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Blakely
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“So, how’s Tyler?” Asher asks, leaning back in his chair after polishing off the last of his sandwich.
“He’s good. He’s actually in New York right now,” I say, instantly regretting saying as much.
“So that’s why you invited me to lunch.” Asher crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“That’s not why. I invited you because I wanted to see you. After last weekend, I don’t know. I guess I just really started to think about what you said. About how we were friends first. And you’re right, we were. You were my best friend. And I’ve missed having you in my life. Not just as my boyfriend, but as my friend,” I stutter out nervously.
“Does this mean you forgive me for leaving?”
“I already told you I forgive you.”
“Yeah, but we both know you were just saying that in an attempt to make me go away,” he points out.
“True,” I answer bluntly. “But I am trying to. I’m trying to understand.”
“I’m sorry.” Asher stares at me from across the table and all I want to do is climb into his arms and hold him so tight. “I did what I felt like I had to do to survive. I’m so sorry you got caught in that cross fire. I’m sorry that in my attempt to grieve my father, your life was completely upended. I’m so sorry, B. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say it enough.”
“What’s done is done.” I force a smile. “We can’t change the past. All we can do is move forward.”
“Speaking of moving forward, I’m going to look at a few houses this afternoon.”
“Wow.” I nod slowly, a little surprised by the news.
“Wow?” Asher eyes me curiously.
“No, I mean, it’s a good thing. I just didn’t expect you to start looking so quickly.”
“I wasn’t originally planning to but it’s time. Mary agreed to go with me so I could have a second opinion. I’ve done so much in my life, but this is the first time I’ve ever bought a house. It feels like a really big deal.”
“It is a big deal.” I swallow past the knot in my throat. “So, Mary’s going with you?” I ask, trying to play it cool.
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t realize you and Mary were that close.” I can’t stop myself from expressing my shock, an unexpected wave of jealousy washing over me.
I know it’s completely unwarranted, especially given the fact that I’m planning to marry another man in a couple of weeks, but the thought of him and Mary together makes my skin crawl.
“Out of everyone in this town, she’s the only person that’s been truly nice to me.” He shrugs. “Which is kind of weird because I always felt like she hated me when we were together.”
“She never hated you. I think she just felt like she had to compete with you,” I say, wondering if maybe I might have misread the situation even then. If Mary had a thing for Asher, certainly I would have known a long time ago... Wouldn’t I have?
“Probably because she did.” He chuckles. “Anyway, I’m meeting her this afternoon. Trisha has a few places lined up for us to walk through.”
“So you’re really doing it?”
“Yep. I’m really doing it.” He reaches across the table, sliding his hand over mine. I look down, sucking in a sharp breath before Asher seems to realize what he’s done. Quickly withdrawing his hand, he gives me a sad smile. “Sorry.” He quickly adds, “I know it’s been six years, but I can’t get used to not being able to touch you.”
“Asher,” I start.
“It’s okay.” He lets out a slow sigh, looking out the large window next to us where Florence’s Flower Shop can be seen perfectly across the street. “I’m guessing you’re probably going to need to head back soon.” He looks back to me.
“Yeah, probably.” I check the time on my phone.
“Have you thought anymore about Sunday?” he asks and I’m honestly surprised it’s taken him this long to bring it up.
“I have.” I pause.
“And?”
I open my mouth to tell him I can’t go, that it’s one thing to ease into this friendship by sharing a meal, but it’s quite another to spend nearly the entire day together. Four hours of which will be spent alone in the car, but for some reason all of the excuses I was prepared to give him die on my tongue.
“Count me in,” I say instead, not able to regret it when that brilliant smile of his lights up his face.
“Seriously?” he questions like maybe I’m messing with him.
“Seriously,” I confirm. “I mean, unless you were hoping I’d say no.” I cock a brow at him.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t expecting you to.”
“I think it’ll be fun,” I say, not sure who I’m trying to convince. Of course it will be fun. The question is, will it be the kind of fun that’s appropriate for a woman who’s getting ready to marry another man to have.
I don’t know if it’s Tyler being out of town, or Asher doing what he always does to me, but I haven’t been able to get him off my mind. It’s been that way since he came back, but this week it feels different. I can’t pinpoint it or even begin to understand where the change occurred, but I find myself wanting to be with him rather than wanting to avoid him.
Like today for example. I told myself a million times not to call him, yet what did I do? I broke down and called him. After checking my phone every minute for the last four days, I couldn’t take it anymore. Inviting him to lunch was my excuse. Truth be told, I felt the overwhelming urge to hear his voice. And even now, even though I know I need to go back to work, I can’t make myself move from this table.
“Me too,” he agrees, pulling me back to the conversation at hand. “We will probably want to get going kind of early. Does nine o’clock sound okay to you? I can pick you up at your place.”
“Nine sounds perfect, but I’d rather meet at my parents’ house, if that’s okay.”
“Don’t want me to see where you live?” he questions.
“It’s not that, I just...”
“You’re afraid that if I know where you live, I’ll show up unannounced. And I’m guessing your fiancé wouldn’t like that all too much.”
“No. I mean yes, but no that’s not it. It just feels wrong having you come to the home I share with Tyler. Like I’m betraying him somehow. I would feel more comfortable if we met at my mom and dads’.”
“And what does Tyler think about you and me spending time together? I’m guessing he can’t be too thrilled about it.”
“It’s fine. He trusts me,” I lie.
I haven’t even told Tyler about dinner at my parents’ yet. I don’t know how I’m going to even begin to explain this. I know I shouldn’t be doing it. I know I should be avoiding Asher at all cost, but it’s like there’s this underlying force that’s driving all my decisions. Even though I pretend to be in control, I’m actually not at all.
I plan to tell Tyler everything when he gets back from New York. If I can convince him that Asher and I are trying to rebuild our friendship, I think he will be supportive. Ty is incredible that way. I’m not saying he won’t be upset that I didn’t tell him everything right away, but I like to think that in the end he’ll accept it because he knows how important Asher was, or is, to me. I never tried to hide that from him or downplay what we had. If anything, sometimes I think I was too honest, which may serve to come back and bite me in the future.
“Well that’s good. If I were him I can’t say this is something I would be okay with.” He gestures between us. “If you were mine, the last place I’d want you to be is out spending time with another man.”
“Are you trying to talk me out of going to the beach with you?” I sit back, trying to figure out his play.
“Not at all. I’m just saying, he’s clearly a better man than I am.”
“He’s pretty incredible,” I agree, not missing the hurt that passes over his face for the briefest of moments. “Anyway, so nine on Sunday?” I revert back to what we were originally talking about.
“Yeah. I’ll pick you up at your parents’ house.” He nods, quickly pushing to a stand, the chair legs skidding loudly against the tile floor. “I should let you get back.” He waits for me to stand before dropping some cash on the table.
“Okay,” I agree quietly, a little thrown by his quick change in demeanor.
I wait until we’ve stepped outside and crossed the street before addressing him again. “Hey Asher.”
“Yeah?” He stops, turning to face me.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I’m just sorry.” I shrug, not really sure how to apologize for something I shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for in the first place.
If we’re friends, and that’s really what we’re doing here, I shouldn’t feel guilty for talking about Tyler. But every time he comes up I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Oddly enough, I feel like I’m betraying Asher by being with Tyler and not the other way around.
“Hey.” He reaches out and tips my chin up with a gentle nudge before letting his hand fall back down. “Don’t apologize for being happy.”
“I just...”
“Don’t,” he cuts me off. “I’ll see you Sunday, okay?”
“Okay.” I shuffle from one foot to the other, feeling like I should say more, yet having no idea what that should be.
“This was fun.” His easy smile falls into place.
“It was,” I agree, holding my breath when he leans in close.
His lips brush the side of my cheek so softly I’m left wondering if they actually touched me at all, before he pulls away.
“Bye, B.” He winks, turning toward his car seconds later.
“Bye.” I throw up a wave as he ducks into the driver’s seat, the engine rumbling to life almost instantly.
He meets my gaze through the window and nods once before shifting the car into gear and quickly driving away.
I realize I haven’t moved a single inch when he stops at the stop sign a few feet from where I am before turning left, disappearing around the corner. I give myself a physical and mental shake, trying to snap myself out of the haze I seem to enter anytime Asher is around.
Heading back toward the shop, I can’t help but think about Mary. On one hand, I’m glad Asher has someone he can count on. On the other, I can’t help but feel a little betrayed. Mary is supposed to be my friend. And while I know how immature that sounds, I can’t stop myself from thinking it.
It’s something I stew over for the next few hours, well into the evening. I don’t know why. I shouldn’t care that Mary and Asher are friends. I should be happy that they are. Only I’m not happy. In fact, I’m the exact opposite of happy. To the point that by the time I close the shop down just after seven in the evening, I’m down right angry about it with no real logical explanation as to why.
“You’re jealous.” The little voice in my head points out for the hundredth time today, as if I don’t already know this much. The minute he said he asked Mary to go house hunting with him my first thought was, “why didn’t he ask me.”
Climbing into my blue Jetta, I toss my purse onto the passenger seat before fishing out my cell phone. Pulling up Asher’s number, without really thinking it through, I hit the call button and press the device to my ear.
It only rings twice before his voicemail picks up. My heart instantly sinks.
“Get it together,” I say to myself, not sure what’s gotten into me today or why I feel so all over the place.
Scrolling further down my contact list, I click on Tyler’s name, equally frustrated when the call goes to voicemail after a couple rings.
Dropping my forehead against the steering wheel, I let out a frustrated groan before finally deciding I know exactly who I need to talk to.
Sitting upright, I tap on Allie’s name, not surprised when she answers on the first ring.
“Hey, B,” she slurs slightly and I instantly know she’s been drinking.
“Hey, are you drunk?” I immediately call her out.
“Only a little.” She giggles.
“Where are you?”
“I’m at Hilary’s apartment. You should come over. We’ve taken over the community pool and have turned it into our own private bar and float.” She laughs.
“Pretty sure you’re not allowed to do that.”
“Pretty sure we don’t care,” she shoots back. “Come over.”
“Who all is there?”
“Just me and Hil, Jules and Matt. And then some guy I don’t know.” There is rustling over the speaker before she yells, “Hey, what’s your name again?” A pause. “And Briggs,” she adds. “But I’m pretty sure that’s not his real name.
“Where’s Dean?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.”
“Uh oh. I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Whatever. He’s an ass.”
“Okay, I’m coming over,” I interject, sensing something is off and needing something besides Asher to focus on.
“Sweeeet,” she draws out. “Don’t forget your bathing suit. You’re going to need it.”
“I’ll be there in twenty,” I say, knowing that should give me plenty of time to drop by the house and change. I only live ten minutes from here and Hillary’s complex is only two streets over from mine.
“I’ll see you then,” she says entirely too loudly before disconnecting the call.
