CHAPTER 10

“There they are! My gals!”

The lunch ladies at Beechwood Middle School were one of a kind. Adored by some, feared by others, celebrated by all. Plus, their grilled cheese will blow your mind. Three different kinds of cheeses! From foreign lands! Best in the tristate area. The lunch ladies didn’t put up with antics or tomfoolery, which was one of the many reasons Rube and Boob loved interacting with them so much. And the feeling was mutual.

“Uh-oh. Here comes trouble,” Maude said, clocking Rube and Boob’s arrival. She was the brains behind the operation. Her recipes and elite cooking skills turned basic dishes into something special. She’s got a spice rack you wouldn’t believe.

“Double trouble,” Hildegard concurred. She was the brawn, carrying giant steel pots of boiling soup wherever they needed to go. Her strength was unparalleled. Even the coaches were envious. One time, I saw her lift a crate of milk with one hand. True story.

“Don’t listen to them, boys. I’ve got you covered,” Armani said with a wink and a smile. She was the beauty. When Armani looked at you, it was as if she could see directly into your soul. And she always gives you extra helpings of Nachos Grande.

“What’s the latest gossip, Rube?” asked Hildegard. “I heard you really gave it to that trottel, Atwater. Good for you.”

“Trottel means jerk in German,” Boob mumbled.

Maude shook her head. “Atwater won’t let me use my special seasoning in the meatloaf anymore. Said it’s too expensive. I told him he’s full of—”

“Easy, Maude,” Armani said. “We don’t want to get ourselves or the boys in trouble.” She scooped heaping helpings of mac ’n’ cheese onto Rube’s and Boob’s trays. “Don’t tell anybody, but you two are my favorite students. We’re all very proud of you for speaking up.”

“Just doing my part,” Rube replied.

As the boys moved through the line, they noticed that posters for the Switcheroo Dance were now plastered everywhere.

“Have you and Emilia talked yet?” Boob asked. “She’s probably mad you haven’t. Or sad. Maybe a little of both. You’re going to have to face her one of these days.”

“I know that. Don’t you think I know that?”

“No, I don’t. ’Cuz you act like she never even asked you. I haven’t heard a peep from you about any of it! Do you even want to go with Emilia?”

Rube wasn’t interested in answering that question, but his reply escaped his mouth before he could stop it. “No!” Oops. Didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“What?! Then why did you say yes?”

Grrrrrr. “I was being nice! She put me on the spot, and I didn’t want to make her feel weird. Stop worrying about my date and worry about your own. Oh, wait. You don’t have one.”

“Hahaha. Touchy, touchy, Mister Goldberg,” Boob chuckled. “I haven’t decided if I’m going to the dance, but if I do, I don’t need a date. I’m perfectly fine going by myself. I’m not the one who’s desperate to make someone jealous . . . ”

What does that mean?

The boys paid for their lunches and retired to their table to dig into their yogurts, crunch on their carrot sticks, and stuff their faces with Armani’s famous chicken salad among other things. But an unexpected surprise was waiting just around the corner. Like always.

“Rube!” shouted Emilia.

PFFFFFFFFFT! Surprised by Emilia, Rube spit his chocolate milk across the table.

Speak of the devil.

“Where have you been? We need to discuss our plan for the dance!” Emilia retrieved a notepad from her pocket. “First of all, outfits. I’m wearing a chunky gold sweater and a black skirt. Fall feels. Keeping it casual. I need you to wear a suit. Something fitted. Fashion preferred. Also, my parents want to have us over for pre-dance cocktails.” She stopped herself. “Mocktails. Whatever. Oh, and I need to know what your machine does so I can plan my social media around it.”

Rube was confused by that last part. “I’m confused by that last part . . .”

“You’re making a machine for the dance, right? Everyone thinks you’re making a machine.” Emilia’s tone was sour and harsh. “So, what is it?”

“No wiggling out of this now, Goldberg,” Boob murmured. “You are sca-rewed.”

Choose your words carefully, Rube. I mean it this time.

“It’s a supersecret surprise,” Rube said, faking a smile.

Nice one. Now you’ve got to make something that’ll impress the whole school. Again.

Emilia considered the prospect. “That actually works for me! Yay!” As she moved to give Rube an awkward peck on the cheek, Pearl and Reina showed up with news.

“Atwater is here again and—” Pearl was taken aback by Emilia’s sudden show of affection. “Oh. Sorry. Did I interrupt?”

“Nope!” Rube said, hastily sliding his chair away from Emilia. “Just finishing up some business.” Please don’t ask what business I’m taking about.

Pearl and Emilia stared icily at each other, unblinking. In recent days, a rash of gossip had spread throughout the school regarding their campaigns. There were rumors, both silly and vicious, spreading like wildfire. Who had started them? The students had a good idea. Emilia liked to play dirty. Pearl didn’t. Neither candidate felt like addressing the other at this moment, so Reina stepped in to break the ice.

“Emilia, the accusations your campaign made about Pearl lacking school spirit are gross and unfounded,” she said. “I demand you retract them and apologize immediately.”

Emilia grimaced. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Reina refused to let up. “Yes, you do. Don’t play games. Not only have you been spreading rumors, but a trash can full of Pearl’s crumpled-up flyers was found near the science lab, and your fingerprints were all over them.”

“The Li’l Sleuthy Detective Kit tells no lies,” Boob crooned.

“Care to explain?” asked Reina. “Or do we take this matter to the top? I’m sure Principal Kim would have something to say about this gross injustice.”

“Ugh, fine,” Emilia huffed. “Sorry about the school spirit thing. And yeah, my fingerprints were all over those ugly flyers. So what? Politics is a game, and I’m going to win. That’s all you need to know.” She put her notepad away and patted Rube on the head. “Can’t wait to see you all dressed up, handsome. Bye!”

I’m very very VERY uncomfortable right now.

After Emilia left, Pearl turned to Rube and Boob. Bigger things demanded their attention. “Atwater is coming. I’m going to confront him in front of everyone, and I need you to back me up.”

“Whoa. Should we be wearing armor?” asked Boob. ’Cuz that guy looks like he wants to body slam us every time we open our mouths.”

“We’ve got your back. No question,” Rube countered. “But are you sure this is a good idea?” He gestured to the hundreds of students in the lunchroom. “Atwater isn’t going to like being called out in front of the world.” That’s why it needs to happen, doofus. “Never mind. I answered my own question. Please proceed.”

Soon Atwater barreled through the lunchroom like a freight train. He hated being in student spaces with a fiery passion. But his hunger outweighed everything, and there was only one place to buy hot food in the building. Pearl saw him coming and made her move.

“Hello, sir!” she exclaimed, chasing after Atwater. He pretended not to hear. “Excuse me? Superintendent? I’d like to share something important with you.” The room fell silent as Atwater kept walking. “I tried making an appointment and going through all the proper channels, but I didn’t receive a response . . . ” His pace quickened but Pearl wasn’t letting up. “I have a petition here, signed by more than four hundred students, teachers, and parents, demanding that the truth about Beechwood’s history be taught in school.” Atwater stopped, turned, and reviewed the petition. “Took Reina and me a few days to get them all, but I think it’s important that people be heard.”

“You collected these?” he asked.

Pearl nodded. “Reina did too.”

“Hi!” Reina said, waving. “We’ve met before. You probably don’t remember because you were in a boiling red rage.”

Atwater flipped through the pages of signatures, eyeing each and every one. “Do you think this means something?” He ripped the stack of papers in half and tossed the remnants on the ground. “I make the rules around here. You don’t. Be a good little girl and sit down.”

Atwater loomed over Pearl in a threatening way. Not gonna happen, jackass! Rube swiftly moved in between the two of them. “Pardon me,” he said. Don’t even try it, he meant.

“And what do you think you’re doing, boy?” the superintendent growled.

Rube didn’t hesitate. “The right thing. You’ve probably never heard of it.”

Atwater slowed his roll. He was still seething with anger, but the fact that everyone was watching made him deeply uncomfortable. Pearl, however, couldn’t stop smiling.

“It’s fine that you ripped up the petition. I made copies,” she said. “Some of them went to local news organizations along with other information I dug up. According to my research, Superintendent Atwater, if it hadn’t been for your family’s money and influence, you wouldn’t have gotten into prep school or college. I’ve seen your transcripts, and they’re not pretty. Before joining the school district a couple of months ago, you actually didn’t do much of anything. But I suppose being friends with Senator Wharfman has its perks. Which begs the question: How do you have a job in education without a background in education? Don’t answer. I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough. Anyway, thanks for your time. Enjoy the rest of your day!”

She’s unbelievably good. And thorough!

Atwater assessed the situation and realized he was at an impasse. There was no easy way out of this, and any move he made would be the wrong one. Eat it, Atwater! He shot Pearl and Rube each a dirty look, then angrily retreated to the front office. As soon as he was out of sight, the lunchroom exploded in rapturous applause. Students were so impressed, they hooted and hollered until they were blue in the face. Wow. Awesome. Pearl was completely overwhelmed by the warm reception.

“Whoa,” she said, breathless. “For a minute there I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. But now I feel like I might actually win this election.”

“What did I miss?” Zach asked, arriving on the scene. “Just walked by Atwater in the hallway. He looked like someone peed in his Cheetos.”

“I’ll tell you later,” replied Pearl. “C’mon, Reina. Let’s go revise my speech for the student forum. I’ve got a million new ideas and need to get them out of my brain now.”

As the girls scurried off, talking about campaign details as they walked, Zach felt annoyed that he’d been snubbed by his future date. “She leaves just as I get here? That’s messed up. What’s her problem?”

“Pearl is probably looking for Gladys the Creepy Doll,” Boob replied. “Know what I’m talking about?” Zach scrunched his nose in confusion. So did Rube. What is Boob on about now? “Oh. Sorry. Guess I was thinking of something else. Anyway, how was your day at the park with Pearl, Zach? Heard you two have been hanging out lately, getting hot and heavy.”

“We had a blast,” Zach said. “Things have worked out really well for Pearl and me since the three of you decided to lie low. More time for us to get to know each other.”

As Zach pulled out his phone and flashed a series of photographs from his time with Pearl, an inexplicable feeling came over Rube. It wasn’t nervousness. It wasn’t anger. He suddenly felt insecure.

Ugh. Insecurity is a bad feeling. BAD FEELING. Not a fan.

“Oops!” Zach cried out. “Some of these pics are not for everyone.” He quickly shoved the phone back in his pocket and shot Rube a wink. “Private thing between Pearl and me.”

Oh, is it now?

“Pssst. Hey.” Boob unzipped his backpack and showed off two cans of soda to Zach. “Smuggled these babies in this morning. You like? Dare me to drink one?”

“Right now?” Zach’s eyes glistened with anticipation. “Drinking soda during school hours is a highly illegal activity.”

“Bet you can’t drink one in less than a minute.”

Zach couldn’t resist the challenge. “Watch me.” He reached into Boob’s backpack, grabbed a can of soda, and popped the top. “Down the hatch.” Rube and Boob watched in awe as Zach gulped down the entire thing in less than thirty seconds. “BUUURRRRP! What else you got?” Zach tossed the empty can toward the trash, but Boob caught the thing and stuffed it in his backpack.

“For recycling purposes,” he cooed.

Rube was entertained by Boob’s newfound affinity for Zach. But he was also suspicious.

Is my best friend playing a game?

And if so, am I a part of it without even knowing?

Rube’s heart started to race as his anxiety bubbles began brewing once more.

Hey, where’s that paper Ms. Laffin gave me, anyway?