Funny that it took Jaxon, or the bug version of Jaxon, to snap me out of my stupor when he grabbed my hand and said, “You didn’t give up on me. Thank you.”
I wanted to respond, but my emotions got the better of me. I could only nod. Jaxon let me go and turned to face Blake, whose eyes immediately glanced at me first. I could see the panic written all over him. He wasn’t sure if I was Sammy or me. That makes two of us.
Blake’s aqua eyes shifted to his brother when Jaxon extended a hand.
“I know it doesn’t look like it, but it’s me. Jaxon,” the bug said in a deep voice. “I’m in control now.”
Blake stared back for a moment. Ignoring the hand, he threw his arms around him instead. Hugging the enormous, hideous form of his brother, Blake wept on his shoulder. The tears I’d fought off earlier sprang back up. Sniffing, I brushed them back with my fingers.
Kate cleared her throat. “As much as I love warm family reunions, the Defenders are probably in the cage by now.”
Blake sat back, swiping his own tears away. “You’re right. Come on, Jaxon. We’re not done for the day. One battle down, but a huge one to go.”
Jaxon, of course, had no idea what Blake was talking about, but luckily for us, he was willing to be caught up while flying.
Listening to Blake rattle off what’d been happening while Jaxon had been basically living in a drugged stupor, I focused on how Blake’s hand felt on mine. He hadn’t said anything when he reached for me when we took off. I knew by the electricity racing through my veins at his touch that I was definitely drawn to him. I aligned my flight to get even closer to his warm body. If he noticed, he made no sign. He continued to stroke my hand with his thumb as his grip remained firm. Feeling the warmness spreading through me, the desire to snuggle up even closer to Blake overwhelming me, I decided I had to be me still. I mean, Sammy wouldn’t want Blake, would she?
With how few dragons and damsels were out, we opted to remain visible. At least until we got closer to the large containment shed. Where we were sure the whole island was buzzing with excitement, dread, or maybe both. It made talking so much easier when you could see each other. Blake didn’t waste time explaining either. So far, Jaxon had listened, quiet and composed. It felt out of place. Where was the fighting between the brothers? Where was the stuff that gave me nightmares?
“So I have the right amounts of adrenaline now to help me control what’s inside me,” Jaxon said, “but you’re saying Sammy added bee DNA too?”
His question was directed at Kate, who opened her mouth to respond.
To my own shock, I replied, “Yes. I did.” Blake’s thumb stopped stroking, but he didn’t let go of my hand.
“Er… I mean, Sammy did,” I stuttered, trying to recover. “She felt that even with the added thought processing, the danger with the Defenders, or bugs, was they’d crave a purpose, and if they didn’t have one, or someone to follow, they could still grow restless. You have to understand, in your bug form, you are a hot mess of adrenaline. You need a thrill as bad as a junkie needs a high. But with the bee DNA, you can channel all that energy and drive into a purpose.”
Blake and Kate stared at me while Jaxon, oblivious to the fact that I shouldn’t be the one explaining, nodded along.
“Makes sense,” he commented, more to himself, while I tried to deal with Blake’s penetrating gaze. “So what do we need to do now?” he asked.
Kate just stared back at me, waiting as Blake’s brows gathered. He still hadn’t released my hand yet.
“We need to get to that container and get the Defenders out. It won’t be easy since they are under the Irukas spell, for lack of a better word, but the bee DNA will help us,” I said, the words coming easily. While my mind screamed, I have no idea what we’re supposed to do! Kate’s the one with the plan!
Where do you think she got that plan, huh? my own voice said in my head.
My stomach sickened. Oh no. Not again. I’m not me, am I?
Let’s just say, neither of us are right now. But let’s worry about this after we put out the major fire, okay?
“Sam?” Blake asked, and I blinked.
“Huh, yeah?” I asked.
“You okay?” he gently asked.
“Yes, why?”
“What Blake really wants to know is are you Sammy or Sam?” Kate bluntly asked. “Truthfully, I wouldn’t mind knowing too.”
“I’m… me,” I said lamely.
Jaxon chuckled, but being a bug made it sound menacing. “I know exactly how you feel.”
Blake’s grip tightened on my hand. He pulled me closer, brushing his lips against my cheek. A shiver raced through me. I liked it.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked again.
I gave him a reassuring smile. “Yes. Don’t worry. I’m Sam.”
Not totally true, the voice reminded me.
Really? Of all the times for you to suddenly appear! Why now?
You think I like this anymore than you do? Look, I know you’ve got questions. Heck, I do too. But we don’t have time to…
Blake leaned over and pressed his lips against mine. Fire raced through me, and I had to resist the temptation to pull him in for a deeper kiss. Not a good time, Blake, I thought with panic, even though I enjoyed his closeness.
Tell me about it. Why don’t you tell your lover boy to hold off, will you? You’ve got Jaxon awaiting his orders. Trust me, you don’t really want a bug to grow impatient, the voice inside my head snapped.
I pulled back, mustering the best smile I could, hoping Blake wouldn’t see right through me. Really, my sanity felt like a bad craft project held together with white glue. Everything was sliding and if I wasn’t careful, I just might fall apart in front of everyone.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” Blake said, ignorant of how not okay I really was.
“Me too.” My voice sounded strange to myself. Alright, Sammy. What do I tell Jaxon?
Open your mouth. I’ll do the rest.
“Jaxon.” This time my voice was steady and sure. I turned to face him. “There’s more to the bee DNA. The one thing every hive needs is their queen. The worker bees will fight to protect her. That pheromone she gives off can trump almost anything, including the Irukas’ song.”
I stopped, letting my words sink in.
“Wait. Are you saying I’m their queen?” he slowly asked, sounding confused.
Kate nodded, and even Blake looked pleased with this idea.
But I had to go and say, “No, I am.”