heart rate steady and sure.
“So, you had visual proof of how my day went,” she said. “How was yours?”
Her question caused a blip in his contentment. She’d never been anything but supportive of his goals, but that was when they were still only possibilities. Would her feelings change when she heard the news he had to share?
Did he want it to? What would he do if she asked him not to go? Not that he thought she would, but what if she did?
“My interview is scheduled for Friday.” He kept his voice casual as he continued. “And I got a call from Stanley Allbright. Mount Morgan has accepted the proposal.” His stomach plummeted as if he’d jumped off a diving board and he held his breath.
Helen stilled for an instant, then dropped her feet to the deck and swivelled to face him. “Congratulations!” Pride shone in her bright eyes and her face stretched in a wide grin. He had to be imagining there was an echo of sadness under her sincerity. “I knew you would do it. You must be beside yourself.”
“I’m not quite sure what I feel.” He rolled his shoulders restlessly. “I should be over the moon, but I think I’m still in shock.” It was natural he’d feel out of sorts until he came to terms with the change this meant for his life.
“Nathan.” Helen took his chin in her fingers, her touch cool, and shook his head gently. “You’ve wanted this promotion a long time, worked so hard for it. Make sure you enjoy it.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy I signed the deal. It’s the biggest of my career.” Thoughts that had been swirling at the back of his mind since Allbright’s call coalesced suddenly. “If I get the promotion, I won’t be dealing directly with accounts anymore. I’ll miss that, a lot. Many of my clients are friends as well as customers.” Helen tilted her head, studying him intently, waiting as he thought through the nuances of his revelation. “My job is rewarding, challenging, and secure. As much as I want this promotion, it wouldn’t be a disaster if I didn’t get it.”
“Maybe not. But you can’t let change scare you away from your dreams. You deserve this, Nathan. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, even yourself.” She cuddled next to him again, her hand resting on his thigh.
Helen was right. Change was scary. But he didn’t think fear had led him to this moment.
What if the lure of his long-held dream had blinded him to other paths? Sure, a promotion would be great. Being closer to his children and grandchildren would be fantastic.
But maybe the change he really wanted was sitting next to him right now.
Not getting the promotion also meant more time to explore Helen—her body, her mind, her soul. His stomach swooped with excitement...the excitement that had been missing after Allbright’s call.
He needed to think. Today had been full of celebration and confusion. It was time to put it all aside and let his subconscious work.
Draping his arm over Helen’s shoulders, he tucked her closer to his side. “I’ve done what I can,” he said. “Now it’s out of my hands. Until the interview, anyway.” He leaned to place his still full wineglass on the low table at their feet. “Enough work talk. So, you missed me? How much?”
Helen put her own glass down, cupped her hand over his groin and gave him a challenging, teasing gaze. “This much.”
Dinner was distinctly delayed.
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HELEN HELD HER FINGERS to her lips as she watched Nathan return to his house later that evening. He’d kissed her with a tenderness that had brought the tears lying so close to the surface these days to her eyes. She’d blinked them away, determined he wouldn’t see her distress, hiding it as she’d hid it since his announcement.
He was leaving her. She’d known it intellectually for weeks, but now she felt it in her bones, in her skin, in her very being. Every caress they’d shared when they’d made love before dinner had been one more step toward goodbye.
Obviously, expecting it to happen didn’t make it any easier to accept. Not that she had a choice. Nathan would never refuse his dream, no matter how uncertain he’d seemed. He just needed time to get used to the idea. And so did she.
The next morning, she parked in her slot behind Golden Dragon Tattoos and prepared to face the other obstacle blocking her from the peace of mind she desperately craved. She glared at the brick wall in front of her, grey and nondescript and unoffensive, completely undeserving of her censure. It was nothing like the riotously painted windows at the front of the store. Sven was continually updating the glass mural, erasing designs no longer in style and adding new ones that showcased his abilities in glorious, oversize detail.
What would Golden Dragon be like without him? Bless his heart—he was the grumpy, arrogant soul of the business. Jamie was skilled and talented, but they didn’t have the confidence or chutzpah Sven did, and neither did Helen.
Besides, she had no business training. How could she run one? And how could she take it on at all if cancer treatments were in her future?
As she readied the shop for the day’s customers, she couldn’t help but view everything from the perspective of owner. She’d always hated the storage room. It was cramped and dingy, but Sven had always refused to let her reorganize and freshen it up. And when she’d been getting her own tattoos, she’d thought how nice it would be if the room were a little more feminine. Like a spa, with soothing colours and meditative music. Of course, the whine of the machine would drown that out, but it would still be nice in between applications.
Then she thought about licenses and taxes and employee insurance and scheduling staff and all the minutia that Sven currently handled. None of that sounded like fun.
It sounded like a challenge. One she desperately wanted to take up.
Sven banged in a few minutes later. The rumble of his voice rolled up the hall, followed by the light tenor of Jamie’s. They must have come in at the same time. Soon, two sets of footsteps approached and she watched the entrance to the front room warily.
Sven stomped in and faced her across the counter as if he were a customer. Jamie, slight of build with a dark cap of hair and anxious hazel eyes, hovered behind him.
“So? You’ve had time to think. What’s it going to be?” Sven’s forceful bark no longer had the power to cow Helen.
She rolled her eyes at Jamie and they grinned back. “Hello, Sven. How are you?”
He ignored her civility. “Stop making faces. India and I leave for Thailand in three weeks. We have to have this wrapped up before we go.”
The biopsy results were expected any day now, but until then she had to keep stalling. “Are you sure you don’t want me to manage the place while you’re gone? Then when you come back you can take over again.”
“I want out, free and clear. I told you before, my days of doing good work are numbered, the way my hands are going. Jamie is ready to take over.”
Jamie leaned around Sven’s huge form. “I’m not sure—"
“Well, I am.” Sven’s tone brooked no argument and Jamie subsided.
The trouble was, Helen agreed with Sven. “It’s not you I’m worried about, Jamie. You are amazingly talented and will only get better. I’m the weak link here.” In more ways than one.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you didn’t want to buy the shop.” Sven’s brows lowered menacingly over his narrowed eyes.
“I do. It’s just—” Helen owed him an explanation. He was a good, though gruff, boss, and was offering her something he loved. She couldn’t let him think she’d treat his baby with anything less than the respect it deserved. Besides, now that Megan knew, her secret was out.
“I might have cancer.” Saying it fast didn’t stop the horror from creeping across her shoulder blades. “I’ll know for sure very soon. Please, can you wait a few more days?”
Jamie uttered a small squeak and Sven’s frown deepened even more ferociously.
“Ah, for fuck’s sake.” Sven rounded the counter and enveloped her in a bear hug. For a moment she stood stiff and frozen, shocked by the unexpected embrace. She couldn’t remember Sven even patting her on the shoulder. “I knew something was up when you had to change your schedule last week. Figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”
Her arms slipped around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest. He smelled of soap and shampoo and faintly of the sweat lingering from his morning workout. “I should have said something then.”
“Nah. Your business is your business.” His hand thudded against her back in a caress that knocked out her breath. Releasing her, he stepped back.
Jamie sidled into his place. Their hug was much gentler but no less sincere. “I can understand why you wouldn’t want to commit to anything, not with that hanging over your head. What if...” They trailed away, their natural reticence taking over.
“What if what?” Sven had never let Jamie hide in the background, and obviously wasn’t starting now.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind learning the business side of things.” Jamie bit their lip nervously. “I can’t afford to buy it, but there’s still time to teach me at a lot before you go.”
Still off balance from Sven’s unconditional—and unexpected—support, Helen didn’t grasp Jamie’s point as fast as Sven did. She could only gape as the two persons discussed her future without waiting for her to catch up.
“Helen owns it, does what she can, you take over any other duties?” Sven’s gravelly voice was as thoughtful as she’d ever heard it.
“Then, maybe, when Helen’s ready to sell, I could take over.” Jamie’s shyness was fading fast in the face of Sven’s approval.
“I like it.” Sven nodded with all the royal benevolence of a Norse god.
It was time to regain control. “I still need a week. I can’t, simply can’t, make a decision today.”
“Fine.” Sven huffed a reluctant agreement. “But Jamie and I start training right away. Now, who have we got first?”