When Kerry swaggered into the office that morning, looking very eighties in a man-size T-shirt which she’d tied in a knot at the waist, Jessica gestured to Mike’s shut door.
‘He’s back.’
‘Have you seen him?’ asked Kerry, putting her clutch bag down on the desk.
‘No,’ said Jessica, eyeing her friend suspiciously. ‘Hey, hang on a minute. Is that the bag you had with you on Saturday night? And is that the same dress you were wearing underneath?’
Kerry couldn’t pretend a second longer. She simply had to share or she would burst.
‘Oh my God, Jess, we were going to be discreet but actually there’s no point because Paul knows anyway, plus I’m not sure I’ve physically got it in me. I’ve spent the whole weekend at Luke’s.’
‘No way! Where is he?’
‘Gone to get coffees with Paul. But, Jess, listen to this. I have had the best sex of my entire life, and not just because I was gagging for it, which obviously I was, but because actually he’s just so lovely,’ she gabbled, looking ridiculously happy.
Jessica felt truly delighted for her friend, who had just sunk into her chair, a dreamy expression plastered across her face.
‘Who’d have thought it, eh?’ said Vanessa drolly, coming over to say hello.
‘And, oh my God, some of the things he said to me in bed,’ replied Kerry, her eyes wide.
‘Oh, it’s so romantic,’ said Jessica.
‘I know,’ squealed Kerry in agreement. ‘My knickers are twitching just thinking about him.’
‘Less romantic,’ said Vanessa, and Jessica laughed, just as the cause of Kerry’s ‘twitching knickers’ walked into the office. Bringing up the rear was Paul. Jessica immediately stopped laughing and felt herself turn to jelly. Then her cell phone started to ring. It was Angelica. Damn, she kept forgetting to call her back, but now certainly wasn’t the right time to talk (again), so she switched her phone off.
‘Good morning, everyone,’ announced Luke to the entire room. A statement, not a greeting.
‘Bloody hell,’ said Julian. ‘Is this what it’s going to be like around here from now on? Like a frigging episode of Friends.’
‘Told them all, then?’ said Luke, rolling his eyes in mock frustration, when actually you could see he was only too happy to shout about his conquest from the rooftops. He kissed Kerry tenderly on the forehead before delivering their coffees on to the desk.
Meanwhile, Paul strolled casually over to Jessica, hoping to get away unobserved while people concentrated on the Luke and Kerry sideshow.
‘Morning, you,’ he said softly.
‘Hello,’ Jessica said shyly, looking up.
‘How’s Mike’s garden?’
‘Watered,’ she smiled back.
‘Lucky it,’ said Paul. ‘So I hope you know you left me high and dry, playing gooseberry for the whole weekend with love’s young dream over there?’
Jessica giggled as she followed his gaze. Luke had draped himself across Kerry’s desk and was giving her shoulders a massage. They were both laughing about something and Kerry’s expression was positively euphoric. Just then, Natasha arrived through the door. She looked flustered about being late, but not so flustered that she couldn’t stop next to the loved-up couple and pretend to stick her fingers down her throat.
‘Well, I’m sure you managed,’ Jessica said flatly to Paul. The sight of his ex was a timely reminder not to get carried away flirting.
‘Did Dulcie get off all right?’ enquired Paul, who’d spotted how Jessica’s face had fallen as soon as she’d seen Natasha. He’d realized in the club that someone must have filled Jessica in on his dating history, and this had confirmed it. He just hoped (for his ego’s sake) that she didn’t know all the details about how it had ended.
Jessica nodded. ‘Yeah, she got away fine.’
‘Look,’ said Paul, keen to get things back on track, ‘just say if you think I’m being forward, but I would really like to get to know you better and, while I don’t give a shit what the rest of the office think about that, it’s probably best not to give them stuff to gossip about at such an early stage … so …’
‘So,’ echoed Jessica.
‘What I’m trying to say is that I think we should go out. I mean, I’d like to take you out.’
‘And you don’t care what anyone here would think about that, but want to keep it secret?’ asked Jessica, feeling as confused as she sounded. Should she be worried about Natasha or not, because she didn’t fancy taking her on as a rival for Paul’s affections.
‘Yes,’ stated Paul, who was trying not to laugh now. ‘Look, I’ll spell it out. Just in case you think I do – and I could be way off here – I don’t care what Natasha in particular thinks, OK? I thought in the club that might be what you were thinking, but I really don’t. However, I do think it would be better for both of us to see how things pan out without putting extra pressure on ourselves by having everybody talk about us.’
‘I see,’ said Jessica, blushing at the mere sound of the word ‘us’. ‘Of course, I mean, I totally agree,’ she said coyly, her heart starting to race again as she stared into Paul’s eyes.
‘So when can I take you out?’ he asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
He was nervous, realized Jessica. Adorable.
‘Well …’ she said, playing for time, knowing she should play it cool. Should tell him that she was busy tonight and tomorrow for that matter. That he could take her out on Wednesday or even wait until the weekend. ‘How about tonight?’
Paul grinned. ‘Tonight sounds perfect. Shall we go straight from here or would you prefer me to pick you up from home later?’
Jessica considered the two options. ‘Why don’t you pick me up?’ she said. ‘If that’s cool with you.’
‘It is indeed,’ he said. ‘And then I can see where you live.’
‘Yeah, though don’t get too excited. Like I said the other day, my aunt’s house is cute but nothing special.’
‘O-K,’ said Paul, sounding bemused.
Meanwhile, from the inner sanctum of his office, Mike was enjoying the playful hubbub of conversation from his team outside. It was a comforting sound, he realized. The sound of normality, of people who were relaxed in each other’s company … and happy. His phone rang.
‘Mike Connor,’ he answered in an incredibly eighties fashion.
‘Mike, David.’
‘David,’ said Mike, forcing his head back into work mode.
‘Good holiday?’
‘Not bad, thanks, not bad,’ he replied. ‘Not particularly great either, to be honest, but not bad.’
‘Diane coping, is she?’
‘Errrmm,’ replied Mike doubtfully.
‘I see. Well, Wendy and I have been talking and we think she needs some help. A nanny or whatever it is you call them these days. Acting like a martyr isn’t helping anyone, is it?’
‘W-e-ell …’
‘Anyway, I’ll leave you to sort that one out. In the meantime, I’m sending you a memo about a one-off special I want organized for the autumn schedule.’
‘Great,’ said Mike. ‘Sounds interesting, I’ll get right on to it. But about the other thing – I’m just not sure that …’
‘Nonsense,’ said David firmly, batting away any possibility of a discussion.
‘Right then,’ said Mike weakly, but David had already put the phone down.
Bossy old bastard, thought Mike. God, it was a nightmare having your father-in-law for a boss sometimes. Diane wasn’t going back to work so she didn’t want a nanny. He had suggested getting some help, but she’d said she saw it as an admission of failure, or something like that. Still, David had a point. Something had to be done and – judging by the latest phone call with his wife – sooner rather than later. He picked up the phone again.
‘Love, you wouldn’t happen to know anyone who does babysitting, would you?’ he asked his secretary. His secretary, who was in fact a PA, loathed the fact that Mike always referred to her as his secretary, and hated being called ‘love’ even more. She also had no idea why on earth Mike should think that she should know anyone who babysat. If he was hinting at her, he could think again.
‘No,’ she replied. ‘But I can ask around. Is it for anything special?’
‘It’s my wife’s birthday in a couple of days, that’s all. Thought I might take her out for dinner,’ said Mike smoothly, feeling like a bit of a Casanova. A new man.
‘That’s nice,’ said Jane, unimpressed. ‘Don’t you have anyone you usually use then?’ she added. She didn’t really give a shit but thought she’d ask.
‘We did have, but she’s gone and moved back to Brazil. Selfish cow, eh?’ Mike finished jovially. But Jane didn’t laugh, so what he’d said didn’t sound funny, just churlish. ‘Well, let me know if you have any thoughts,’ he said, putting the phone down. Just then, someone stuck their head round the door. ‘Kerry, how are you? How’s it been going? I’m just about to watch last week’s show, which I’ve heard was fantastic.’
‘It was all right,’ said Kerry ‘Never a minute to bask in the glory though, eh? On to the next one.’
‘Yes, remind me again?’
‘Marisa Tomei, Michael McIntyre and Jonny Lee Miller.’
‘Bloody great,’ said Mike, impressed by the starry line-up. ‘Jonny’s a new booking, isn’t he?’
‘He is,’ said Kerry, trying not to grin at Mike’s use of first name only. ‘Anyway, I need you to sign off on some receipts please?’
‘Sure,’ said Mike, taking the papers from her. ‘By the way, how’s the new girl working out?’
‘Bloody brilliantly actually, Mike,’ said Kerry wholeheartedly. ‘Bloody brilliantly.’
‘Good. Ask her to come in, will you, I want to thank her for watering my garden.’
‘Lost the use of your legs?’
‘Y-e-e-s,’ Mike replied, not at all sure how to take that. Kerry had always slightly scared him.
Thirty seconds later and it was Jessica’s turn to knock on his door.
‘Hi, Mike,’ she said cheerfully. ‘Welcome home, it’s great to see you back.’
‘Thanks,’ said Mike, wondering what had caused her to look quite so happy with life. ‘I just wanted to thank you for –’ His mobile rang. ‘Hang on, I’ll just be a sec, it’s my wife … Hello, darling? … Are you OK? What’s wrong now?’ he said, looking stressed.
Jessica pointed at the door, wondering if she should come back later and let him have some privacy, but Mike shook his head and raised one hand, indicating that she should stay. So then Jessica had no choice but to listen to what was clearly a very private conversation, while staring about the uninspiring room. There was nothing to focus on so she found herself staring intently at the ceiling, like a builder trying to assess what needed doing.
‘Just tell me what the matter is,’ implored Mike. ‘All right … look, calm down. I won’t go to the pub then if it’s such a big deal … OK … let’s talk when I get home … All right then, love. Yes … yes, I’ll see you later. No, I haven’t forgotten to buy Calpol.’
Mike put the phone down. His whole face was etched with strain; even his tan couldn’t disguise it.
‘Um, are you OK?’ enquired Jessica politely.
‘Yes,’ he said distractedly. ‘It’s just my wife. She’s finding things a bit tough at the moment, that’s all.’
‘Oh, I see,’ said Jessica, who didn’t really. As far as she could recall, the woman she’d seen in the photographs at Mike’s looked like she had every reason to be pretty happy with her lot.
‘She’s determined to do it all herself, you see,’ said Mike, who for some reason felt compelled to try and explain. To make some kind of sense of what was happening to his wife. For his own benefit, more than anything. ‘I think she just needs a break but every time I say anything she says she’s too tired to think about it. Still, I want to find a babysitter for Wednesday so we can at least go out for her birthday, but –’
Mike stopped, realizing that he was pouring his heart out to someone he barely knew, who had recently given up her free time to water his garden. ‘Anyway, you didn’t come into work to listen to my boring woes. Besides, the reason I asked to see you was so I could thank you for watering the garden while we were away. I hope you didn’t trek over too many times.’
‘Oh, no, no,’ said Jessica airily, thinking guiltily of the scorching week during which the garden had lain parched, gasping for a drink.
‘I’m just so pleased everything’s still alive,’ she said.
‘Oh, it’s not. The pots are all dead, but that’s OK,’ said Mike vaguely. Jessica gulped, waiting to be reprimanded. However, it quickly became apparent that he wasn’t planning on saying anything more about it. He was obviously distracted, concerned for his wife. Jessica’s heart went out to him.
‘Maybe I could babysit?’ she offered hesitantly.
Mike looked up. ‘Sorry?’
‘Maybe I could babysit for you and your wife? That is, if you trust me enough to stay with your children. I mean, I don’t have much proper experience with kids, but I guess if you’re going out in the evening they’d be asleep anyway?’
‘Yes,’ said Mike, giving Jessica his full attention. ‘Yes, they would. But, gosh, no, I can’t expect you to leap from one favour to another. Not, of course, that it would be a favour. I’d pay you. Pay you whatever you wanted, in fact. Five pounds an hour? No, not enough – six, seven maybe? I don’t know what nannies get these days really. My wife usually sorts things like that out, but I’d certainly pay you properly anyway.’
‘Oh, well, don’t worry about that,’ said Jessica, embarrassed.
Mike chewed the corner of his thumb nail, thinking rapidly.
‘Look, to be honest, it would be bloody brilliant if you did because at the moment we just don’t have anyone. My parents are ancient, hers are bloody useless and she refuses to even consider anyone who doesn’t come recommended,’ he said as if his wife’s reluctance to leave their children with any old freak was tiresome and wholly unreasonable. ‘But I don’t want you to think I was hinting before, because I wasn’t,’ he added, getting disproportionately excited. ‘Though obviously I’d still have to check with my wife, convince her you’re not a kiddie fiddler or anything, but if you’re honestly serious then it would be terrific.’
‘Right,’ said Jessica doubtfully, wondering what she’d got herself into.
‘Just a thought though. Probably best not to mention it to anyone else in the office? It’s just that it blurs the boundaries a bit. Besides, I’m sure you know by now what terrible gossips they all are.’
‘Fine,’ said Jessica, only too happy to keep things quiet considering the reaction she’d got the last time she’d offered to help.
‘OK, well, I’ll call Diane back now then.’
‘Wonderful,’ said Jessica, turning to leave.
‘And, Jessica?’
‘Yes, Mike?’
‘Thank you,’ he said, scrunching up his face to emphasize how much he meant it, which actually made him seem more insincere.
‘You’re so welcome,’ she said, privately thinking that he and his wife seemed to be the very definition of people who really did need to ‘get out more’.
A happier man, Mike turned his attentions back to his in-box. Ah, there was the promised one from David about the autumn special. He read through it quickly. It sounded great, actually. A very good idea indeed. Fantastic, now he would have something substantial to talk about at the meeting tomorrow morning too. Things were on the up. Good old Miss Bender.