Because those last couple of lines aren’t in it. She smiles.
And the audience is loving it.
The lights come up over on the Frownie family kitchen set. Mrs. Frownie is pretending to holler out the back door to me while I quickly roll over to the green screen to do the zombie bit.
“Jamie? Be careful on your way to school. The radio said today’s a zombie alert day. And some of our neighbors only sleep when they’re dead tired.”
When I’m in front of the green screen, I fake like I’m pumping my wheels and talk directly to camera three.
“That’s not what Mrs. Frownie really said. It’s just what I heard. Because I have a very vivid imagination.”
Extras playing flesh-dangling zombies start slouching past me.
“My neighbors are mostly sleepy-eyed commuters, shuffling off to work every morning like they’re brain-dead. So to me, they look like zombies. Especially Mrs. Smith from next door.”
Jacky Hart lumbers onstage. The audience gives her a round of entrance applause.
She waves at me. Her hand goes flying.
“Come on, kid,” she says, “give me a hand. I just lost mine.”
“So, um, what’s your favorite street around here?” I ask her.
“The dead ends. Gotta go, kid. Pleased to eat you.”
And that’s when Charlie Garner, playing his space lizard, lurches down the street. “Hey, Jamie. I’m the funniest kid comic on my planet. I was robbed in that contest and I want a rematch. I challenge you to another battle of wits.”
“Sorry,” I say. “I never fight an unarmed alien.”
Jacky shuffles back into the scene. This wasn’t in the script. Yep, she’s improvising. I notice that she’s pulled her left arm out of her tattered shirt and that the sleeve is suddenly empty and flapping.
The applause light comes on. The audience claps like crazy. Theme music swells out of the speaker.
“And we’re clear!” shouts Gilda. “Three-minute commercial break.”
Gaynor and Pierce slap Gilda a high five.
I check out the kids in the wheelchairs down front. They’re loving the show.
I check out the rest of the crowd, too. They’re all smiling! Everybody loved the first two scenes.
Except, of course, Donna Dinkle. Because she wasn’t in either one of them. She’s over near the schoolyard set. Talking to Michael McKee.
And whatever she’s telling him isn’t doing much to calm Michael’s nerves. In fact, my “best friend” Bob has a very familiar look in his eye. It’s the one I always get right before I choke.
