T heo tossed and turned until the slight hint of the sun rising outside his window urged him to give up and get out of bed. As he dressed, Artie’s rooster announced the all too obvious new day.
Theo slumped into the parlor, dropping onto the sofa heavily. He couldn’t have explained his thoughts even if he tried. He couldn’t commit to knowing that he had any. He couldn’t commit to knowing that anything remained in his head besides a growing, heavy cloud since his conversation with Artie the night before. He had sensed the black cloud, but since the day before, it just seemed to consume him.
He heard his brother come in from milking the goats. He saw him just before he went out to join Sheriff Wright and the posse. He listened to the house relapse into silence.
Theo closed his eyes, allowing the cloud to all but take over. He didn’t want to think. To feel. He didn’t want to do anything.
He didn’t know how long he sat there, allowing himself to drown in his own misery, when a tug on the leg of his trousers made him open his eyes. Hazel stood at his knee, her wide eyes watching his face intently.
For a long moment, Theo only looked at her. Then, summoning what felt like the last of his energy, he managed to find his voice. Or, at least, a voice that came from him, though it sounded strange. “Did you need something?”
The child continued tugging on the fold of his trousers. “I’m scared, Theo.”
He didn’t feel like answering, so he didn’t.
Hazel looked down, twisting, then folding the cloth. “Mama says that Daddy is dead. She…” Her chin quivered as she tried to continue speaking. A tear splashed onto Theo’s leg.
He watched her but made no move.
The child started talking again. “She says Daddy is killed. She told me what killed means.” Another tear.
Why on earth would anyone tell a seven-year-old such a thing?
“Mama…” Hazel took a shaky breath before yanking on his trouser leg. “Mama says we’ll all be next. That-that Artie probably won’t come home.” She finally raised her head, her voice beginning to break. “Will Artie come home, Theo?”
“I’m sure that he will.” It still took effort to speak, but even he couldn’t refuse to answer. “Artie will be fine.”
“You’re sure?” He could see more tears threatening. “Mama says that they might not kill me, because I’m so small. But,” the little girl’s voice finally broke, “but Theo, I don’t want to be all by myself! I don’t want to!”
The tears really fell now. Theo pushed himself forward to lift the little girl onto his lap. Hazel wrapped her arms around his neck as tight as she could, burying her face into his shoulder while her small body heaved with sobs.
“I don’t want everyone to be killed ‘cept me, Theo!” Her voice, muffled against his shirt and broken by sobs, would have hurt the hardest heart. “I don’t want to be left alone—and I don’t want everyone hurt!”
What sort of idiot scares a little girl like that?
He gently loosened her arms as her sobs grew stronger. She clung to his shirt, but he made her sit back far enough she could look at him.
“Hush, hush.” He brushed back the wild hair that had plastered to her face with the tears.
Another terrified sob answered him, shaking her entire body. Theo sighed.
“Hazel, look at me.”
The child tried, though he wondered if anyone could see anything through so many tears.
He smoothed her hair back some more. “Hazel, Artie is going to come back. You and Artie, me, and your mama—we’ll be fine. No one is coming after us all.”
“Daddy isn’t coming back though?”
Theo didn’t want to answer and barely managed to do so. “I don’t think so, Hazel.”
She sniffled with another sob. “But they aren’t going-going to kill you all?”
“No. No, we’ll be all right. Your mama…” He searched for something to say that wasn’t the first words he thought of. “Your mama is upset and saying things that she can’t possibly mean.”
“Are you-you sure?” She couldn’t seem to stop crying. He couldn’t blame her.
“I’m sure, Hazel.”
She held onto his shirt even tighter. “Can I stay with you?” Another sob. “I do-don’t want to go back in there with Mama right now.”
Theo sighed heavily. “You can stay with me. You don’t have to go anywhere.”
His sister wrapped her arms around his neck again, burying her face once more. He didn’t consider pushing her away for once. Instead, he wrapped his arms tight around her small form. Then he sighed once again.
Poor kid…I don’t know how anything will be all right after this, but even I wouldn’t tell Hazel that.
He felt the little girl’s arms tighten around his neck. Artie would have done better to stay behind. Artie would have known how to quiet her without coming off harsh. Theo could only let Hazel cry.
Perhaps Theo should have considered that Hazel actually had exactly what she needed—a safe place to let her tears go. The time for quiet would come later. As for himself, perhaps Theo needed to be needed, to look after someone or something besides his own misery.
Perhaps he should have considered that they both had what they needed at the moment—probably in answer to Artie’s prayers as he made his way to the Superstition Mountains.